Estrella; where it all began.
The Choice
The choice
I rubbed my head at the spot that hurts so much. Out of the blue, I felt a pair of gentle, warm hands massaging the back of my head. It was too soothing for comfort.
I looked up. Frank was wearing a white singlet and red striped boxers. His eyebrows arched up and his lips parted as if to let out a scream so shrill. He looked sorry for what he did and kept mouthing "Sorry".
About a thousand times.
Now, he was just a breathe away. He was so close, I could just move a little and we would be entangle in each other's arms. I could feel my whole body burning, the desire clawing its way out of me as I tried so hard to supress it inside.
I can't do this! I love Gerard...
Don't I?
"Oh no, Aisyah. I didn't mean to-"
I cut him off.
"No, I owe you an applogy. I knocked you off the bed. I'm -"
Frank cupped my mouth. He stared longingly into my eyes. His eyes, now a glassy green, went inside and hugged me. I felt like I had fallen into a deep trance.
"You did nothing wrong. You don't have to applogise..."
Slowly, I saw a strange shine in his eyes. The same shine that Gerard gave me when he eyed my face.
He went closer. I pushed myself against the wall, scared. I struggled to keep a straight face and look as though I did not care about him. He just kept on coming closer.
The thought of Gerard still taunting me in the back of my mind made me uneasy.
Frank let go of my face and his head came near to mine. I wanted to turn away, to resist and to shout at him to backoff. To push him away and order him to leave me alone. To just close the door and forget everything that had happen. To just be alone.
But, I did not. I let him be.
In a flash, his lips came into contact with mine. A tingle went straight down to my spine. My heart was now caught in between my throat, choking me. His soft, warm lips massaged and danced with mine and within seconds, I let him in. He let out a giggle, as though he knew I want him as much as he wants me.
His hands hugged me and drew me closer. I could feel Frank's heart beating the same beat as mine. Fast, furious and exploding with desires.
He moaned in pleasure. His hands now, rubbed my back, making it feel so hot. His tongue caressed mine. The flavour of chocolate spread all over my mouth. Our tongues twirled and rubbed against each other. By this time, we were trying to swallow each other. I could feel a moan escape from my own lips. The heat from our bodies grew too much and soon, we were perspiring, moaning, and gasping for air in ecstacy.
I finally dared to hug him in return.. He slowly nimbled my ear. Then, he starts to gave my neck a series of kisses. Suddenly, beside me, I heard a whisper...From Gerard.
"Your eyes.."
I trembled. Frank's hands slowly went up and tried to take off his singlet.
"They're beautiful."
I immediately pushed Frank away and stopped. Guilty creep into me and I felt terrible. As though I had just kill Gerard with my bare hands.
I felt dirty.
Frank's whole face was scrunched up and painted in dark red.The presence of painful denial, dismay and devastation was clearly potrayed in his eyes. Including shock of what he had just done.
We stared at each other in silence.
Without warning,he looked away. Tears glided down on his cheek.
"I didn't mean to... I ...I knew you and Gerard..." His voice trailed off, as though he was being hit by a truck .
I quickly hugged him. This whole thing was my fault! I should have stopped him before it gets too complicated. Now, I felt like I had killed both Frank and Gerard.
Frank whimpered in my arms.
"Aisyah.."
"Its okay.."
"I .. love .. you."
The wind howled as though it understand the pain we both felt.
He hugged me even tighter.
"I wish it would never end..& I am sorry I did this to you..." he whispered.
Something wet glided away from my eyes. How I wish that Gerard was the one in my arms. Frank and I wouldn't be caught in this mess.
For the first time, I saw his other side. The one that he kept hidden to protect himself from being hurt. The Frank that I knew at first was vulgar, aggresive and kind of funny. Now, the Frank I held in my arms, is sensitive, loving and scared ,all at the same time.
I looked at the mirror that stood in front of me. Then, it dawned upon me.
My eyes, that were staring back at me, had send me a message.
Belinda must pay.
I rubbed my head at the spot that hurts so much. Out of the blue, I felt a pair of gentle, warm hands massaging the back of my head. It was too soothing for comfort.
I looked up. Frank was wearing a white singlet and red striped boxers. His eyebrows arched up and his lips parted as if to let out a scream so shrill. He looked sorry for what he did and kept mouthing "Sorry".
About a thousand times.
Now, he was just a breathe away. He was so close, I could just move a little and we would be entangle in each other's arms. I could feel my whole body burning, the desire clawing its way out of me as I tried so hard to supress it inside.
I can't do this! I love Gerard...
Don't I?
"Oh no, Aisyah. I didn't mean to-"
I cut him off.
"No, I owe you an applogy. I knocked you off the bed. I'm -"
Frank cupped my mouth. He stared longingly into my eyes. His eyes, now a glassy green, went inside and hugged me. I felt like I had fallen into a deep trance.
"You did nothing wrong. You don't have to applogise..."
Slowly, I saw a strange shine in his eyes. The same shine that Gerard gave me when he eyed my face.
He went closer. I pushed myself against the wall, scared. I struggled to keep a straight face and look as though I did not care about him. He just kept on coming closer.
The thought of Gerard still taunting me in the back of my mind made me uneasy.
Frank let go of my face and his head came near to mine. I wanted to turn away, to resist and to shout at him to backoff. To push him away and order him to leave me alone. To just close the door and forget everything that had happen. To just be alone.
But, I did not. I let him be.
In a flash, his lips came into contact with mine. A tingle went straight down to my spine. My heart was now caught in between my throat, choking me. His soft, warm lips massaged and danced with mine and within seconds, I let him in. He let out a giggle, as though he knew I want him as much as he wants me.
His hands hugged me and drew me closer. I could feel Frank's heart beating the same beat as mine. Fast, furious and exploding with desires.
He moaned in pleasure. His hands now, rubbed my back, making it feel so hot. His tongue caressed mine. The flavour of chocolate spread all over my mouth. Our tongues twirled and rubbed against each other. By this time, we were trying to swallow each other. I could feel a moan escape from my own lips. The heat from our bodies grew too much and soon, we were perspiring, moaning, and gasping for air in ecstacy.
I finally dared to hug him in return.. He slowly nimbled my ear. Then, he starts to gave my neck a series of kisses. Suddenly, beside me, I heard a whisper...From Gerard.
"Your eyes.."
I trembled. Frank's hands slowly went up and tried to take off his singlet.
"They're beautiful."
I immediately pushed Frank away and stopped. Guilty creep into me and I felt terrible. As though I had just kill Gerard with my bare hands.
I felt dirty.
Frank's whole face was scrunched up and painted in dark red.The presence of painful denial, dismay and devastation was clearly potrayed in his eyes. Including shock of what he had just done.
We stared at each other in silence.
Without warning,he looked away. Tears glided down on his cheek.
"I didn't mean to... I ...I knew you and Gerard..." His voice trailed off, as though he was being hit by a truck .
I quickly hugged him. This whole thing was my fault! I should have stopped him before it gets too complicated. Now, I felt like I had killed both Frank and Gerard.
Frank whimpered in my arms.
"Aisyah.."
"Its okay.."
"I .. love .. you."
The wind howled as though it understand the pain we both felt.
He hugged me even tighter.
"I wish it would never end..& I am sorry I did this to you..." he whispered.
Something wet glided away from my eyes. How I wish that Gerard was the one in my arms. Frank and I wouldn't be caught in this mess.
For the first time, I saw his other side. The one that he kept hidden to protect himself from being hurt. The Frank that I knew at first was vulgar, aggresive and kind of funny. Now, the Frank I held in my arms, is sensitive, loving and scared ,all at the same time.
I looked at the mirror that stood in front of me. Then, it dawned upon me.
My eyes, that were staring back at me, had send me a message.
Belinda must pay.