And I Just Hope You Know...

“Gerard would you like to come up and say a few words?” The priest asked me on this sad occasion.

I nodded and was about to get up when Mikey gave me a reassuring hug, as well as Bob and Ray. My Frankie……why my Frankie……

I silently cried into their shoulders, then broke away from them to take my place on the podium.

I stood there and gathered my thoughts, then remembered that horrible, but yet such an inspirational night for me.

Two weeks ago.

We were all performing on stage except for one member, Frank. Frank was in the hospital, his cancer was getting worst. We insisted to postpone the tour, but Frank said he didn’t want to disappoint the fans, please go on.

My mind was off in another world as I preformed on stage, was my Frankie all right? Performing was just not the same with out him, and I noticed that in the fans as well. I could see the misery on their faces when we said that Frank wouldn’t be with us tonight from his condition. Yep, the fans knew, we can’t keep anything from them, we love them too much.

I was getting ready to sing the last song of the night, which is a very emotional song for me, Cancer. I wrote it for Frankie after we heard that he had this horrible life taking disease. This is his favorite song, and I know he wants me to sing my best every time I sang it, well I wont let him down tonight.

The rest of the guys went off the stage and Ray started playing the first chords.

Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my Aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors
My sisters and my brothers still
I will not kiss you
Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

I then heard a crash from backstage, and a “No! He can’t be!” It sounded like Mikey. Oh God, please don’t let it be what I think it is….

I continued singing since no one came to get me or anything, maybe its not what I think.

Now turn away,
Cause I’m awful just to see
Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body
Oh my agony

Just then I was knocked on the side from Mikey crashing into me.

“He’s g-gone G-Gee! He’s g-gone!” Mikey sobbed into my shoulder, what he had said echoed into the mic, the fans were silent. Oh God please no….

“M-Mikey, what’s wr-“

“Frankie’s gone Gee! He’s g-gone!”

No….

The fans in the audience definitely heard this, some started bursting into tears, others hugged the person nearest to them, whether they were a stranger or not. I saw some fall to the ground with this overwhelming shock.

“No….NO HE’S NOT GONE!” Suddenly a feeling of weakness and helplessness came over me. I fell to the ground in front of our loving caring fans and sobbed into my knees, and to my surprise I blacked out.

I woke up to this room of darkness it was pitch black. But I could only see one thing….

Frankie?

Frank was there, he was looking down at me then kneeled down so he was level with me.

“Gee?” he looked at me with so much love that I burst into tears.

“Are y-you really…” I asked

“Yeah I am dead Gee.” He frowned but still look at me with pure love.

“Am I?” I asked, I wasn’t really sure at the moment.

“No, but I really need to tell you something.” He smiled at me then leaned forward and kissed me. I felt so much passion, lust, love, and care into that kiss. I kissed him back with as much feeling as I could muster.

He broke the kiss then hugged me, “Gee, even though I’m gone I want you to keep the band going, you can do that for me right?” He softly whispered in my ear.

I just nodded.

“I just want to let you know Gee, you did save my life and made me the most happiest man alive, if it wasn’t for this band and for you, I would have been gone a long time ago.”

“I love you Frankie.” I sobbed out.

“Gee please don’t cry.” He brushed away my tears with his thumbs, “I love you too.” I could see tears in his eyes as well.

I brought my hands to him and caressed his face, wiping away his tears as he did with mine. He leaned into my touch.

“It’s time for you to go back Gerard, you need to finish the song alright?” he smiled.

I nodded again and hugged my Frankie to me tightly for the last time.

“I love you so much Frankie, why did you have to go?” I shuttered.

“It was just my time to go Gerard. Just remember when you need me I will always be there for you. I love you no matter what you do for the rest of your life, just please keep the band going for me.”

“Of course Frankie.” I whispered then gave him the most passionate kiss that I could ever give, and he kissed back.

“You really need to go back Gerard, your starting to worry everyone.” He giggled.

“Ok, I’ll always love you.” I smiled up at him.

“And I will always love you, now go back and finish that song or I will come and beat your ass down!”

Then I went back to unconsciousness.

“Gerard! Gerard wake up!” Screamed a frantic Mikey.

I slowly opened my eyes and I was still on the stage in front of thousands of fans.

“How long have I been out?” I asked, my throat dry.

“For about five minutes.” Mikey was still crying.

I got up with help from Mikey and Bob.

“Give me the mic please.” I asked.

Mikey gave me a wondering look but still went and got it for me.

I grabbed it from him then started to talk.

“I need to finish the song for all of you, and for Frank, its what he would want, I know it's what he wants.” I motioned to Ray to start from where we left off.

Know that I will never marry
Baby I’m just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just aint living
And I just hope you know...

Tears were coming down my cheeks now. All of the band members gathered around me and began to sing along, the fans sang along too.

That if you say (If you say)
Goodbye today (Goodbye today)
I’d ask you to be true (Cause I ask you to be true)

‘Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
‘Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you….

“You will be missed Frank Iero.” I cried into the mic when I was finished.

The fans cheered the loudest I have ever heard them cheered.

Present Day

I told everyone what happened to me as I was unconscious on the stage that night, a kind silence lingered in the air, but it fit with the setting and time, it felt comforting.

“Frank Iero’s memory will carry on, and be remembered by all that loved him. The band will continue on, I’ll make sure of it. It will be hard but we have to.” I looked down at the coffin that had Frank’s beautiful body lying in it, “I love you Frankie.” I sobbed.

After a few more speeches from members of Franks family; Mikey, Ray, Bob, Mr. Iero, Frank’s grandfather, and I carried the coffin to the car where it will take Frank to his final resting place.

Three Months Later

Tonight was our first concert without Frank, we found a replacement for him, but of course it will never be the same.

I sang with so much energy like my wild old self, because I knew he was watching from where ever he was.

It was time to sing Cancer, I looked out to the audience and noticed some fans had made some shirts that said “In Loving Memory of Frank Anthony Iero” with a picture of Frank on it. It brought tears to my eyes knowing how much they cared.

“As most of you know, we lost one of our guitarist a few months ago, this song is just for him. So I want you to sing along the loudest I have ever heard you sing! Got It?” My answer was a loud cheer. “We love you Frankie, this is for you!” I yelled as the music began.