Heartaches Grow a Little Bit Stronger

"So ... let me get this straight." Marc said slowly. "Alyssa is going to wait for you until the end of summer, and that's when you're going to talk to Madison about everything?" He asked.

I nodded my head as a confirmation.

Marc tilted his head to the side a bit, and then frowned slightly, giving me a weird look. "Why are you waiting so long to break up with Madison?" He asked. "You said yourself that you don't love her, so why are you prolonging things? Just get them over with, so you can be happy with Alyssa."

"I don't know." I mumbled. "I mean ... breaking up with my fiancé isn't exactly the type of thing I'd want to do over the phone. I want to be home, face to face with her when I do it."

"It will probably be easier to do it over the phone." Marc pointed out. "That way you won't have to stand around, and watch Madison do whatever, or beg you to stay. If she tries that over the phone, you can just hang up on her."

"Marc, I can't just do that." I frowned. "I have to be there." I insisted.

"Why? It's not like you two are staying together; you have your own separate apartments, Kyle." Marc sighed. "Just get it over with, so you can be with Alyssa. Otherwise, if you wait until the end of summer to break up with Madison, you're going to find yourself having a hard time keeping your eyes, hands, and lips off of Alyssa."

"I'll manage." I muttered. "I can wait one more month."

"Sure, sure." Marc sighed before he straightened himself up. Slowly, he climbed to his feet and then stretched slightly, before he turned his gaze back to me. "You seriously think that you can stay away from Alyssa for one month, when you're so close to finally being with her? I mean ... you've liked her ever since her family moved here. Aren't you going to be tempted to, you know, get with her?"

My frown deepening, I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm gonna at least try." I mumbled. "I fucked up before, and that guilt that had come from that has been tearing me up. I know I shouldn't have done it, but, I did, and now that I have, its just been eating at me."

"Wait ... what do you mean you 'fucked up before'?" Marc asked, sitting back down. "Do you mean ... " He trailed off, waiting for my explanation.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. "One night, a couple of days before we left for tour, Alyssa and I got drunk together at her place." I explained. "And ... I woke up in the middle of the night, and made my way into her room, and ... kissed her."

Marc soon added a raised eyebrow to his questioning look. "And how far did you two go?"

"We didn't have sex; we would have if Alyssa didn't come to her senses and stop me." I mumbled. "We made out for a while, and I may or may not have given her a little hickey." I admitted. "When I pulled her shirt off, that's when she fully realized what we were doing, and told me to stop."

Marc let out a low whistle, and then laughed suddenly as if he found the whole situation amusing. "She totally gave you blue balls that night, huh?" He asked with a teasing smile.

Feeling my cheeks start to flush, I muttered a few incoherent words to myself before I answered, "I don't know, I was drunk." I muttered. "I don't really remember too much of anything else, except for making out with her, and staring at her naked top half."

"For you, it probably seemed like the heavens above parted for you as soon as you pulled her shirt off, and finally got to see her boobs." Marc laughed.

"No," I said defensively, "I've seen her boobs before." I added shyly.

"Oh?" Marc asked, raising his eyebrow at me again.

"Well, the first time I saw them, they still weren't quite finished growing." I blushed. "But even so, they were still pretty nice."

"Underdeveloped breasts?" Marc questioned. "What's all this? Did you pay her back in high school or something to flash you?"

"No," I sighed, "Alyssa was my first." I said simply.

"Your first?" Marc asked. "As in, she took your virginity?"

"And I took hers." I said, nodding my head. "Back then, it was just like, a best friend sort of thing. She wanted to know what it was like ... I wanted to know what it was like ... We trusted each other so we decided to give it a shot."

"Wow," my step-brother grinned, "I never knew that you two took one another's virginity. What was it like?"

"You know what its like to have sex." I said, rolling my eyes.

"No, no, I mean ... were either one of you any good at it?" He asked. "Or were you guys just like ... screw it, let's just go for it."

"All in all, it was pretty damn good." I admitted. "Alyssa ... had no problem telling me what worked for her, and what didn't." I recalled.

"Did you get her off on the first try?" Marc grinned.

"Not to brag or anything, but - "

"Marc, Kyle, we're heading out to eat." Alyssa's smooth voice cut through the backroom so suddenly that Marc and I both jumped in surprise.

Our eyes widening slightly, Marc and I turned our gaze from one another and looked to the doorway where Alyssa was standing, her arms folded in front of her chest, while she leaned her shoulder against the doorframe. The bemused look on her face suggested that she had heard a good deal of the part where I had told Marc about losing our virginity to one another.

"Where are we eating?" Marc asked, trying to direct Alyssa's focus from our prior conversation, to something else.

"Denny's." She said simply, gazing at Marc momentarily before she turned her green stare to me.

"Sounds good." Marc said. Glancing back and forth between Alyssa and I, Marc did his best to suppress a bemused smile, and then stood up. Pointing to the door, he said, "I'll see you guys whenever you decide to join us." With that, he exited the room and disappeared into the hallway, leaving Alyssa and me to stare at one another.

Studying me intently, Alyssa suddenly let out a soft laugh, "for the record, Burns, you did not get me off on the first try." She smirked, and then turned around, making a move to follow after Marc, but I stood up and crossed the room, catching her by the hand before she left.

She stopped in her tracks, glanced down at the sight of our intertwined hands, and then looked up at me. "Can I help you, sir?" She asked.

Seeing the joking spark in her eyes, I let a small smile pulled across my lips as I pulled her toward me. Closing the door, I backed her up against it, and her eyes grew wider.

"Kyle William Burns," she whispered hurried as I leaned in toward her, "we made a deal to refrain from things like this." She said, motioning back and forth between us.

"Not even some little kisses?"

"Nope, not even little kisses."

"Just one kiss." I insisted.

When she hesitated, I pouted softly and placed my hands on her hips, slowly moving them around her waist until I was hugging her body to mine.

"Kyle, I know that when you say 'just one' it never stops at just one." Alyssa said. Although her tone of voice was still unsure as to whether or not she should give in to me, her hands had a mind of their own, and slowly began to slide up and around my shoulders.

"Fine," I said, "how about a scaled down make out session?"

"Hmm, if I said no to some little kisses, what do you think I'd say to a make out session?" She asked with a small laugh.

"If you don't give me a kiss, I'm just gonna have to steal one." I said before I leaned over, and pressed my lips to her forehead. "Or two." I added, placing another kiss on her cheek, causing her to giggle cutely, and then hug me tightly.

Sighing softly, her cute smile faded away, and a sense of sadness clouded her bright eyes. "Seriously, Kyle." She said, "we can't run around kissing each other. You still have a fiancé."

"Sweetheart, Madison and I are as good as done. There's nothing else left for us." I mumbled, tightening my arms around her. "I can kiss you, make out with you, and whatever else you'd let me do to you."

"I'd still feel better if we waited until you actually told her." Alyssa whispered.

Biting my lip slightly, Marc's words from earlier sprung back into my mind. He told me that I wouldn't be able to stay away from Alyssa, and I had stubbornly said that I would be able to handle it. Not even five minutes later, my actions and feelings were already contradicting my earlier words.

Looking at the girl before me, though, I simply couldn't help it.

Sighing softly, I reached up, and pushed the stray strands of hair out of her face, tucking them tightly behind her ear. "One kiss," I mumbled, "and we'll see where that takes us."

Alyssa didn't say anything in response, but then again, that tiny sparkle that had reappeared in her eyes said enough for me. Leaning forward, I captured her lips in mine, kissing her deeply. The time that passed all seemed to melt together, and I don't think that either of us was aware of what was happening around us.

After an unknown amount of time, I finally pulled away from Alyssa, leaving her slightly breathless, and leaving my heartbeat erratic. Her arms still wrapped tightly around my shoulders, Alyssa stood on her tip toes and kissed my lips quickly, before she pulled away.

"You don't tell anybody about what happens during this next month, alright?" She mumbled. "It stays between us; it's not for you to go around and share with the guys."

"You said that same thing about us giving up our virginity to one another." I smiled softly. "Look how long I've gone before I mentioned it to anybody. You should be proud of me."

"If you breathe a word of this to anyone, Burns, I'm going to have my brothers kick your ass." She threatened. "I really don't want anyone to find out about this, about me and you running around behind your fiancés back."

"It's only for a month." I reminded her.

Thinking to herself momentarily, Alyssa finally nodded her head slowly. "Okay ... then I take back when I said we can't do ... 'stuff' together. For every 'favor' I do for you, you have to do two for me."

I raised an eyebrow at her proposal. "Two?" I asked.

Alyssa nodded her head and then reached up, kissing my cheek. "I'm a horny girl." She said simply. "I have needs and you're gonna satisfy them for me."

I raised my other eyebrow, and did my best to suppress a smile. I opened my mouth to say something else, but stopped myself short when I heard someone calling us from the front. Sighing softly, Alyssa lowered her arms from my shoulders, and then pulled away from me.

Without another word to me, and looped her index finger though one of my belt loops, and then opened the door, leading me out into the hallway. Following her lead, I couldn't help but wonder whether or not I would be able to pull this off.

Regardless of how confident I felt, though, I had to pull it off; if I didn't, then it's highly probable that I would never have another chance with Alyssa. I couldn't lose her; after all these years, and coming this close, I couldn't lose her.