Surrender Your Heart

Kylie didn’t talk or see Matt for two days. On Monday, she had herself a nervous wreck. She tried to call Squire and convince him that he didn’t need her in the studio for a week or so, but he denied her almost as soon as the words escaped her lips. So that’s why on Monday at around noon she was driving towards the studio with a strawberry smoothie in her cup holder and her iPod blaring.

As ‘Cute Without the E’ was finishing up, Kylie shut her car off and climbed out. She readjusted her jeans and white t-shirt, straightening it out so you could actually tell that it said “Things That Go Bump In The Night”. She fidgeted with her long gray pearl necklace and took a sip of her smoothie as she made her way towards the studio, her silver flip flops smacking the pavement the whole way. She opened the door to the studio and walked inside, grateful for the burst of cold air she felt. Kylie was one of those people who would much rather be cold than hot.

She walked in deeper into the studio and set her stuff on one of the tables in the lounge area, which was currently where Jack was sitting playing on his computer. He smiled at Kylie when she walked in and she instantly knew Matt hadn’t said a word to anyone about them making out. She sighed and smiled back at Jack, then walked into the control room, where unfortunately for her, Matt was. She ignored him and walked right by him and instead took a seat by Squire. “You’re here earlier than you’ve ever been. Sorry if my surprise isn’t hidden well,” he told her.

She shrugged. “Guess I just got a good start this morning. You should be happy.”

A little after Kylie walked into the room, Matt got up and left. The tension between them was being felt by everyone in the room, and he didn’t want to have to deal with all the questions, so he went to the lounge. Even more unfortunately for him, she got up a little after him and went to the lounge, where he was, to get her phone out of her purse. She didn’t think twice about going into the room because she assumed he went outside to use his phone or something. She was wrong.

Instead of making a big deal out of it, Kylie walked over to her purse, grabbed her phone and tried to walk out as quickly as possible. But Matt stopped her. “Kylie, can we talk?”

She rolled her eyes and turned to face him. “Uh, how’s this for talking. No. Bye!” She turned on her heel and walked out of the lounge, proud of herself that she was able to keep her composure for as long as she did.

Matt rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of frustration. “Kylie, come on,” he called after her.

She stopped, trying to refrain from acting like a childish three year old, and said, “What?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“Fine.”

“Look, I’m sorry about the other day. I just… I didn’t want you regretting it or hating me for taking advantage of you or anything.”

Kylie shrugged nonchalantly. “Whatever, doesn’t matter. I was a little drunk and let the alcohol get the best of me. Probably best nothing happened.” She smiled internally at how well she was playing this whole thing off.

Matt frowned. “I mean, okay. If that’s what you think.”

Kylie nodded and turned on her heel to go back to the control room. Seeing Matt slightly hurt by her nonchalant attitude was making it hard to stay nonchalant.

Matt followed her and decided now or never, he was either going to grow a pair and speak up or keep quiet. “Kylie, I think we should still talk.”

The blonde sighed. “What about, Matt?” Because I personally don’t like to relive rejection, she added silently.

At her resistance and hesitation to the idea of talking to him, Matt just shook his head. He wasn’t going to be the one to make this awkward. “Forget it,” he told her, causing her to nod and walk away again.

She walked back into the control room and plopped herself down in a seat near Squire. She wasn’t going to be much help, which is why she asked to not come in, but Squire made her and so here she was. Not helping. At all. All thanks to a guy. I’m being ridiculous, and yet there’s nothing I can do to stop it, she thought to herself. She propped her head up on her hand and listened to the part Jack was playing on the guitar. It sounded… lame. But then again, things tended to sound lame when they were minus vocals, other guitars, bass, and drums.

While Jack was busy playing, Alex came over and sat next to her. “What’s up with you?”

She shrugged. He would be the last person she would want to talk about Matt with. “Nothing,” she mumbled, turning her attention to a loose thread on the hem of her t-shirt.

“Yeah right. You sprint out of here bawling yesterday, and then you come in today and seem to be in an alright mood, until you left a few seconds ago. Then you come back in and are back to a bad mood.”

“For a jackass, you sure are observant. And sensitive, too. For your fucking information Alex, the anniversary of my best friend’s death was yesterday. So excuse me for having a mental breakdown.” At least, that’s what she was thinking. In reality, to Alex she said, “Bad day, that’s all.”

Alex shrugged but didn’t leave his spot. He decided not to question her any further.

When Matt came back into the control room, Kylie made herself not look at him. In fact, for the rest of the time that she spent in the studio, she avoided him and if she didn’t have a choice but to be in the same room as him, she ignored him. No one noticed really. Alex did, but he figured it was the whole “bad day” thing coming into play. Squire did, but he chose to address it after everyone was leaving the studio.

He stopped Kylie and made her wait while the band left, saying their goodbyes. “What's up?”

Kylie frowned and narrowed her eyes. “You held me back to ask me what’s up?”

“I mean, what’s going on? You go from letting Matt staying at your place to not speaking a word to each other the whole day. So, again I ask, what’s up?”

She sighed. She wasn’t going to tell him, but the more she tried to dodge the topic, the more determined Squire was to make her answer him. So finally, she rolled her eyes and said, “You were right.”

“About?”

“I kissed Matt the other night. It backfired, and now I have to try and play it off that it was the alcohol in my system and that it didn’t matter.”

The older man groaned. “You know how I warned you before they showed up to not break any hearts and to be careful? Well you sure are doing a wonderful job of completely ignoring that advice and doing the polar opposite of what I said.”

She shrugged. “Whatever; it’s over and done with, and there isn’t a thing I can do about it. Let’s drop it.”

Squire put up his hands in defense. “Fine, fine. Consider it dropped. Go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Kylie nodded and left. Fortunately for her, she hadn’t thought about Matt much today. Unfortunately, after her little talk with Squire, it was all she could think about. She wanted to slam her head against the steering wheel.

Sighing, she pulled into her driveway, got out, and prepared herself for a night of trying her best to not re-play the knee-weakening kiss from the other night over and over again like a bad drive-in movie.