Rewind

July 6, 2008

Brendon and I headed back to the apartment in silence. My left hand was held tightly in Brendon's right hand while my right hand was clutching the rectangular card Ryan had handed me. I didn't know if I'd actually call Ryan. I'd have to think about it tomorrow, when my mind isn't as disoriented as it is now.

When we got back to the apartment, he helped me get changed and get into bed. I pulled the blanket up to my chin, feeling suddenly cold. Brendon leaned down to kiss me but I turned my head to the side so that he missed.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked. I felt my eyes watering as I remembered how I had been feeling before Ryan had showed up.

"You didn't come after me," I mumbled. "You didn't even care if I made it home safe."

"Macy," Brendon said softly. I turned to look at him. "That's not true."

"You were mad at me," I said, feeling a tear run down my cheek. Brendon brushed it away.

"I was mad at you," he said. "I just wish that we could've gone out and had a good time, without you getting drunk."

I looked away from him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I felt more tears sliding down my face. I tried to wipe them away, but they were just replace by new ones. Brendon pulled me up gently and hugged me. I cried into his chest. "I'm sorry."

"Shh," said Brendon, rubbing my back. "It's ok."

"I love you Brendon," I said. "I really do."

"I love you too," he whispered. We ended up laying down, Brendon holding me to him, stroking my hair softly. My tears eventually stopped and I felt myself getting tired, and I soon fell asleep.