Unexpected

Beep….beep…beep….beep….

That was all I could hear…..

His chest rising up and down…..

Was all I could see….

The warmth of my tears…..

Was all I could feel….

I knew of nothing else…..

But him….lying there….

Non-responsive……fighting for his life

And me…..finally admitting to myself that I, Cassidy Monroe, was in love with my best friend………

Paul Kevin Jonas II…………..

~2 years ago~

I sat staring at the ceiling of my room studying the many glow-in-the dark constellations there.
I had put them there years ago with Leslie, my bff since forever.
But until today I had never really studied them Taking in the crazy shapes Leslie and I had made. We were only 10 at the time we had put them up, but we still loved to look at them at night.
But it was broad daylight
And the only reason I was staring at them was because of him……
He had come into my room has he always did. Asking his many stupid random questions that I never grew tired of.
And then he asked about the stars and why there were like they were.
I said I didn’t know.
He just made a questionable face and left.
He was always doing that.
Coming into the room and making me thing about all of this stupid random crap that I could honestly care less about.
But I always thought about it.
Always.
He always had that affect on me.
Paul Kevin Jonas II had always been able to change my way of thinking since the day I first met him.
But looking back now I realize…….that, that day…….that sunny sunny day….I had first realized why he always had that affect on me.
Why I would always stop what I was doing for him…….
Was because I loved him….and I let him break me down…..
I had always given him the power to control me……

And secretly………..

I would pray he would always do that to me……..

Because I loved it……….