The Bird and the Worm

“Brian, I’m not sure I understand what you’re getting at.”

I blinked once, trying to decode the situation

“Brian, are you-“ He glanced at my hand, encased in both of his.

“Heather.” He said my name as a whisper, and his eyes flashed back to mine. “If I said that you make me feel warmer inside and more loved and important than any other woman I’ve known, would you know what I mean?” I nodded, biting my lip. “What if I asked you to marry me?”

My eyes widened, and then I realized what it was that he was asking me. “You want me to- you want me to be your-“ I blinked a couple times, and Brian dropped one of his hands, lacing the other into mine. I wanted to be a Sim in that moment. I could save my progress, and then wait until later to give him an answer. I already had the ring on my hand, and there was no way I could say no to those eyes…

A more impatient man would have huffed and asked ‘Well? What’s your answer?’, but Brian was patient enough to understand that I was processing this chain of events. His eyes watched mine, and I searched his chocolate orbs for answers. He bit his lip, and I smiled at him, placing my right hand over his, and then leaned in to pull him into a kiss. He squeezed my hand, and his lips pushed against mine as he kissed me back.

He seemed almost grateful in the way he kissed me back, and he released my hand in order to place his on my waist. Mine found his shoulder, and he pulled me closer. I shifted so that I was on my knees beside him.

“I’d say yes,” I murmured before kissing him again. Why he wanted someone like me to be his wife, I wasn’t sure, but he apparently wanted to commit himself to me as my…

I couldn’t picture that word describing him, and I pulled my lips from his, watching the way he smiled, his eyes twinkling like before, and then he touched my face. I could have sworn that he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen, especially after this kind of a moment. His smile shifted, and he touched his lips to my forehead. “Thank you,” he breathed. “I love you.” His lips brushed along my skin once again. “So much.” I slid my arms around his neck, and he kissed the tip of my nose.

“I just don’t get how a man like you wants to marry a girl like me,” I said, my eyes closing and my head tilting back as he kissed my neck. “I mean, I’m a nobody, and you’re a freaking rock star.”

“No,” he said, trailing along my neckline. “You’re not a nobody. You’re the most important thing in my life.”

“Most important?” I questioned, my voice a little breathy. He nodded against the crook of my neck, and I smiled, my arms tightening around him. “I love you, Brian.” His teeth nipped at my skin, and I felt chills throughout my entire body. And I’m ready to tie myself to you after knowing you for five months. “This was perfect…thank you.”

He pulled his lips from my neck. “It’s not over yet, love. We haven’t seen the sunset yet.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He laughed softly. “I haven’t since the beginning.” I glanced into his eyes, and they were shining. He seemed so happy that I’d said that one word, and the thrill in his smile was just…

I didn’t have to pretend I was his fiancé anymore.

That word…yes. That was the word I could definitely picture describing him. Fiancé. That was him right now. I slid my fingers into his hair, the tips drifting along the bottom edge of his fedora. His hands slid to my back, his fingertips moving along my spine, his forehead resting on mine, our gazes locked.

This was surreal. I was going to marry the man that had made the music that had saved me from the worst depression of my life. Maybe it was supposed to be like this. He’d saved me five years ago, when he hadn’t even known I existed, and I was saving him now. Michelle had hurt him- she’d hurt him bad. His heart was so mangled, and his emotions were only steady because I was around. I didn’t want to know what it had been like for him on the tour bus, when in his bunk, without our webcam conversations.

“Brian?”

“Yes, love.”

“You’re amazing.”

He laughed, his hand sliding along my back.. “If you say so.” I raised an eyebrow, and he flashed a short-lived smile. He looked like he was ready to practically explode, but he was containing it well. His eyes were all that seemed beyond his control, but the emotion I saw burning in those chocolate eyes was most likely the best part about him, just ahead of the perfect angles and planes of his strong body. “What do you think we should do until the sun goes down?” he asked, his voice soft, the power of his eyes overwhelming me.

“That depends on what we do after the sun goes down,” I teased, and he chuckled softly, still rubbing my back.

“We celebrate, of course. Now the ways of celebration are totally, y’know, uh, flexible, but I just thought we should have a night together.”

“How long did you spend planning this?”

He cracked another smile. “Not very long. I kept telling myself that I would wait, y’know, until we were both completely ready, but the thing is…I realized at the restaurant that you’re what Michelle wasn’t.” I quirked an eyebrow. “You’re someone I could wake up next to forever.”

How he could love me so intensely after five months still confused me so much, but to waste his amazing heart would truly be a shame, and I loved him…because he wanted to be mine.

“I love you,” he said. He’d said those three words more times tonight than he had any other night, but the situation kind of called for it.

I moved one hand to his face, stroking his cheek with the back of my hand, my fingers curled slightly so that only the bottom knuckles touched his skin.

‘Demolition Lovers’ was over before he spoke again.

“Dance with me?”

I nodded, and he rose, offering me his hand. I shook my head, and he raised an eyebrow. Laughing, I untied his shoe, and he caught the hint. He lifted his foot, and I pulled the shoe off, and then I slid my hands up his leg in order to remove his sock. As soon as he set his foot back down, he lifted the other one, and I did the same thing before I pulled my shoes off as well.

When I was standing in front of him, he stroked my chin before my arms wrapped around his neck and his were around my waist, holding my body close to his. “I can’t believe we’re dancing to Dark Light,” I said with a giggle, and Brian laughed too. “I mean, it’s a great song, but y’know. I’m a sucker for those original pieces.”

He smiled sheepishly. “It wouldn’t fit on the CD.” I smiled up at him. “you sure do know how to do that eye thing, don’t you.” I leaned my head on his chest, closing my eyes and breathing in his scent. He smelled so much like the flowers he’d brought home for me, and I felt like I reeked of some cheap perfume I’d packed last night when we’d gone to fetch my things.

“Brian?” My voice was muffled by his shirt, but he heard me.

“Yes, love?”

“Can we get some more of my things after the sun goes down?”

“Of course, love.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, and I kissed his chest before relaxing against him once more, my eyes closing as Ville Valo’s voice occupied the silence that followed our short agreement. When his voice faded out, Linde’s guitar followed, and Brian moved us back and forth and in small circles, our feet sifting through the sand as we moved.

‘Yesterday’ and ‘Thirty-Three’ passed seamlessly, which meant that we’d spent ten minutes in virtual silence, moving together in a dance almost as flawlessly as we moved together in less platonic situations. By the time I heard Shinedown’s ‘Burning Bright’, the silence had become too much. He’d been too quiet.

Of course, he had his head leaned on mine, and his breathing had evened out. He was just as relaxed as I was. He touched his lips to the top of my head, and then I pulled back, looking up at him. His eyes drifted toward the ocean, and he smiled. “We have got to have the best timing ever,” he said, and I looked over there too.

The sun was just beginning to barely graze the horizon, and the water was a bluish orange beneath its awkward light. When my eyes met his, I laughed. “No. You just have amazing timing. I’m just along for the ride.”

He snickered. “Oh I’ll give you a ride.”

“You better.”

“Come on. Let’s just watch the sunset.” I pulled my arms from around his neck, and we settled back onto the blanket, Brian pulling me to his side and letting me lean against him, his hand finding mine. I was still in a slight state of shock- it was just a little weird for me to realize that not only were we doing the most stereotypical thing ever, but he had just asked me to be his wife, and he was a freaking rock star. “This is beautiful, isn’t it.”

It was only beautiful because someone as gorgeous as him was beside me.

“I only have one more question, though.”

“Yes?”

“How come you decided to wait for me?”

“You really wanna know?”

“Yeah.”

“One, I couldn’t refuse the chance to be the great Brian Haner’s girlfriend. Two, every time you kiss me, chills speed through my spine. Three, you have the warmest heart I’ve ever known. And four…” I blushed a little. “…you just…” His hand gently squeezed mine, “…you make me forget how crappy my life can be.” I felt him touch the ring on my hand- it was a true engagement ring now. “And I knew that if I didn’t tell you what I felt when I was on the tour bus, you’d find a girl that was more confident than me.”

He laughed. “I highly doubt that. Even if you hadn’t asked me to be your boyfriend, I would have searched you out anyway.” I nudged him with my elbow, snorting in disbelief. I didn’t think I was that memorable, but if he did, that was okay. “Even rock stars have hearts.” I knew. I’d experienced the love his could hold for one person.

More time passed, and it was two or three songs later when the sun began to dip below the horizon, the colors of the sky shifting into shades of yellow, orange, and red. Brian held me closer, and I nudged his foot with mine, laying my feet across his ankles. He chuckled, but arched his toes so that they touched the bottom of my feet, rubbing my arm.

For a moment, one of his hands reached to the side, and I heard the button of his boom box click a few times before I heard the song from our first webcam conversation. I didn’t even realize that Brent Smith’s voice was not the only one singing until I looked over at Brian, seeing his lips moving slightly, his lips right where my ear had been. He gave me a small smile, and I put my head back where it had been, letting his voice fill my head.

When the sun finally settled below the horizon, Brian kissed my cheek and then turned my head so that I was looking at him. “It’s twilight,” he said, cracking my favorite smile.

“Don’t go all Edward Cullen on me now,” I pretended to whine, shifting beside him.

He raised an eyebrow. “Who do you want me to be?”

“Be Brian Haner.” He grinned, and then he kissed me. Powerfully. He laid back, and I followed him down, holding his face in my hands, holding my body to his.

We’d seen the sunset. It didn’t matter how long this kiss lasted.