A Brand New Mourning.

The sun was in it’s highest point in the sky, it’s searing beams licked at everyone’s faces generously. For mid-September the immense heat was unusual, summer had arguably drawn to a close in early August and it was not rare to see people wrapped in gloves and scarf’s during the early days of September. However, no one dared complain about the sudden bounteousness of Mother Nature.

Bodies littered the school grounds like empty chip packets and coke cans, limbs exposed, muscles flexed, all in awe of the tremendous heat. Jersey was notoriously cold.

A group of boys sat in the centre of the throng of bodies, like silver idols glowing beneath the suns radiant glimmer. One, unusually pale boy, called out to his burly friend with a large torso and brown cherub curls, whom was racing around the football court inflicting his masculinity on anyone willing to watch. He had removed his tank top long before lunch had even began, along with one of his friends, Frank.

The teachers kept lock lipped about their near nakedness; the females reminding themselves of the age difference between themselves and the boys and the males surrendering to the fact they are out of their element with lack of youth and perfectly toned abs. Frank and Chris hardly denied the attention they got, they knew they looked good, Frank with his fading faux hawk and crooked smile and Chris with his large, tanned six pack. The other boys in the group laughed at their friends confidence but held no remorse or jealousy to their exaggerated sex appeal.

The four boys who weren’t playing football, relaxed in the middle of the field cracking boyish jokes and admiring the talent across the playground. Greys winked at any girl who walked past in a short skirt or bikini top, earning blood rushes and girlish giggles. The entire setting was more like a beach party than a lunch break.

“Oh for god sake Oliver will you stop it!” Jasper whined after Greys slapped the arse of a girl in his calculus class. Frank propped himself on his bare elbow and looked from Greys to Jasper repetitively. Nobody ever called Greys by his first name, it was given to him by his birth mother who put him up for adoption when he was just four months old. He had never really been addressed by his first name, Oliver, since he was adopted at five. Ever since he’s gone by ‘Greys’, which was the sir name of his adoptive family. Of course, every now and then a teacher would call him by his first name when he was in trouble or whatnot but in general he made it clear that he no longer answered to ‘Oliver’.

His face crumpled for an instant then relaxed just as quick, the pain was almost nonexistent but Frank had been looking at Greys at that moment and saw, felt, the hurt register through his system. Quickly, he recovered and allowed his usual playfulness resurface. “What have you got the hots for her or something?” both Frank and Gerard stared intently at Jaspers calm face, he looked serene, all most too calm. He denied the claim but didn’t look any of the boys in the eyes and they all erupted into a heated laughter.

“Jasper for fucks sake why didn’t you just say man!” Greys said, leaning over and running his hard hand through his friends afro like ringlets. A deep blush surfaced beneath his walnut skin.

“Now that‘s in the open what about the rest of you?” Greys’ blue eyes skimmed the faces of his other two friends; his offending pupils settled on Gerard. “spill…”

The boy with ink white skin pulled separate strands of grass from beneath him, ripping each delicate wisp to shreds. His newly cut black layers blew lightly in the humid breeze whilst the sun reflected dangerously off the dramatic patch of red on his crown. His pupils dilated slightly.

“Don‘t even go there man, you know I‘m not interested in relationships.”

Frank, who was propped up opposite his best friend, smiled warmly. “That doesn‘t mean you can‘t be attracted to people! C‘mon man, I know you‘re trying to impress someone or else you wouldn‘t have jazzed up your hair.” Greys snickered loudly, like a hyena having trapped it’s pray. Jasper broke into smile too, happy the attention was off him.

“What- no! I cut my hair for my benefit only.” Gerard’s eyes slid over to Frank for support, they where glowing green, as they usually did when the sun was out. For a moment, the boy with the scruffy faux hawk was taken aback. In the second Gerard had looked at him, he had been reminded of just how beautiful his best friend really was. Over the years he had grew accustomed to his friends face, and often forgot just how stunning he really was, even more so with the new satin hair cut - which he hadn’t fully appreciated yet. Occasionally Gerard would stand in a certain way or smile his unique smile, when the sunlight beamed of his artistically sculptured cheek bones and would make Frank want to cry and dance simultaneously for having such an unfortunately good looking best friend. Of course he had asked his companion repeatedly why he never used the goods god had given him to get a beautiful girlfriend and do beautiful things, but Gerard always replied simply claiming to prefer abstinence.

“No come on, tell us the truth…” Frank added smirking, although he was sure he knew why Gerard had cut his hair and claimed to want a new start but he wanted to watch his best friend squirm.

“Frank!” Gerard’s mouth dropped in disbelief and Frank could see his pink tongue hiding behind his child like teeth. “You‘re supposed to be on my side!”

“says who?” Frank joked, eyeing his friends silk black locks; one of his raised eyebrows was completely engulfed by his new fringe. Instinctively Frank brought his clammy hand up to his own hair to see if it felt anywhere near as soft as Gerard’s looked. He was solemnly disappointed when all he felt was the hard straggled ends of his faded, bleached hair.

Gerard stared at his best friend in shock but then surrendered a smile. “As soon as I find someone relatively attractive around here, you‘ll be the first one I tell okay?” he sighed, still grinning, at Greys- who nodded his head and fanned his reddening face in hope of easing some of the heat.

“Your hair looks great by the way.” he added, honestly. Jasper and Frank glanced upon Gerard’s five star locks. “Seriously, I‘m not trying to sound gay or anything, but you do look like a stunner.” Gerard, to Frank’s surprise didn’t lower his head and blush, but instead he straightened his back and ran one of his innocent hands through his pin straight hair.

“Thanks.”

From nowhere, Chris came bounding over to the boys and threw himself onto the grass dramatically, panting, sweaty. His sudden arrival disrupted the lustful stares at Gerard’s hair. “What…are we…talking ‘bout?” Chris choked, before pouring half a bottle of water over his naked chest. A group of nearby girls looked at him coyly- he didn’t noticed.

“Gerard‘s hair.”

“Oh yeah, it looks wicked man!” he sat up suddenly and multiple droplets of water ran down his body; he looked model like. “You‘re gonna put Frank out of business.” everyone laughed loudly at the idea, although, inside Frank didn’t deny the prospect; he knew as soon as Gerard gave in to his male instincts, the girls would be falling at his feet. Frank never doubted that Gerard was more attractive than him. However, the idea didn’t worry him in the slightest.

Gerard made an unexpectedly crude remark that made most of the boys raise their eyebrows. He, out of all of them, was the one who devoted the most respect to women so the comment came at no less than a huge surprise. Where did that come from? Frank questioned mentally, but brushed off his unease.

In the pocket of his three quarter length shorts, he felt his cell phone vibrate excitedly, the caller ID was hidden and he took the call carelessly. None of the boys had noticed Frank’s call and continued with their sexual mannerisms, Gerard getting in the heat of it.

Frank sat up slowly, his knitted eyebrows drawing together as he hung up the phone.

“What‘s the time?” he asked casually, breaking up the verbal sex. Jasper answered and Frank stood up, his body straining beneath the suns glare.

“where are you going?” Gerard asked, thoughtlessly standing up too.

“I just got a call from the doctor he said he needs to see me as soon as possible.” he said indifferently, stretching mercifully before throwing his bag over his shoulder. He heard someone whistle behind him.

He glanced at Gerard who was now by his side. A flash of terror ran through his eyes at the tremor in franks voice. Only he would have been able to pick it out. The rest of the group seemed cool about the unexpected request from Frank’s doctor and he glanced at Gerard once more - his best friend smiled understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with the quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across only four or five times in your life. It seemed to face the entire world in an instant and understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you just as far as you believed in yourself.

“I‘m going to come with you.” he announced. Franks eyes may have fallen out of his sockets at that very moment. Gerard never optionally skipped class. He always- or nearly always- played by the rules and Frank couldn’t quite grasp where the sudden confidence was coming from. He put it down to the heat.

“Are you sure?” Frank questioned, searching the emerald orbs. He nodded and they walked away from the school grounds nonchalantly, bidding their farewells to their mates. The sun didn’t cool and Frank shoved his death day t-shirt in his bag. They started talking and messing around boisterously once they were out of school and any previous worries about the phone call fled their over heated systems.

-

The clinic was empty and the building was the epitome of stuffy. The white fan span dully upon the ceiling, the wings buzzed annoyingly as it grudgingly rotated so slowly it didn’t cut through the heat at all. A woman at the reception sat fanning herself with a pathetic hand made paper fan. If she saw the two boys approach she made no hint of it until they stood directly in front of her. Frank gave her the required information and before he and Gerard had even had a chance to sit and complain about the heat his doctor bounded into the reception area and asked Frank to follow him.- he tagged behind, running his clammy hand through his hair.

Gerard sat nervously on the plastic chair. The fan groaned angrily above him and the paper fan ripped through the air every second and a half as the receptionist tried to cool herself down in vain. His stomach was folding and unfolding, churning and yearning for Frank to return with his usual crooked smile and shower him with relief- good news.

The wait felt endless and he was convinced that if his friend didn’t return soon he was going to chew off his bottom lip from stress. Naively he tried to convince himself that he was over reacting and that it was just another check up or something. If it was something serious, Frank would be physically aware right?

Gradually he began to ease up a little and became more aware of the sweltering heat. He could feel miniscule beads of sweat trickling down the back of his neck and he wished he had a bottle of water; his mouth had dried with stress.

As if an angel had heard his call- ten minutes late, he heard a door click open. Gerard jumped out of his uncomfortable seat expectantly, turning to face the opening door. He saw Frank step out of the room, face pale, mouth slack and eyes distant. Instantly, his stomach dropped. He had his t-shirt thrown over his shoulder carelessly and Gerard could just see the letters R.I.P through the creases.

Any sign of Franks previously boisterousness or happiness was gone. Completely. He moved in front of the doctor robotically, the emptiness in his face unnerved Gerard to no end. Never in his life had he seen Frank with such an expression. He was terrified.

Bounding up to his friend he shook him demanding to know what was wrong. The doctor placed his hand on Gerard’s shoulder to stop him from bringing any life into Frank, who stayed silent in what appeared to be shock. He walked out of the clinic, Gerard in tow. He didn’t talk and Gerard gave up trying to ask Frank what happened. They walked and walked and walked. Neither of them knowing where they were going. Gerard had only one question running over and over through his mind, whilst Frank’s own brain seemed to be on shut down.

The sun began to die down and the humidity calmed until the usual cold September wind began to feel like knives stabbing at their exposed flesh; the hairs on Frank’s arms stood on end but he didn’t appear to notice or care. Instead he just seemed intent on walking to the end of the world.