Creating Something out of Nothing

THREE AND A HALF YEARS LATER

As I was setting my three year old son Ryan in the seat of the shopping my cart of Wal Mart, my cell phone vibrated and rang. When I finally fished it out of my purse, my son looking at me curiously, the caller id said 'Mom.'

"Hey, Mama."

Sniffle. "Tammy. I need you to come home, darling."

"What happened? Why are you crying?"

"Dad... your dad, he had a heart attack."

"A heart attack? What? Is-is he okay?"

"He's in ICU right now. They're not sure about how his future condition is gonna be. You gotta come home now, baby. I don't want it to be too late for you, if you need to--"

"Shh, Mommy, don't say it." I pulled some of my now shoulder-length hair behind my right hair. "I'll be there, if not tonight, then tomorrow morning."

"Okay, baby. I love you."

"I love you too, Mama."

I looked down at Ryan, got close to his face, and said to him, "We gotta go see Pop Pop."

"Yeah? Why?"

"He's sick. We gotta go as soon as possible."

"Ohh. Okay," he said, nodding his head. "Let's go, Mommy!"

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After I'd gotten that phone call from my mom, Ryan and I went back to our apartment, packed, and booked the next flight out to Huntington. Hours later, when we were finally on the plane, I sunk down into my seat and closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose with my forefinger and thumb: I was getting a headache the size of Texas, and I knew exactly why.

What if I bumped into Zacky? I had no idea what he was doing now, because whenever I talked to Matt, we never spoke about him. I knew the guys had a band, but they were looking for another bassist and hadn't yet found one they liked.

Landing in Huntington several hours later, Ryan and I woke up simultaneously, seeing that the sun had already set by then [eight in the evening]. Matt was meeting Ryan and I at the airport, picking us up and taking us home since he still lived with his parents next door to mine. I hadn't seen Matt since I'd left, so I was sure we'd both look different to each other. I had put some blonde streaks in my curls that were now shoulder-length, as opposed to the near waist-length they were those three and half years ago. So when I finally saw Matt, I was only mildly surprised to see that his ears were gauged, that his lip was pierced, and he had a few tattoos showing from under his black t-shirt. Ryan had seen pictures and talked to Matt on the phone, so when he saw Matt, he reached arms out and screamed, "Matty!" to him.

Matt's face lit up with a smile as he reach for Ryan and hugged him. "Hey, little man. I wasn't sure when I'd get to see you."

"Well, you see me now!" he giggled, making Matt laugh. Then Matt looked at me, still smiling, and pulled me into a hug with Ryan still in his arms.

"It's so good to see you, Matt."

"You too. You know everyone's missed you. Nothing's been the same."

"Well, I had to leave, you know that."

"Yeah, I know."

"So, can we get luggage now, or are we gonna live here forever?" I joked with him. I received a light smack on the head in return.

"Shut uupp!" Ryan giggled at Matt's command at me.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Ryan kept repeating.

"See what you started? Now he's gonna say that all the time."

Matt cracked a grin and shrugged. "Oops. Oh well."

I smacked him over the head this time and laughed. "Let's go to luggage claim, please."

"Yes ma'am."

"Aye aye, Cappin," squealed Ryan from Matt's arms.

"Cap-tin," said Matt.

Ryan punched him on the nose as hard as he could, although it wasn't very hard at all and laughed, saying, "Shut up!"

We all laughed, walking downstairs.

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3RD PERSON POV

As they pulled up to hospital, Tammy grew more and more nervous. Her father had always been one of the only people that knew what she was thinking without her saying a word (Matt being the other). And now she was going to be face to face with the ugly truth that nobody is immortal and that her parents would most likely die before she would. The mere thought terrified her to the point of panic, but she had to stay brave in front of Ryan.

"Alright, we're here," chimed Matt from the driver's seat.

Tammy was only slightly perplexed at the fact that her heavy thinking distracted her so greatly. And by the time she'd gotten herself out of Matt's black SUV, Matt had already unloaded Ryan from the backseat and was standing beside her. He was waiting for her to be ready to see her father in a way she'd never seen him: fragile and nearly lifeless.

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Daniel James was by no means weak, frail, or lifeless. Walking down the hall to his hospital room, 306, Tammy, Matt, and Ryan all heard choruses of laughter, sounding like their source was Room 306, but they didn't really pay attention. The audio preview didn't prepare Tammy for the sight of her father, however, because Daniel looked as strong and hearty as he always had; his eyes were sparkling, and he was smiling like a kid on Christmas.

"Gramma!" squealed Ryan from Matt's arms. Once Matt set him down on the floor, Ryan ran up to Ellen, Tammy's mother, squeezing his arms around her neck and kissing her cheek. Ellen was so overjoyed with the affections of her grandson, whom she'd never met, that tears sprang to her eyes. She laughed as a few of those tears fell and she kissed him on his cheek. Ryan let out a squeal then looked down at his grandfather, reaching for him now.

"Pop Pop!"

"Hey, Ryan," Daniel's boisterous voice full of love spoke. "How was your flight?"

"I dunno. I sleeped the whole time!"

Everyone in the room laughed. Tammy looked around to see that her Aunt Tabitha, her Aunt Sandy [her father's sister], Tammy's Grandma James [or Nana, as Tammy called her], and her Uncle Theo were all in attendance. She and Matt walked around, greeting them all. When Matt tried to simply hug Grandma James, she pulled him in for a bear hug, which he laughed at and returned. When the commotion settled, Ryan wriggled out of his grandmother's arms and onto Daniel's lap, and Tammy turned to face him as well.

"Hi, Daddy," she let out in a small, child-like voice. He held open his left arm, as Ryan was settled into the crook of his right. Tammy led herself over to her father and held onto him tightly as she cried.

"I'm okay, Tammy. I'm gonna be fine," he whispered in her ear, rubbing her back and kissing her now wet and salty cheek. She nodded, not trusting her voice, and lifted her head to look at her father and her son.

"He looks so like you, Daddy."

"No, Tammy," he said, looking at her forlornly, "he looks like his daddy."

Ryan sat, watching the two and wondering if he'd see his father. He looked at Matt and ran into Matt's arms, voicing his question to him. Matt looked bewildered.

"I dunno, buddy. That depends on Mommy and Daddy."

"Oh. Otay." Ryan paused to look up into Matt's eyes. "Uncle Matt?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"I love you. You're the best uncle ever."

"Thanks, buddy. I love you, too."

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Matt, Tammy, Ryan, and Stephanie walked into Tammy's parents' house, Tammy and Matt lugging in groceries and luggage while Stephanie walked in carrying a sleeping Ryan.

"Where do I put him," she asked Tammy.

"Remember my old room? Just put him in there."

"Okay." With that, she disappeared up the stairs.

"Man, I'm so glad they redecorated this house. It was fucking ugly when I was here," Tammy said, putting some milk in the fridge. Matt chuckled softly, but it soon faded to silence. It was time he say something about what Ryan asked him earlier.

"Tams?"

"Yeah, Matt?"

"Are you gonna let Zacky see Ryan?"

Tammy froze, not thinking Matt would bring up the subject. She turned to look at him.

"I hadn't thought about it," she said, the lie slipping off her tongue easily.

"Why do you lie to me when you know that I know when you're doing it?"

"I don't now," she said, sighing and sitting at the table. She ran her fingers through her curly hair. "I don't know, Matt, I hadn't figured that part of this out. I'm still kinda stuck on my dad's heart attack."

"Well, he's okay, so now you can focus on that."

"Yeah, the only problem being that I don't want to."

"Well, Ryan asked me if he was gonna see his daddy, Tammy!" Matt was getting annoyed with Tammy's immaturity and childish antics. He knew she didn't want to face Zacky, but she was in the real world, and not only did Zacky deserve it, but so did Ryan. And his raised voice made Tammy wince, his words causing her to worry.

"He did?"

"Yes, Tammy." Matt calmed once he saw the fear in her eyes. He sighed as he pulled her in for a tight hug. "Did you think that when you finally came back with Ryan, that after telling him about Zacky, he wouldn't wonder?"

"No," came her muffled reply as she spoke into his chest. "But I hoped it."

"Well, I hate to break it to you, doll, but Ryan definitely wants to see Zacky. And Zacky definitely wants to see Ryan." The voice came from the doorway, and when Matt and Tammy looked up, they saw Stephanie with a smile on her face. She walked over to Tammy and pushed her head, making Tammy scrunch up her noise and Matt laugh. When the humor died, Stephanie spoke again. "Seriously. You've gotta get your head together and shove your emotions out of the way, because your son and his father need each other. No matter how much you hope it's not true, it is. And you've gotta face it, or you're gonna regret it."

Tammy sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"Alright, well, act like you know, dammit!"

END 3RD PERSON POV

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ZACKY'S POV

I walked into my kitchen after acknowledging that it was 3AM. Why the fuck am I up?

All day I've been having these weird butterflies in my stomach, like something's gonna happen. But I don't know what the fuck could happen, or what needs to happen, other than finding another bassist.

Saying some choice words to the dark silence of my apartment, I pulled out some milk, poured some into a mug, and put the mug in the microwave. Warm milk is supposed to make you sleepy. I sighed as I sat down at the kitchen table and laid my head on my arms, letting my mind wander.

To Tammy.

Every now and then I wonder how she's doing or where she went or if she had the baby. Our baby. And if she did, what'd she have. I wish I could know, but her parents won't tell me, Matt won't tell me, Mandy won't tell me, and nobody else knows so I'm shit outta luck.

But I miss her.

And as that thought makes it way into my conscious mind, I hear some light footsteps pad up next to me.

"Baby?"

"Yeah, baby?'

"You okay?" My girlfriend, once ex-girlfriend, Madison Lee (yeah, remember her?) rubbed my shoulders. I guess I was more visibly tense than I'd wanted to let on.

"Yeah, baby. I'm okay," I said, lifting my head to look in her eyes and reassure her. She smiled softly at me, but it didn't reach her eyes.

After that night we had sex at that party, I didn't talk to Madison again until I bumped into her at the store, sometime after Tammy left town. We started talking and I found out that Maddie had matured and apparently wasn't the homewrecking troublemaker that I knew her as. And since I wasn't in the position to choose, I decided I'd give her a second chance. And we've been together ever since. She loves me and I love her, but the thing that sucks and isn't really fair is that I'm not in love with her. For some reason, I'm holding that back from her, and she has been nothing but good to me. I looked up at her then.

Her short and choppy black hair had grown out, the layers still there, but her hair was longer. She'd slimmed up a little from running with me in the mornings, or whenever we woke up. I smiled up at her, hoping it looked sincere, because I meant the smile, I just didn't know if my face would show it. When she smiled back at me, I figured she was satisfied and I stood up. We were heading to the bedroom when the microwave beeped.

"You cookin' somethin'?" she asked, stopping our moving bodies in the hallway. I remembered the milk.

"Oh, yeah. I don't need it now. I have you," I replied before kissing her. "Let's go to bed."

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I woke up the next day around noon to an empty bed, a note in Madison's place.

'Had to run to work for an emergency. Call you as soon as I can. Run w/o me. Love, Maddie'

I rubbed some crust out of my eye after putting the note on my table and got up to go to the kitchen. The mug of milk was still sitting in the microwave. Making a face, I poured it out into the sink and rinsed the mug so I could get some more. But looking at the counter, I saw that I had just poured the last of the milk down the drain.

"Fuck," I hissed out loud, and slammed the empty carton onto the counter. Now I have to go to the store.

After I got dressed, I grabbed the trash and walked out the door, patting myself to make sure I had my wallet and then locked the door behind me. Walking down the hall, I whistled some random tune that popped into my head, and threw the trash down my floor' chute. I walked the two flights of stairs down to the parking lot to my four-door Honda. I figured since we needed grocery shopping done, I'd do it, which meant I was going out to the big Publix.

END ZACKY'S POV

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I woke up the next morning, cuddling with Ryan's teddy bear. The sun was shining through the window and I could hear Matt and Ryan and some other guy downstairs. After I brushed my teeth and put on some boxers, I decided to investigate.

As soon as I opened the door, the smell of chocolate and pancakes hit me. I followed the smell and laughter down into the kitchen, and was met by Matt's back (flipping chocolate chip pancakes), Ryan drinking some orange juice out of a cup, and the tall, lanky body of Jimmy.

"Jimmy!" I screamed, running to him and jumping into his arms.

"Tammy!" Jimmy screamed, holding me up like a child, his arms under my butt so I wouldn't fall. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smacked a wet, slobbery kiss on his cheek, making him groand and Ryan to yell out a laugh. Matt turned around after putting one last pancake on a stacked plate. He looked up at me and smiled.

"What's up, Tams?"

I decided to joke with him and since, "Heeeeey, Good Lookin'! Whaaaat ya got cookin'?", to which they all laughed.

Jimmy pinched my side and whine, "You don't say sweet shit like that to me!" He had the audacity to pout.

"That's because it's no fun. I can't get a rise out of Beth."

"Fuck!" screamed Matt.

"Matt! Three year old present!" I screamed back.

"Sorry! But I forgot that you don't have any more eggs or juice."

"And the problem is...?"

"I know you don't like eggs, but we want them."

"Well, it's okay. I'll go to the corner store and get some. I wanted out of the house anyway."

"Corner store isn't open, they're remodeling."

"Okay, I'll go to the big Publix."

He looked at me skeptically, knowing I can spend hours in there, even though they only have groceries.

"I won't take forever, I promise."

"Alright. Jimmy, let her down so she can put on pants."

As Jimmy let me go, Ryan decided he wanted to be a part of the conversation, so he screamed out, "Fuck, Mommy, no take hours! Be quick!"

I glared at Matt and said, "You can explain to him he can't say that word."

Matt blushed and looked at the floor. I walked out to change, shaking my head.

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I stole Matt's keys since he taught my kid to say 'fuck.' The ride was quick after I switched out his Metallica cd for a Rob Zombie one. I pulled into a spot at Publix and got out, walking into the bulding, looking at it in awe. I grabbed a basket after I entered the second door and wlaked carelessly towards the eggs.

I grabbed a carton of eighteen eggs and opened the top. As I was examining the eggs, I started walking and bumped into someone. When I looked up, my heart stopped. A flat-line beep screeched through my head.

"Zacky?"