Ashley

Max's POV

I sobbed silently into Dad's shoulder. I never cried; it took something really big to. She couldn't be dead! She was only 15. "She can't be dead," I sobbed.

Dad rubbed my back.

Ronnie was back in the hospital room with that one girl who was in there with him earlier. A doctor shoved past us and into his room.

"I'm so sorry," the doctor who Dad had been yelling at earlier whispered.

"Is that all you can say?" I asked, breaking away from Dad. "Like a robot? Just programmed to say that?"

"I...I'm so...I don't mean to cause any trouble, Mr. Green. I-"

"Apologizing won't make her alive again," I said in a low voice.

The doctor stammered some more, then walked off.

"She's dead!" Ronnie shouted, and barreled out of the room.

"Ronnie!" shouted the woman who had been in his room, running after him.

I slid down the wall I'd been leaning against. I let the tears spill out of my eyes. I just couldn't believe she was dead. My own sister. Dad drove me home, and we called Mom at Grandma's house. She came home immediately, and we planned her funeral. I didn't want to be part of the planning, but Mom and Dad had magazines lying everywhere. I just sat in her bedroom, thinking. Suddenly, I stood up. This was our fault. I ignored her, and so did Mom. Dad was the only one who'd tried to stop her. It was my fault and Mom's. I ran downstairs. I felt terrible. "Mom!" I shouted.

She stared at me. "What, Max? Can't you see we're busy?"

"It's all our fault."

"What?"

"It's all our fault."

"Max, what are you-"

"It's all our fault."

"Stop saying that! Just...just leave us alone."

"No, Mom! It's all our fault."

She yelled, then. "Max, just, go outside, go take a walk; I don't care. Just leave us alone!"

I sighed and walked into our backyard. I stayed there all day. I felt empty inside. Like a part of me was missing. I also felt like there's a shadow hanging over me. Is this what depression feels like?