Status: complete :)
Set on False Pretense
10
The next two weeks went by quickly and I was aware that the football championship match was only a week away. It was also valentines days tomorrow, Friday. I had made painting for Will and I was slightly nervous to give it to him. Anyway, I got to school and went straight to my locker and got my books for my lessons. I glanced around for Will and realised several people were watching me. I frowned slightly but then shrugged it off. I went into my English lesson, which I had with Will – and Max. I sat at my usual seat and watched Will come in. He grinned at me and I grinned back, unable to hold in my feelings anymore.
Max came in then and sat next to me. He didn't say anything to me, which I found odd, but I wasn't complaining. I could feel Will's eyes burning into my from behind and I turned slightly and realised that almost everyone in the room was looking at me. I frowned and turned back to look at my books on the desk in front of me. What was going on? Once the teacher came in, I asked her if I could quickly go to the bathroom. "Why didn't you go before the lesson?" she asked, annoyed and I shrugged.
"I didn't have time," I said. "I was late to school." She sighed and nodded and waved me off. I quickly left the room, aware that it wasn't only Will who was watching me leave.
I almost ran to the bathroom, paranoid that there was something wrong with me. I looked into the mirror but I looked fine. I splashed cold water on my face and looked into the mirror again as the water trickled back down into the sink. Maybe they weren’t all looking at me, maybe I was just getting paranoid that everyone had found out my secret...
I slowly made my way back to the classroom and didn't look up as I walked back to my seat, scared that the whole class would be staring at me. I wanted to look at Will, to see his reassuring smile, but I couldn’t. The lesson passed slowly and all I really wanted to do was go and sit with Will and let him hold me and comfort me. The bell went and the class started talking louder and more animatedly than they normally would but I didn't listen to them and just walked quickly out of the room.
I went to my locker again and put my English books back in there. I looked inside for a second and frowned. It seemed out of balance...like something was missing...but I couldn’t figure out what I was that was missing. I bit my lip as I tried to figure it out, but nothing came to me. I sighed and made my way to the music room where Will and I went in all of our free periods. He was already in there and smiled warmly at me as I entered and I immediately felt all my problems melt away. I sat next to him and kissed him tenderly. "What are you playing?" I asked. He had a school guitar in his lap as usual and was fiddling with the chords.
"I don’t know yet," he smiled. I smiled back and moved more onto the desk and crossed my legs.
"Hey, Will...have you noticed...um..." I trailed off, unsure how to finished.
"What?" he asked, frowning with worry.
"Everyone keeps watching me..." I said and realised how paranoid I sounded.
"What?" he asked again, but this time with confusion.
"I think...well...wherever I go people are looking at me..." I said and wished I hadn’t brought it up because I sounded insane. I sighed and looked away from Will and across the room and out of the window. I felt his warm hand on my cheek, turning me back to face him.
"I'm sure you're imagining it," he said softly and moved his thumb back and forth over my cheek under my eye. "Maybe its your subconscious telling you that you're nearly ready to tell everyone..."
I didn't reply. I didn't think I was imagining it...but then Max hadn’t said anything in English and that's the sort of thing he would comment on... "Maybe you're right," I said softly and he smiled. I still wasn't sure that I was completely ready to tell everyone but I knew I was more ready now that I had been just a month ago, before I had Will by my side.
We stayed in the music room for the next hour and a half and then we went to our next lessons. I didn't see Will the rest of the day and then after school I had football practise. I desperately wished I could skip it to spend time with Will but the game was only in a week and I knew we had to go over some drills. I got to the changing rooms to see my team congregated outside the door. "Hey guys, what's going on?" I asked them, thinking we weren’t allowed in yet. Max turned to me, a look in his eyes that I had never seen on him or anyone else before.
"We don’t want you changing in there," he said and I frowned in disbelief.
"What? Why not?" I asked them, shocked. I now realised all of them were glaring at me, hate and disgust in their eyes. Oh, God.
"We are not comfortable with the idea of having a fag changing in the same room as us," Max spat and my heart froze. "We think you'll be more comfortable in the girls changing room." I didn't say anything, just glared at them. "Go, run along to Will," he spat and then they all turned and went into the changing room.
I just stood there frozen. How could this have happened? How could they have found out? The only person who could have said anything was Will. But he wouldn’t...would he? I mean, I know he wanted me to come out so we could be together properly...but he wouldn’t do this to me. I couldn’t believe he would do this to me. How could he?
I turned and angrily stalked towards the music room but it was empty. I went to the car park but his car wasn't there. I'll see him tomorrow. I can't believe he did this to me. I thought he loved me? I thought he felt the same about me as I felt about him. How could he have done this? Tears pricked in my eyes and I gritted my teeth to stop myself from breaking down. I looked to my left and saw my team practising on the pitch. That's where I should be. I don’t belong with Will anymore...not after he did this.
I drove home quickly and stormed in my front door. My dad was standing there fuming. I turned to him and realised he had found out as well. "Max phoned earlier," he growled and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "How can you be gay?" he cried, almost sounding in despair.
"I didn't choose to be gay!" I shouted back. "It's who I am!" Mum came in from the kitchen and quickly went and stood next to my dad and held onto his arm. I saw dad clench his jaw and realised he was trying very hard to control his anger. I looked at my mum and she was smiling at me slightly. I smiled back, realising that she didn't seem shocked.
"Go to your room," dad spat and then turned and went into the living room. I stood there motionless. I don’t know what I had been expecting, but I had expected him to be angrier than this.
"Sweetie, where's Will?" she asked and I felt my hands clench.
"I don’t care," I said. "I never want to see him again."
"What?" she asked, confused.
"He betrayed me," I spat. "I hate him." Mum's mouth opened in shock as she realised what I was talking about and then I ran passed her up the stairs.
I slammed my door and went and lay on my bed, face down. How could Will have done this? I squeezed my eyes shut but my tears still escaped and trickled down my cheeks. About an hour later there was a timid knock on my door and both of my parents entered. I sat up and mum's face crumpled and she came and sat next to me and held me tightly. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks and she tried to sooth me. I hated thinking that the only person who had ever been able to calm me down successfully was Will. I had to get rid of all my tender thoughts towards him. I pulled away from mum eventually and dad sat on my other side.
I wasn't ashamed of who I was, but I was scared of dad's reaction. "You know I love you, son, right?" he said and I felt relief lift off me like a ton of bricks.
"I love you, too, dad," I said and he hugged me tightly. I pulled back and rubbed at my eyes.
"So, now we've got to try to get those stupid friends of yours to let you back on the team," he said and I nodded slightly.
"But do you-" mum started but I cut her off.
"That's where I belong, mum," I said.
"But Will..." she whispered and I felt dad tense slightly as he realised I had a boyfriend...or...ex.
"I'm playing football and then going to Loughborough," I said, I had made my mind up.
Max came in then and sat next to me. He didn't say anything to me, which I found odd, but I wasn't complaining. I could feel Will's eyes burning into my from behind and I turned slightly and realised that almost everyone in the room was looking at me. I frowned and turned back to look at my books on the desk in front of me. What was going on? Once the teacher came in, I asked her if I could quickly go to the bathroom. "Why didn't you go before the lesson?" she asked, annoyed and I shrugged.
"I didn't have time," I said. "I was late to school." She sighed and nodded and waved me off. I quickly left the room, aware that it wasn't only Will who was watching me leave.
I almost ran to the bathroom, paranoid that there was something wrong with me. I looked into the mirror but I looked fine. I splashed cold water on my face and looked into the mirror again as the water trickled back down into the sink. Maybe they weren’t all looking at me, maybe I was just getting paranoid that everyone had found out my secret...
I slowly made my way back to the classroom and didn't look up as I walked back to my seat, scared that the whole class would be staring at me. I wanted to look at Will, to see his reassuring smile, but I couldn’t. The lesson passed slowly and all I really wanted to do was go and sit with Will and let him hold me and comfort me. The bell went and the class started talking louder and more animatedly than they normally would but I didn't listen to them and just walked quickly out of the room.
I went to my locker again and put my English books back in there. I looked inside for a second and frowned. It seemed out of balance...like something was missing...but I couldn’t figure out what I was that was missing. I bit my lip as I tried to figure it out, but nothing came to me. I sighed and made my way to the music room where Will and I went in all of our free periods. He was already in there and smiled warmly at me as I entered and I immediately felt all my problems melt away. I sat next to him and kissed him tenderly. "What are you playing?" I asked. He had a school guitar in his lap as usual and was fiddling with the chords.
"I don’t know yet," he smiled. I smiled back and moved more onto the desk and crossed my legs.
"Hey, Will...have you noticed...um..." I trailed off, unsure how to finished.
"What?" he asked, frowning with worry.
"Everyone keeps watching me..." I said and realised how paranoid I sounded.
"What?" he asked again, but this time with confusion.
"I think...well...wherever I go people are looking at me..." I said and wished I hadn’t brought it up because I sounded insane. I sighed and looked away from Will and across the room and out of the window. I felt his warm hand on my cheek, turning me back to face him.
"I'm sure you're imagining it," he said softly and moved his thumb back and forth over my cheek under my eye. "Maybe its your subconscious telling you that you're nearly ready to tell everyone..."
I didn't reply. I didn't think I was imagining it...but then Max hadn’t said anything in English and that's the sort of thing he would comment on... "Maybe you're right," I said softly and he smiled. I still wasn't sure that I was completely ready to tell everyone but I knew I was more ready now that I had been just a month ago, before I had Will by my side.
We stayed in the music room for the next hour and a half and then we went to our next lessons. I didn't see Will the rest of the day and then after school I had football practise. I desperately wished I could skip it to spend time with Will but the game was only in a week and I knew we had to go over some drills. I got to the changing rooms to see my team congregated outside the door. "Hey guys, what's going on?" I asked them, thinking we weren’t allowed in yet. Max turned to me, a look in his eyes that I had never seen on him or anyone else before.
"We don’t want you changing in there," he said and I frowned in disbelief.
"What? Why not?" I asked them, shocked. I now realised all of them were glaring at me, hate and disgust in their eyes. Oh, God.
"We are not comfortable with the idea of having a fag changing in the same room as us," Max spat and my heart froze. "We think you'll be more comfortable in the girls changing room." I didn't say anything, just glared at them. "Go, run along to Will," he spat and then they all turned and went into the changing room.
I just stood there frozen. How could this have happened? How could they have found out? The only person who could have said anything was Will. But he wouldn’t...would he? I mean, I know he wanted me to come out so we could be together properly...but he wouldn’t do this to me. I couldn’t believe he would do this to me. How could he?
I turned and angrily stalked towards the music room but it was empty. I went to the car park but his car wasn't there. I'll see him tomorrow. I can't believe he did this to me. I thought he loved me? I thought he felt the same about me as I felt about him. How could he have done this? Tears pricked in my eyes and I gritted my teeth to stop myself from breaking down. I looked to my left and saw my team practising on the pitch. That's where I should be. I don’t belong with Will anymore...not after he did this.
I drove home quickly and stormed in my front door. My dad was standing there fuming. I turned to him and realised he had found out as well. "Max phoned earlier," he growled and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "How can you be gay?" he cried, almost sounding in despair.
"I didn't choose to be gay!" I shouted back. "It's who I am!" Mum came in from the kitchen and quickly went and stood next to my dad and held onto his arm. I saw dad clench his jaw and realised he was trying very hard to control his anger. I looked at my mum and she was smiling at me slightly. I smiled back, realising that she didn't seem shocked.
"Go to your room," dad spat and then turned and went into the living room. I stood there motionless. I don’t know what I had been expecting, but I had expected him to be angrier than this.
"Sweetie, where's Will?" she asked and I felt my hands clench.
"I don’t care," I said. "I never want to see him again."
"What?" she asked, confused.
"He betrayed me," I spat. "I hate him." Mum's mouth opened in shock as she realised what I was talking about and then I ran passed her up the stairs.
I slammed my door and went and lay on my bed, face down. How could Will have done this? I squeezed my eyes shut but my tears still escaped and trickled down my cheeks. About an hour later there was a timid knock on my door and both of my parents entered. I sat up and mum's face crumpled and she came and sat next to me and held me tightly. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks and she tried to sooth me. I hated thinking that the only person who had ever been able to calm me down successfully was Will. I had to get rid of all my tender thoughts towards him. I pulled away from mum eventually and dad sat on my other side.
I wasn't ashamed of who I was, but I was scared of dad's reaction. "You know I love you, son, right?" he said and I felt relief lift off me like a ton of bricks.
"I love you, too, dad," I said and he hugged me tightly. I pulled back and rubbed at my eyes.
"So, now we've got to try to get those stupid friends of yours to let you back on the team," he said and I nodded slightly.
"But do you-" mum started but I cut her off.
"That's where I belong, mum," I said.
"But Will..." she whispered and I felt dad tense slightly as he realised I had a boyfriend...or...ex.
"I'm playing football and then going to Loughborough," I said, I had made my mind up.
♠ ♠ ♠
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