Mr Assassin

I woke up in a rather familiar room, facing a ceiling I had come to know oh so well.
The Infirmary.
“Good. You’re awake,” someone mumbled.
I rose slowly and stiffly into a sitting position, to see the person I least wanted to as that moment.
“Whatcha doin’, Boss?”
Of course, he ignored me.
“Ivanov we need you up and ready so your substitute can get back to doing their job.”
“Um. Yessir? Thank you for the concern, sir.”
Boss stood.
“Very good. I hope to see this room vacant in a matter of a few hours.”
“He’s as amicable as ever…” I muttered as the sound of his footsteps echoed into the corridor.

A lady brought in my breakfast a few minutes later and alerted me to my sister’s presence outside my door.
I don’t think I’ll be out by Boss’s specified ‘few hours’… I thought to myself.
“Tell her she can come in,” I breathed dejectedly.
“I’m not deaf, Bastien,” Cassie giggled as she passed the nurse to my bedside. “Thanks for taking care of my brother.”
She flashed the nurse one of her notoriously angelic smiles.
“My pleasure,” the unnamed lady replied warmly, and exited smoothly.
Once her footsteps had faded completely, Cass sighed heavily (runs in the family, much?) and gave me a sweet-smelling hug.
“Careful of the breakfast tray,” I hinted, gesturing to the tray balancing on my lap.
Cassie scoffed and gave me an ‘I’m-an-assassin-you-idiot’ look.
“Dick,” she muttered, and kissed my forehead.
“Eh. You’re just jealous ‘coz I get days off.”
“Pfft. It’s only because you keep getting’ injured, dumby. I’m not that jealous. Oh! By the way, you know the guy who strangled you? Well, he wasn’t one of the examiners. He’s an independent. He was after you for some reason,” she informed me nonchalantly.
“I’m glad to see you’re worried about me.”
“Of course I’m worried. But do you know who was even more worried about you – or pretending to be – is Mina Deane. She was getting all flustered and shit. Just kissing up to you, y’know? She just wants you to go easy on her.”
“The only one I’m likely to play favourites with is you or that Arlen kid.”
She grinned.
“Aww….my little Dumpling made a friend.”
“Meh. Dumpling?”
I shook my head and started plowing into my breakfast.
“Hey! Slow down! You don’t wanna die an early death – not particularly dignified. ‘Death! By breakfast cereal.’ I can see the headlines,” she laughed. “Y’know what was really strange about the incident?”
“Hm?” I looked up from my cereal-like death-trap.
“Ugh. You’ve got milk all over your face.” Cassie leaned over and cleaned my face. “What was odd, was, that Victoria took the guy out. She did the pressure-point thingy on his neck – went down like a lead cookie in a glass of milk. She tied him up herself, too.”
“Lead cookie? Interesting metaphore.”
“Mmm.” She yawned and flopped over my sheet-clad legs.
“Careful!” I yelped, lifting up my tray before she could knock it off with her flailing arms.
Cassie just stuck her tongue out.
So rebellicious.
“So Victoria took him down,” I murmured thoughtfully. “Hm! I didn’t think she had it in her – I mean she looks all soft and delicate. Positively Doll-like. I did not she was capable of that at all.”
“Well, you know, sometimes capable things come in incapable-looking -,”
“-adorable,”
“Packages,” she finished angrily, glaring at me for my constant reminders of her child-like adorableness.
“Meh. You’re just jealous ‘cause I’m ruggedly handsome and you're just adorable. I win, and your jealous.”
“Ungh! Whatever! Don’t make me snap mah fingahs in a Z formation!”
“Please don’t…” I sighed.
“Just eat your friggen eggs,” Cass muttered, and, for emphasis, picked up a forkful of scrambled eggs and shoved it in the general direction of my face. She was just lucky that I skillfully manoeuvred my mouth onto the fork.
“You’re such a dork, Bastien,” Cassie giggled.
“Says the girl who attacks her teacher with scrambled eggs. Who needs guns or knives anymore?! We’ll just use eggs!”
“I hate you.”
“Nope. You love me.”
“Ummm…. Nup. I’m gonna have to go ahead and say that I’ve already started plotting your demise.”
“Cassie Ivanov, although I’ve barely seen you in the last 11 years, I still know you well enough that your plan most likely involves me opening a door rigged to make a bucket of honey fall onto my head, and then to be barraged with pounds and pounds of feathers.”
“…”
I gave her a knowing look.
“…no…that’s not it…” she mumbled, scratching her neck not-so-subtly.
“Oh really?”
“I would use treacle. Honey is sooo 12 years old.”
I just shook my head in disbelief. The sound of running feet silenced our verbal battle over Cassie’s ability (or lack there of) to bring about the demise of my dignity – or what’s left of it, after becoming a teacher. Elliot Kain, followed closely by Molly, burst into the room, panting.
“Mr Ivanov! Mr Ivanov! Boss needs to speak to you!”
“B-but,” I spluttered in incredulity, “He was here only a few seconds ago!”
“I don’t know, but, the alarm went off in the dorm rooms. It was a false alarm, most likely a prank. But, he still needs to see you.”
“And you ran the whole way here?”
“Well…yeah,” he admitted bashfully, “I got a bit excited. I’ve never talked to Boss before just now.”
“He’s no that great,” I murmured, and wrenched off the covers.
“Cass, come with me.”
“Uh, okay.”

A few minutes later I was sitting in a wing chair (in my P.Js) facing Boss like I had so many times before. Except, this time, I had my little angel on my lap. She had wanted her own chair, but Boss refused to relinquish one, claiming that she wasn’t even supposed to be there, though I know that he didn’t have all that much respect for young girls. He believed them to be useless.
“So…what’s up, Boss?”
“You are aware of the recent prank alarm in the senior dorms?”
“Why, yes!” I imitated Boss’s extreme British accent, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or care.
“Good. It seems that the recently apprehended Independent was not in fact independent, rather, a mercenary. His people retrieved him during the chaos of the alarm incident before we could get any more out of the fellow.”
“Did you get an I.D on him?”
“No. I’m afraid not. No one could actually remove his mask. There was some trick to it, but none of our engineers could figure it out,” he mumbled sulkily.
“Why didn’t you just torture the little bugger until he took off the mask and coughed up the name of his employers?” Cassie looked at Boss pointedly.
“Yeah. Why not? It seems like the obvious method, to me anyway.”
Boss glared at Cass a moment before speaking.
“The man was wearing a protective suit – also equipped with no opportunity for removal, less you had prior knowledge of the suit’s mechanics.”
“Was it really that bad?” I queried, eyebrows raised.
“Yes, Ivanov, it was.”
“Why didn’t you just get Heidi to look at it?”
“She was occupied with other assignments.”
“Ah.”
I expected as much. Heidi, known by no other name, was by far the Assassin Company’s greatest asset. She was an expert sniper, an extremely intelligent engineer and spoke more languages than you could poke a stick at. Her skill in Kendo and Aikido was known well throughout the ranks of the Company, as was her beauty – and her status as my girlfriend, if you could honestly refer to someone like her as such.
“Well, if that’s settled, what exactly am I here for?”
“Well, as a teacher, you should be aware of these things.”
“Is that all then?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I have a class to teach.” I hoisted Cassie off my lap and moved to exit the dark office.
“Um. Yes, Bastien, about that…”
“Hm?”
“You class, that is…”
“Don’t tell me you even kicked me out of the teaching division?!”
“No! Well… in a sense. We, the Company, wish to reinstate your position as a field agent.”
I don’t know why, but I was mad.
“No.”
Wait, what? Bad brain! Bad!
“What?” Cassie’s head whipped around.
“I said no. I’m staying as a teacher.”
“But, Bastien, you hate teaching!”
I looked at the floor whilst trying to come up with a reason for my rejection of being reinstated.
“I suppose…I wanna stay and look after Cass?”
“Whaddya mean?”
“I actually don’t know myself… that’s just the logical explanation – the first conclusion I came to.”
“You mean to say that you wish to remain a teacher, but you don’t even know why?” Boss looked bewildered.
“Um…yup. I ‘spose so,” I mumbled.
Bad Bastien! Say you’re sorry and that you’ll take the job! Go on!
“But, Ivanov, we need you on the Independent Case!”
“Lemme get this straight. I finally want to be a teacher, and you don’t want me to. What is up with that?”
“We are finally letting you return to the field and you]/i] don’t want to. What is up with that?!” I stifled a laugh. Those words sounded so wrong coming out of Boss’s mouth.
I sighed heavily.
“Why don’t we discuss this later? I have a class to teach.”
Boss’s bewildered expression returned.
“Very well, then. But I will remain steadfast on this issue,” he warned.
“Sure, sure,” Cassie mumbled, followed up with an angelic giggle.
“Let’s go, sweetie.”
“Mkay!” She danced delicately out the door.
“Ivanov,” Boss murmured, loud enough for only me to hear, “Soyez prudent. Tout peut arriver.”
I paled, and quickly followed Cassie’s lead, out the door, trying to shake the bad feeling before Cassie saw me and got worried.
“Hurry up, Bastien, ya big loser!”
“Uh, yeah. Coming,” I muttered, and jogged half-heartedly towards her. I couldn’t help but place my arm around her protectively.

“Bastien!” Cassie yelled at me the next morning, through the door of my…apartment (I guess you’d call it that…?). “I wanted to have breakfast with you! Jeez for an assassin you’re really dumb. Your door’s unlo-”
Cass stopped dead at the sight of my trashed room. It was something akin to a bomb-site.
“What the hell did you do?! Are you okay? Oh my God,” she screeched.
“I’m fine, Cassie. I was just a little angry last night, and in my blind rage… well…”
She sighed.
“My brother. Great at excuses. I’m so proud.”
“Hell yeah.”

Copyright Lewis 2009 - 2010