My Fears Burn While You're Around

"So how's the day been for you so far birthday girl?" Val questioned as she and I sat on a bench beside the large, white mountain that was the Matterhorn. The guys were going on it while we grabbed a snack and then we would join them on it again.

"Holy shit!" We heard Jimmy exclaim from a distance. Both of our heads whipped around to see him in mid air as he tripped over one of the chains that made up the line. His long lanky legs got tangled up as he tumbled to the hard ground. I was willing to bet he was trying to jump over it and misjudged it clearly. It was a very Jimmy thing to do and so it didn’t surprise me in the slightest.

Val covered her mouth while I stifled a laugh. The guys all doubled over in laughter and then Matt was able to compose himself enough to help Jimmy stand up. By then Val and I were laughing almost to the point of tears. Jimmy looked around to see if anyone had noticed, which they had, and then tried to play it off by overdramatically dusting himself off as they went back to walking in line.

"Wow." I said quietly as I looked down at my strawberry churro and took a bite of the crispy treat. "Well then, back to your question. I'm having a great day so far. I'm actually surprised it's only one in the afternoon. I feel like it should be time for dinner already."

"That's what's so great about this place! Time flies but it doesn’t! These churros are the shit by the way. Good choice of snack my dear!" She said as she held her own strawberry churro up for a toast. I chuckled and tapped mine on hers before taking another bite.

I looked back over toward the Matterhorn and heard the guys yelling and screaming as their bobsled train flew by on the track. I nearly choked on my churro as I saw Matt had Johnny in his lap while Zacky was sitting in front of Jimmy and Brian was lucky and got the seat to himself. Those guys were something else but I guess you have to do it since that's the way you have to ride the ride.

"Well hello there." A deep suave voice said to our right. I looked up and into grey eyes that often plagued my dreams at night. I blinked a few times to make sure what I was seeing was real. It couldn’t be.

My churro and it's wrapper tumbled to the ground as I felt the color draining from my body. "Well if it isn't little Celeste. You've grown up quite a bit. But then again it's been awhile since I've had the chance to see and fuck you."

Dave Mitchell was malicious and everyone who knew him knew it. I suppose that's why he used to be one of my father's closest friends. The bastard. That's also why he was always the worst when they came over. I remember crying when my father would mention him coming over because I knew exactly what to expect. Those were often the worst nights because he had so much stamina and was ruthless. He didn’t care how old I was. He only cared that I was someone who could pleasure him.

"Excuse me? Who the fuck are you? You know what? Don't answer that. I don't care who the fuck you are. Back off and leave us alone before I call security." Val exclaimed as she jumped to her feet and stood in front of me. She had obviously pieced together that this man knew me. It was obvious to Val and I could tell her proverbial claws were coming out.

I was devoid of all feelings, words, and color at the moment.

Dave's face just turned into a sadistic grin, the same way it always did when he was presented with a challenge. "Ooo. I like me some blonde bombshells. If I wasn't so fond of Celeste I'd so fuck you long and hard."

Val's face was turning bright red with anger. I had never seen her this angry before but I knew it wasn't going to be good or pretty. I always knew she had a temper when something flared her up. She was usually calm and collected. She had to be with these guys. However if someone got in her way she was the first one to tell them so.

Right before she was set to lash out at him, another deep voice sounded and startled us. This one was more comforting though and my anxiety was starting to melt. "What's going on?" Brian asked as the guys approached us looking extremely confused.

"Nothing." Dave interjected. "Just telling these lovely ladies about how awesome this ride is."

"Bullshit!" Val screamed. "This mother fucker here is clearly one of the men that assaulted Celeste when she was younger. Don't you dare feed them that bullshit you douchebag cock sucker!"

Matt stepped forward with a dangerous glint in his hazel eyes. Zacky took the initiative to sit beside me and wrap his arms around my form which was now shaking uncontrollably.

"So you're one of the fuckers that scarred my girlfriend. If I wasn't standing in the middle of a family park I'd beat you to a bloody fucking pulp." Matt continued to advance on Dave and it was clear this wasn't going to end well. Matt was at least twice his size, figuratively speaking. I really, really didn’t want to get kicked out of the park today though. If it were any other person I would have tried to stop Matt. However, this was Dave, and he deserved every bit he got.

Dave, being the coward he was, launched forward and attempted to punch Matt despite what Matt had just said. What a stupid move.

Within two seconds the guys were all crowded around them as Matt held Dave's wrist tightly in his large hand. "Bad idea fucker." Matt said lowly.

"Excuse me?" An authoritative voice asked frantically. "What's going on here?"

Someone had called an employee to the scene of the encounter. And not just any employee, this guy was high up. You could tell. He had graying hair and was dressed in business attire. He wore black rimmed glasses and looked like he could be someone's grandpa.

"Well sir." Matt started with a mysterious glint in his eyes. "This man here was verbally assaulting these two ladies and when I asked him to back off he went to punch me." Matt continued firmly without missing a beat.

The man looked between the two guys engaged in the confrontation and then looked to Val who was standing, still fuming and tomato red. Finally his gaze landed on me and my shaking form cuddled up next to Zacky. The seriousness in his eyes seemed to become even more intense as he turned back to Dave.

"Judging by how scared this young woman looks I'm going to have to take his word for it." A few security guards were now joining the scene and when the older man gave them a head nod they pulled Dave away from Matt and hoisted him up as they began to carry him away. He went but was yelling profanities at the group of us.

"Nice to see you again Matt." The older man shook Matt's hand as they grinned at each other.

"You too Steve."

I blinked a few times as I realized this man knew Matt and the guys. That was a surprise. "Enjoying your day besides that run in?"

"Sure am. Celeste who was that?" Matt asked suddenly.

"Dave Mitchell." I whispered.

"Steve this is my girlfriend Celeste. It's her twentieth birthday today. And that was one of the men who assaulted her when she was younger."

"Holy crap. No way? Well we'll be sure to restrict him from the park and possibly file attempted assault charges if you'd like since it happened on our property."

"That would be awesome. Thanks Steve."

"No problem Matt. Give the parents my best alright? And happy birthday Celeste." Steve nodded in my direction before pulling a small stack of papers out of his pocket and handing them to Matt. "It's on me." He winked before walking away after the security people.

I let out a sigh and leant my head against Zacky's shoulder. "It's ok babe." He told me before letting his pierced lips fall on the top of my head in a soothing kiss.

Matt turned around and came to sit on the opposite side of me. Zacky relinquished his hold on me and let Matt take over. My convulsions stopped the instant Matt's arms wrapped around me. I was safe now.

"It's ok babe. He's gone. You're going to be alright." He whispered as everyone else continued to stand around us casually now. Well, all except for Jimmy who was yelling at the crowd that had gathered. He was telling them that the show was over and to come back another time when they wanted to see Matt beat the shit out of a guy. He also volunteered Johnny as the punching bag which launched an argument between the two of them.

"I can't believe that was him and that he still remembered me." I said softly against Matt's chest. "It's been about three years."

"I know babe. But he won't be bothering us again. I promise." Matt's hands rubbed my bare arms as he hugged me tightly against his chest. "This isn't going to ruin your birthday for you is it?"

Was I going to let it bother me? Dave is part of my past and is one of the reasons I've had so many problems. However, my past was something I wanted to forget because my present was so much better.

"No. I'm not going to let it. That part of my life is behind me and I'm not going to let it upset me any more. I'm determined not to." I stated at I looked up into his eyes.

Matt let a smile form on his lips as he gave me an adoring look. "That's my girl." He said proudly with adoration very evident in his tone.

Everyone grinned as Matt and I stood. "I can't believe that happened." Johnny said with a shake of his head.

"Me neither dude. I mean what are the odds?" Zacky replied to his friend.

"Do you still feel up to going on the ride?" Matt asked quietly as he hugged me protectively into his side as we walked to the entrance of the line to the Matterhorn.

"Yeah." I nodded as we entered the line and started walking through the chains.

The atmosphere of this ride had me excited. I had pushed the Dave encounter to the back of my mind for the time being but I knew it would come back to haunt me later tonight when I went to bed. That's always when the trouble came.

I heard a deep rumble from within the mountain and then a roar of sorts. My eyes widened as I looked up at Matt. "What was that?" I asked hesitantly.

"It's the abominable snowman who lives in the alps. This ride is like taking a bobsled ride through the mountain. It's pretty fast but you get to sit in my lap." He explained with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

I chuckled and nodded. "Alright."

The music as part of the ride was like a yodeling track of sorts. Whatever it was it was highly amusing to watch the guys try and imitate it. Matt wasn't even going to attempt it because he knew his vocal range. The others though? They were having fun embarrassing themselves.

Jimmy was howling out random pitches as he tried to copy the music. I plugged my ears playfully and wrinkled my nose. He looked over and saw my face. Instantly his vocal chords stopped making the noise but his mouth remained open. "Do you not like my singing Celeste?" He questioned as he placed his hands on his hips and cocked one to the side.

"I don't mind your singing Jimmy." I started. He looked triumphant for a moment. "But your yodeling is atrocious." When I threw that in he looked shocked again and huffed. He sat on one of the rails now as we finally came under the loading platform which was shielded from the sun.

"I still love you though Jimmy." I said as I removed myself from Matt and walked over to give Jimmy a big hug.

He gave an 'aw' sound and squeezed me tightly. One thing I loved about Jimmy was that he was so huggable. He spun me around so I was standing between his legs which were propped up on the middle of the rain he was sitting on. He wrapped his long arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure I can give you your girl back Matt. She gives the best hugs." He said. "And she needs to learn to appreciate my yodeling skills." He added in sneakily before taking in a big breath and beginning to yodel once more. I laughed as Matt pulled me out of his arms so we could move up in line.

"How many in your group?" The girl asked as we neared the loading platform.

"Seven this time around." Matt replied as the two of us stood together. I was in front of Matt and he had his arms wrapped around my waist.

"Alright. You guys will have the entire thing." The girl replied as she waved her hand to row numbers one through four.

"We get the front fuckers." Matt said over his shoulder as we took row number one. In row two were Zacky and Val. Behind them, in the second half of the bobsled, were Brian and Johnny and that left Jimmy to bring up the rear all by himself.

The bobsled pulled up empty and Matt climbed into it first. He patted the empty portion of the seat in front of him and held out his hand to help me in. I sat down on the semi-cushioned seat and got settled between Matt's large thighs. His knees sat up in the air while my legs were only slightly up as they extended under the front of the sled. I grabbed the seat belt that went around the both of us and buckled it before tightening it so it was comfortable.

Matt's hands came around and rested on the inside of my legs. They shortly began to draw small circles around the skin there while we waited to move forward.

The people running the ride made sure everyone was buckled in before giving the signal for us to move forward. I felt the brakes release and slowly we inched forward to the next position in line.

"This is kind of creepy." I stated as we inched forward and were now facing down a black tunnel that led into the mountain. You could hear the so called yeti making noise in the distance.

"Creepy can be good." Matt said with a fake evil laugh.

I let out a small scream as we were launched forward into the black darkness of the mountain. We wound around for a few moments before finally starting to go up.

You could hear the wind howling through the mountain and it really added to the Disney magic behind it.

As we reached the top a pair of red eyes lit up on the left side and a roar sounded. I let out a scream which in turn made everyone laugh and Matt to hug me tighter. It suddenly sped up and wound us around through an ice looking cavern before taking us outside of the mountain before it plunged us right back in.

Val and I both let out large screams as the yeti appeared on one side in full form. My scream ended with a laugh as the guys all roared like the monster did. They all yelled and hollered as we continued to wind around through the mountain. I was enjoying it.

"This is fucking nuts!" Jimmy yelled loudly.

"You say that every damn time we ride this! Shut the hell up!" Johnny laughed in retaliation.

We plunged back inside a dark tunnel only to be confronted by another yeti. I yelled again only for Zacky to yell out behind us. "I'll save you Celeste!" I laughed and continued to grin.

Before I knew it we were back outside and I had a feeling the end of the ride was coming. We dropped down and I spotted water below us. "Oh no!" I yelled and cuddled up into Matt as the bobsleds flew through the water only slightly misting us.

"That was awesome!" Brian yelled.

"How many times would you say you guys have been on this ride?" I asked Matt, surprised that they were this excited over a ride I figured they had been on hundreds of times.

"Too many times to keep track of." He leant down to my ear so he could reply.

"And do they always get this excited over it?"

"Each and every damn time." Matt turned backwards with a grin. We had come to a stop but still had to wait to move forward so we could climb out. I furrowed my brows as all at once they all chimed in. "Remain seated please. Permaneced sentados por favor." I parted my mouth in shock as each word was said exactly in the right tone and all.

"What?" Matt asked seeing my shocked expression. "It's a famous saying! It's even on a No Doubt song! Everyone who grew up in Orange County knows that saying."

My face fell. "Not everyone." I muttered as I looked down to my lap.

"Oh hun I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it like that."

"But it's true."

Matt and I remained quiet as I started to think about how much I had missed out on once again.

The bobsleds pulled up to the unloading zone and I quickly unbuckled the seatbelt and flew out of the sleds. "Celeste!" Matt called after me as I hurried out of the ride and took a right. I honestly had no idea where I was going but I just needed a break.

Matt was right. Everyone knew the phrase. Everyone who grew up in Orange County, let alone any part of southern California came to Disneyland when they were little.

I continued to move quickly until I came across a bench tucked away by the Autopia cars. I flopped down and hid my head in my hands. I had missed out on so much. These guys, and Val, had been coming here since they were little kids. They knew every inch of the park and I'm sure they could recite most of the words from the rides without so much as a second thought!

I felt out of the loop.

Not only was I out of the loop but I was out of the ordinary. I had basically lost my childhood. Nothing fun ever happened to me and it made me question whether or not I deserved to be here at Disney today. My head was spinning.

"Cels?" I heard Matt call out in the near distance. "Celeste?" I didn’t look up but by the tone of his voice I could tell he had spotted me.

"Oh Cels." He said as he sat down beside me. "I'm so sorry I said that."

"Why didn't I ever get to come here Matt? What was so bad about me that my parents couldn’t even bring me here once throughout my life? I don't get it." I said with a shake of my head. We always lived within thirty minutes of the park and not once had I ever been. Why was that?

"It's not you baby. I promise. You never did anything wrong."

"How would you know Matt?"

"I just do. You have too big of a heart to have ever done something wrong. This isn't your fault babe." He explained softly. "You scared me by running away."

"I'm sorry. I just needed to think."

"It's alright hun."

So much for kicking my past out of my life. It haunted me everywhere I went.

As Matt and I walked back to the group who were now in line for the autopia cars I couldn’t help but feel completely out of it. They were all laughing and sharing past memories and I was the only one not saying a word.

I didn't have anything to share though. No past memories, no suggestions on which ride to go on next, no shows I wanted to see because I knew they were so awesome, and no recollection of what to expect.

I was the outsider and suddenly I felt very lost.