You're a Classic Like a Little Black Dress

“New York City!” Brendon boomed in an announcer-like voice as we entered the terminal at JFK.

“Let me just ring Pete, see where he wants to meet,” Spencer said before sliding his phone out of his pocket and wandering off to a quieter spot.

“I’m gonna go look at the magazines,” Brendon said wandering off in the direction of Borders. As if out of nowhere, Zack, Panic’s security guard and long time friend appeared in front of me.

“Hey Zack!” I said, pulling him into a hug.

“Hey Jess, where’s Brendon going?” he spoke pointing a Brendon, who I could only make out due to the red hoodie he was wearing.

“He gone to look at some magazines in Borders,” I informed him.

“Well, I better go with him and make sure no fans come and steal all his clothes.” Zack said with a humorous sigh before following Brendon in the direction of the store. I smiled; Zack was truly loyal to the guys and was awesome at his job.

As per usual, Ryan was slightly quiet, drinking in his surroundings. His eyes surveyed the large room that was terminal, the look they conveyed holding a certain hint of judgement. He was the quietest member of the band, but he spoke volumes through his lyrics, even though half of the time I didn’t have a clue what they meant – the ones that I did understand stood out to me and I could relate to them.

I slowly closed the gap between us, as I stood next to him, I let me head drop and rest on his shoulder. He tensed, so I spoke quietly, “it’s only me Ryan, don’t worry.” The words seem to have an effect on him, because slowly he relaxed and after a couple of minutes, he even reached over and slung his arms around my shoulders.

I smiled in quiet triumph, I felt as though I’d broken a barrier. Even though I’d known Ryan for a long time, he never seemed quite comfortable in my presence and I never understood why. But I hoped, that our little moment had broken down the barrier between us, even if only partially.

Spencer bounded over and said “Pete and the guys are already at the Nokia Theatre.”

We all got together and hailed a cab which took us to the venue. As we got closer, the nerves began to kick in, my breathing got heavier, my palms got sweaty, and my knees got weak. I so thankful I was sitting, because I was sure if I was standing I would’ve collapsed.

To take my mind off of what was coming, I asked why the first venue was so small. Having been to concerts many times at the Nokia Theatre, I knew that the capacity was only 2,100.

3) I Got a Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

The guys informed me that it was a special show, one that fans had to enter a variety of competitions for. Through Friends or Enemies, Twitter, Tumblr and a number of other sites fans had to complete various tasks, such as taking pictures of themselves wearing as much Fall out Boy/Panic at the Disco merchandise as they could or another was to make a video for a remix of America’s Suitehearts that Patrick had done.

And for the bigger competitions, the boys themselves picked the winners and those winners got to go to a special meet and greet before the show.

I was surprised at how much effort went into that show. Sure, the guys could’ve just put the tickets on sale and their fans would’ve snapped them up – no problem. But they thought of a creative, more entertaining way for fans to win tickets. I loved the fact that they were very interactive with their fans; it makes it so obvious as to why they have such loyal fan bases.

About 20 minutes later, we pulled up outside the venue. We grabbed out suitcases and made our way round the back. There were three buses and two of them had the labels ‘FALL OUT BOY’ on them and the third had a piece of paper taped to the door emblazoned with ‘PANIC AT THE DISCO’. We took the initiative and put our stuff on the bus, before going inside the venue.

I already had a fairly good idea of the layout of the building so I went straight to the backstage area. The boys were whisked off by Dan Suh to go and do some interviews. Even though Dan was Fall Out Boy’s manager, he was managing Panic this time as well, because he knew both of the bands very well and said he didn’t mind taking care of both bands.

Seeing as I wasn’t an official member of the band, I was just classed as a ‘touring member’, so I was rarely ever needed for interviews. I wandered around backstage, without the fear of bumping into Patrick, because I knew that all of Fall Out Boy were in interviews too.

I had some time to gather my thoughts and to think about what I was going to do when I saw him again. My initial thought was: avoid him. But then I realised that would be very, very hard and almost impossible to actually do. Then I thought to ignore him whenever we were in the same room, now that one would’ve been much easier, however, it would be a very childish thing to do. So, I decided to be civil towards him, I wasn’t going to be nice, but I was going to be polite when I had to be.

Trying to kill time, I went to the stage. The crew had arrived much earlier than the bands so they could set up the stage. Because it was the first show of the tour, the bands had twice as long to do sound check, just to make sure everything was up to scratch and they had their set list down.

As I got onto the stage, I noticed that my piano was already set up. It was calling out to me, begging me to go and play it. I couldn’t resist, so I went up to it and sat down behind the instrument and fitting the occasion, I began to play.

4) Sugar we’re Going Down [Piano Cover] - Fall Out Boy

As per usual, I got lost in the music, letting my fingers do the work, my brain was somewhere else. It was great to get that release, at home I hadn’t had the chance to go out and shop for a good piano to have, so it felt like all of my tension was flowing out of me.

“You must be Jess?” I heard a kind of familiar voice say.

As I played the last note, I turned my head slowly. I smiled when I saw Pete Wentz standing behind me. Even though I’d been with Panic for three years, I’d never met Pete Wentz because Panic and Fall Out Boy hadn’t toured together before then.

I held my hand out for him to shake, “Yeah, I am Jess.”

“I’m Pete Wentz,” he smiled that very famous smile.

I blushed as I said, “I know, I know.”

“You were brilliant,” he said, nodding towards the piano.

“Oh thank you, are the rest of the band coming now for sound check? I don’t want to get in the way.” I smiled, partially telling the truth, partially not wanting to bump into Patrick.

“Yeah, they should be here in a second.” He answered.

“Oh okay then, I’ll get out of your hair.” I began to make my way off the stage.

“No, wait!” he called out to me. “Why don’t you watch us?”

His smile was so happy and genuine, I could hardly say no. With a sigh, I said “okay then.” Before sitting on top of one of the amp that was more toward the back of the stage.

One by one the rest of the band came, Joe was first, he was very nice and funny, Andy was second, he was quieter, but he seemed really nice too. Patrick was last, and he when he noticed me sitting there, his face drained of all its colour. I guess no one told him I was going to be there.

“Patrick, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Pete exclaimed, ushering him onto the stage toward me. “This is Jess. Jess, this is Patrick.” I shook his hand gently, trying not to make eye contact with him.

He walked away, and picked up his guitar, when he began singing, I couldn’t help but smile, his voice was still amazing as it was in high school.

But there was something different this time, I still couldn’t forgive him…as much as I wanted to.