It's Not the Life It Seems
Chapter Nineteen
Gerard was worried. He was worried about what the interviewer had asked Honey that had made her so mad. He was more worried that the questions had been about him, which was why he was searching the bus looking for the one girl who had the answers. He found her in the mini recording studio with her back against the wall hugging her legs looking extremely thoughtful. She didn’t notice him come in, but merely kept thinking completely lost in thought. Gerard sat down next to her, causing Honey to turn her head and look at him. Honey blushed, feeling ashamed that he had most likely heard the whole thing and how she couldn’t control her feelings or her anger.
Gerard spoke first, “It’s hard sometimes. Everything and anything you do is just scrutinized. The thing is though…you can’t let it get to you. You can’t let it affect you. That stupid woman was just trying to get a story and you certainly gave her that Honey”.
Honey buried her face in her hands, “I have just made everything worse haven’t I? I don’t know Gee, I just…couldn’t take it this time. I used to be able to deal with all the stupid rumors, but not this time. She said so many things that just made me so angry, but I also think that might be because there were some truths in what she was saying”.
“Awe Honey, you let her get to you”, Gerard put an arm around her and lowered his voice to a whisper, “and don’t worry about that Alex, he’ll get what’s coming to him”. Honey hoped what he was saying was true, because no one had made Honey feel dumber in a very long time.
“Maybe I’m losing it. I’ve never been dumped before, certainly not by some pimply faced teenage rock-star, I’ve never lost control in an interview before. Soon, no one is going to want me to perform for them, no one will come to my shows, no one will want me to make another CD and men won’t even find me attractive anymore”, Honey said miserably to Gerard, letting her insecurities show.
Gerard smiled at her, knowing this would never happen, but her telling him all this meant she was human. “Honey, you know that isn’t going to happen. After this show, your going to be more in demand then ever, your fans still adore you so and your going to be the epitome of a pop princess for a long time to come. So what if you got dumped, he isn’t worth your time”, Gerard said, hoping that she would find his words comforting even though he had come out with cliché after cliché.
Honey nodded, “Yeah I know, it’s just scary trying to be so perfect all the time”.
“Well how about to make you feel better, tonight would you like to perform and sing the intro to Welcome to the Black Parade?”
Honey’s face lit up, “Yes!” Her face dropped slightly, “but am I good enough?”
Gerard stood up, “Well you have quite a lovely voice, and I’ll send Ray in to help perfect your piano playing abilities. It’s not that hard to play”.
“I can’t wait. Thank you Gerard” Honey said already imagining herself on stage as Gerard walked out of the room.
“Oh and Honey?” Gerard said turning around, “about the whole men not finding you attractive thing? You’re always going to be the woman every man dreams of fucking. Trust me”. Honey felt her insides go warm as Gerard turned and walked out of the room. She smiled to herself, because quite frankly, she had never felt more beautiful in her life.
Honey was totally pumped. She and Ray had spent an hour in the afternoon making sure Honey could play the small intro in her sleep. Gerard had just finished singing The Sharpest Lives and the audience knew what was coming next as they were singing it in order of the track listing on The Black Parade. Suddenly all the lights on the stage went out and the only sound that could be heard was coming from Honey’s boots as she walked over and positioned herself behind the piano. Honey placed her hands on the piano keys and sounded out the first chords to the song. The audience, upon recognizing the song, screamed out loudly although the stage was still in darkness. A beam of light quickly came down on Honey as she opened her mouth to sing the first lyrics. The crowd knew who it was instantly and screamed even louder.
“When I was a young girl my father took me into the city, to see a marching band” Honey sang as she played the piano rather skillfully as the other instruments came in accordingly with the drums picking up the beat.
“and he said girl when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the dammed? He said He said will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non believers, the plans that they have made? Because one day I leave you, A phantom to lead you in the summer, To join the black parade."
The lights on the stage all came up as the song quickly changed its pace and Gerard began singing, “Sometimes I get the feeling, he’s watching over me”. Honey blew a kiss to the audience as she ran to the side of the stage to watch the rest of the performance. That was seriously cool, she thought to herself, still high of the sensation of being on stage as Gerard turned and winked at her. For the rest of the show Honey danced at the end of the stage with Jamia, who was in a particularly good mood. As they jumped up and down to Famous Last Words Honey felt someone grab her from behind. She turned around to see Christa beaming at her. Honey squealed and grabbed her in a hug.
“I didn’t expect to see you until tomorrow!” Honey exclaimed excitedly.
“Well my plans changed so here I am! Has Ray been behaving himself in my absence?” Christa asked jokingly knowing full well Ray never put a toe out of line.
“Oh yes and don’t worry I haven’t touched him or even looked at him. Although I may have a very large reputation for being a man eater, I have not allowed myself to succumb to your boyfriends natural charms”, Honey replied cheerily.
Christa raised her eyebrows becoming serious. “Yes well its not him I’m actually worried about”, she said staring at Gerard on stage who had just smacked Frank on his ass, causing the crowd to scream with excitement at catching a “Frerard” moment.
“It’s Gerard that has me worried”.
Gerard spoke first, “It’s hard sometimes. Everything and anything you do is just scrutinized. The thing is though…you can’t let it get to you. You can’t let it affect you. That stupid woman was just trying to get a story and you certainly gave her that Honey”.
Honey buried her face in her hands, “I have just made everything worse haven’t I? I don’t know Gee, I just…couldn’t take it this time. I used to be able to deal with all the stupid rumors, but not this time. She said so many things that just made me so angry, but I also think that might be because there were some truths in what she was saying”.
“Awe Honey, you let her get to you”, Gerard put an arm around her and lowered his voice to a whisper, “and don’t worry about that Alex, he’ll get what’s coming to him”. Honey hoped what he was saying was true, because no one had made Honey feel dumber in a very long time.
“Maybe I’m losing it. I’ve never been dumped before, certainly not by some pimply faced teenage rock-star, I’ve never lost control in an interview before. Soon, no one is going to want me to perform for them, no one will come to my shows, no one will want me to make another CD and men won’t even find me attractive anymore”, Honey said miserably to Gerard, letting her insecurities show.
Gerard smiled at her, knowing this would never happen, but her telling him all this meant she was human. “Honey, you know that isn’t going to happen. After this show, your going to be more in demand then ever, your fans still adore you so and your going to be the epitome of a pop princess for a long time to come. So what if you got dumped, he isn’t worth your time”, Gerard said, hoping that she would find his words comforting even though he had come out with cliché after cliché.
Honey nodded, “Yeah I know, it’s just scary trying to be so perfect all the time”.
“Well how about to make you feel better, tonight would you like to perform and sing the intro to Welcome to the Black Parade?”
Honey’s face lit up, “Yes!” Her face dropped slightly, “but am I good enough?”
Gerard stood up, “Well you have quite a lovely voice, and I’ll send Ray in to help perfect your piano playing abilities. It’s not that hard to play”.
“I can’t wait. Thank you Gerard” Honey said already imagining herself on stage as Gerard walked out of the room.
“Oh and Honey?” Gerard said turning around, “about the whole men not finding you attractive thing? You’re always going to be the woman every man dreams of fucking. Trust me”. Honey felt her insides go warm as Gerard turned and walked out of the room. She smiled to herself, because quite frankly, she had never felt more beautiful in her life.
Honey was totally pumped. She and Ray had spent an hour in the afternoon making sure Honey could play the small intro in her sleep. Gerard had just finished singing The Sharpest Lives and the audience knew what was coming next as they were singing it in order of the track listing on The Black Parade. Suddenly all the lights on the stage went out and the only sound that could be heard was coming from Honey’s boots as she walked over and positioned herself behind the piano. Honey placed her hands on the piano keys and sounded out the first chords to the song. The audience, upon recognizing the song, screamed out loudly although the stage was still in darkness. A beam of light quickly came down on Honey as she opened her mouth to sing the first lyrics. The crowd knew who it was instantly and screamed even louder.
“When I was a young girl my father took me into the city, to see a marching band” Honey sang as she played the piano rather skillfully as the other instruments came in accordingly with the drums picking up the beat.
“and he said girl when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the dammed? He said He said will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non believers, the plans that they have made? Because one day I leave you, A phantom to lead you in the summer, To join the black parade."
The lights on the stage all came up as the song quickly changed its pace and Gerard began singing, “Sometimes I get the feeling, he’s watching over me”. Honey blew a kiss to the audience as she ran to the side of the stage to watch the rest of the performance. That was seriously cool, she thought to herself, still high of the sensation of being on stage as Gerard turned and winked at her. For the rest of the show Honey danced at the end of the stage with Jamia, who was in a particularly good mood. As they jumped up and down to Famous Last Words Honey felt someone grab her from behind. She turned around to see Christa beaming at her. Honey squealed and grabbed her in a hug.
“I didn’t expect to see you until tomorrow!” Honey exclaimed excitedly.
“Well my plans changed so here I am! Has Ray been behaving himself in my absence?” Christa asked jokingly knowing full well Ray never put a toe out of line.
“Oh yes and don’t worry I haven’t touched him or even looked at him. Although I may have a very large reputation for being a man eater, I have not allowed myself to succumb to your boyfriends natural charms”, Honey replied cheerily.
Christa raised her eyebrows becoming serious. “Yes well its not him I’m actually worried about”, she said staring at Gerard on stage who had just smacked Frank on his ass, causing the crowd to scream with excitement at catching a “Frerard” moment.
“It’s Gerard that has me worried”.