Emerald Eyes

The other end of the line was complete silence. You begin to contemplate if you should have ever opened up your bottled feelings. You think that Mike is going to betray you, and inform the oblivious wife to those eyes that he isn't faithful, and you aren't a good friend.

Instead of words coming out, you sob uncontrollably into the phone. You talk fast and you can't even understand your own self. You tell Mike you didn't know it would turn into something so serious. You never thought the lead singer of a legendary band would be interested in you. If you would have known what a great person Adrienne is and how undeserving she is of this, then you would have never instigated any romantic interest.

You hear Mike sigh into the phone, unable to find words to comfort you. You hear him mumble how could Billie do this multiple times into the receiver. You wonder if you should ask about it, but you decide that there's already enough issues going around to start more up.

You call his name into the phone, making sure he was still on with you and didn't hang up in disbelief.

"I'm still on, Rox," he sighed. You ask him what he's thinking.

You hear the phone give some static, indicating he was shuffling the phone to the other ear. You do the same, realizing your ear is hot from being on one ear too long. You run your fingers through your soft brown hair from the stress this is all causing you. You hate stressing because you begin to grow blonde hair strands, and it makes you more stressed.

"I don't know what exactly I'm thinking about. It's a lot to take in all at once. I don't know why Billie would do this. He has a family, and a wife that adores him. Plus he has his friends too," he trails off after that.

You are instantly confused as to why this has anything to do with the friends of those green eyes. You know it's a problem for his family, but she didn't understand why the friends. You ask him.

Mike coughs forcefully. He is obviously uncomfortable talking about this. "I don't know, Roxana. It's just that," he pauses in an attempt to get his thoughts together in a short period of time, "Billie is like me and Tré's brother. We care about him just as much as Adie and the kids cares about him. And it's just that, if Billie gets hurt in some way, we do too."

You never thought of it that way. You never wanted to hurt so many people, but you are. Even though you know you're affecting his home life, you try not to let it phase you. Because you love him. And you will do anything it takes to stay with him. You believe you've found the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

You've imagine getting married to him. You dreamed of looking deep into those emerald pools and saying "I do". You've pictured what your children would look like. You decided they would all have brown hair, beings as you both do. You hope that they take on the male factor, and are graced with his eyes. You would like at least one child to be blessed with his musical abilities. You visualize your children growing older, and they have their own children, and they grown up. You end your dreams with you both old, but a smile is still plastered on your faces. Because you believe that you both can make a committed relationship.

But, in all those visions you had, there was never an Adrienne; there was never Joe or Jake. Mike and Tré were still around, but the only kids that existed were the ones spawned from you and him. You never thought of until now that there could be a no "us" unless you were the only one his attention was towards. And it was obvious that could never happen. He was happy with her, but he's told you how much he loves you. But, she loves him unconditionally.

And so do you.

Maybe you really are temporary? Maybe he needed something new in his life, and he's going to soon realize Adrienne is the woman for him? Maybe when he gets bored of you, he'll throw you to the side like a broken guitar?

You're nothing but a one-night stand, and everyone's waiting for you to finally realize it. He doesn't love you, he loves Adrienne not you. He has a loving family, a successful career, and a wife that is waiting for his return from work everyday. They have a picture-perfect family, and you're trying to interfere. You don't realize you need to find someone that is dedicated to you and only you. You're nothing but a mistress, and that's you'll ever be to him.

You were in so much heartache from this, you could feel your heart shatter into a million pieces. The wall in your body used to hide as many feelings as it allowed was broken. You broke down and poured you heart out with every tear that fell out of your hazel eyes. You had nothing left in your body to hide. All your feelings were exposed, and you were vulnerable. You were so weak, nothing could hurt you anymore than the pain in your heart was feeling.

Mike's voice was soft when he spoke, "Roxana, don't cry. I know this is a hard spot you're in. But, don't worry. No one will ever know I know. Trust me." He had honesty in his voice, and you knew you could count on him to make sure it got out to no soul.

He stayed on the phone with you as you cried, knowing silence was better than saying anything.

After you got yourself together, you let out a sigh of relief. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. You have found someone you can trust, that you can confide in. But with a gain, came a dilemma.

"Rox," Mike interrupted your thought, "what are you going to do about this?"

You didn't know. You love him, those eyes. But, he loved someone else. Yet he told you he loved you too. You didn't know what to believe. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, but he already had his other half to spend the rest of his life with.

You're nothing but a mistress.

What are you going to do?