Confessions of an Innocent House Maid

I wore my favorite blue jeans and a magenta colored top and waited outside for Nicole to show up. I’d told my mom that it had been a while since I had hung out with Nicole so we were going to spend the whole day together. My mom bought it and let me go. When Nicole’s car showed up, I got in, fastened my seat belt and waved good-bye to my mom as Nicole backed out of my driveway.

“So, where are we going?” I asked.

Nicole drove around the corner of our street and put the car in park. I looked around in confusion then asked, “What’s the matter? Why’d we stop?”

Nicole took off her seatbelt, reached into her bad and handed me a folded piece of paper. When I asked what it was, she just said, ‘read it’ and pushed it forward. I took the paper from her and read it. It was a letter addressed to my parents stating that I had to take college prep courses before I started college. The classes would be three times a week from 9am to 6pm. They were mandatory and therefore attendance was a must. On the bottom was a signature from the board of admissions at NYU.

I looked over at Nicole. I had a bunch of questions running through my mind but had no idea where to start. Luckily she spoke up first.

“So? What do you think?”

“Did… did you make this?” I asked in shock.

“Yeah. Pretty good, huh?”

“How did you… you know what? I don’t even want to know.”

“Don’t worry about that. This way you can go to work with no problems what-so-ever.”

I looked down at my paper then back at Nicole, “9am to 6pm?”

“Incase we get long hours” she said reasonably.

“Nicole, we haven’t even gotten the job yet.”

“Listen. You leave that to me, ok?” She said. “Meanwhile, tell your parents that I’m taking the same classes so I’ll drive you. If it becomes a problem, let me know and I’ll talk to them.”

I thought it over then nodded and put the letter away. Seeing that I was ready to go, Nicole buckled her seatbelt, put the car in drive and went on her way. In about twenty minutes, we had finally arrived.

Nicole parked in the pretty-much-empty parking lot and we both got out of the car. The place was called Harper’s Home Maids and their motto was ‘If you got a house, we can clean it. Guaranteed.’ The place looked so retarded but, at this point, as long as it paid well, I really didn’t care.

We went inside to the front desk and told the lady we wanted to apply for jobs. She gave us a sheet asking how we heard about them and so on. After about five minutes we were called inside to speak to this really old lady named Mary.

Mary was apparently our manager, well if we got the job that is. She wore glasses, had short black hair tied back on a low pony tail and wrinkles all over her face. They weren’t too noticeable unless you got really close but still, it was kind of hard not to stare. Especially when she had like a million different make up products on her face for who knows what reason.

“So what are your names” she asked without even looking at us.

“Um, my name is Nicole Schneider and this is Jessica Stellar” Nicole replied hesitantly.

“What are your ages?” Mary asked still giving her full attention to the papers on her desk.

Nicole and I looked at each other then I replied, ‘I’m seventeen’ and Nicole raised a hand and said ‘eighteen’ as to say that she was of that age.

Mary finally looked up, examining us from over the rim of her glasses. I don’t know about Nicole but I knew right then and there that if things continued to go the way they were going, then there was no way we were going to get this job.

Before Mary could ask any more questions, there was a knock on the door and the secretary from the front desk came in. Apparently there was a phone call for Mary and it was important because Mary got up, gave us a look as to say ‘don’t you dare move’ and then followed the secretary out of the room.

“Someone hasn’t gotten laid in a year.” Nicole blurted out as soon as the door shut.

“Nicole, stop it. I told you we weren’t going to get this job.”

“Oh, stop being to negative.”

“Listen, all I’m saying is that this really isn’t looking too good” I said. “Did you see the way she looked at us after we told her our ages? I really don’t think she’s going to let us get this job Nicole. I’m just saying.”

Right then, Mary opened the door, walked over to her desk and, without a word, sat down. For two whole minutes Nicole and I just stared at each other, waiting for the old hag to say something while she just wrote stuff down. Finally, she looked up from her papers, gave us a big fake smile and said, “You girls got the job!”

Nicole and I just looked at each other in shock. “What?”

“Yup.” She said. “Just leave your name and number and we’ll let you know when your first class will be.”

“Wait, what class?” asked Nicole.

“Well you guys have to go through training first, don’t you?” the way she smiled made my skin crawl. “Plus, we have to measure you girls for uniforms and everything too.”

I looked over at Nicole and saw that she was trying to hold back from laughing in our future boss’s face. I knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it in much longer so I quickly wrote down Nicole’s information, grabbed her hand and after saying good bye, ran both of us out of there.

Once we were safely outside, Nicole started to burst out in laughter. “Oh my god. Did you see her face? And that smile? She looked like she was constipated or something!”

I got into the car and motioned for her to do the same. “Yeah I saw it. I don’t get it though. I mean, why would she hire us if it bothered her so much?”

“I don’t know, maybe it had something to do with the phone call she mysteriously got right before she hired us.” Nicole said trying to keep a straight face.

“Yeah it was probably some dude with a threat. ‘hire those girls or else’” I said joking back.

“Whatever. Point is, we got the job Jess.” Nicole started the car and slowly drove out. “So let’s celebrate.”

“Sure. What should we do?”

“How about popcorn, soda, lots of junk food, and to top it all off, some late night horror movies.”

I just laughed and agreed.