Skin and Bones

At lunch I’m not hungry. I ate a piece of dry toast this morning. I can still taste the burned bread on the back of my tongue.

“Hey, Frank!” I flinch, but relax when I see Mikey’s kind eyes and half-ass smile. I smile back – weakly.
We walk towards the cafeteria.
“So why didn’t you answer your phone this morning? Gerard and I tried calling you.” Okay, remember my excuse. Just remember it!
Broken!

“My phone broke last night.” Lie. Huge lie. But better than the truth.

“Oh. Sucks.” We walk into the cafeteria and go straight for the lunch line.
“Gerard would’ve offered to drive you to school. We even drove by your house, but no one opened the door.” I freeze.
My mom! She must’ve woken up. She saw him. She… She…

“Move it, you faggot!” Someone pushes me, and I quickly take a step forward. My mom must’ve seen Mikey. And Gerard. She must’ve seen them. She’s gonna make me regret it.
Before I know it I’ve already paid and am now following Mikey’s back through the crowded cafeteria. I look past Mikey and see Gerard and his friends.

“Hey,” Mikey says before he places his tray on the table and sits down. I sit down next to him.

“Hi!” If my mom saw them…and she thought that…
What’s she gonna do to me?

An arm wraps around my waist, and before I can react I’m being pulled across the bench.
I squeal.
And then I blush.

“Hi, Frankie.” Gerard’s voice is soft and sensual and enters my ear with a soft breath. His lips follow and kiss my ear.
“I’ve missed you.” I bow my head and blush – my skin prickling.

Gerard chuckles lightly, before he picks up his coffee and takes a sip. I don’t even know where he gets coffee from – they don’t sell it in the cafeteria.
The other guys around the table start talking about something. I don’t really listen. Instead I look down at my hands.
A juice, an egg-salad sandwich and something that I think is supposed to be some kind of fruit.
I frown. Did I buy this? What?

I place it all on the table and push it away a bit – disgusted by the look of it all.
Gerard kisses my earlobe.

“Aren’t you gonna eat any of it?” I giggle as the vibrations of his voice tickles my ear – a tickle that spread out into my entire face and won’t stop.

“I don’t think I like any of it.” Gerard exhales a laugh right into my ear.

“Then why did you buy it?” I smirk – feeling stupid.

“I don’t know.” Gerard giggles. I melt. His giggle is just so adorable.

“You’re too cute.” I blush even more.
He pulls back and brings his cup of coffee up to his lips.

“Where did you get that?” He smiles as he swallows the hot liquid and looks proudly into the cup.

“The teachers’ lounge.” I frown. He just smirks wider and turns his head – pride written all over him.

“How?”

“They’re never there just before lunch, but the lunch-lady always makes sure there’s coffee before they get there,” he answers smugly, before he kisses my nose once.
I giggle.
He pulls away again to take another drink.
Mikey’s voice enters my ear.

“I don’t care! I’m not gonna do it!” I’m too lazy to join the other conversation, so I continue mine.

“Where did Mikey go yesterday?” Gerard frowns, tears his gaze away from the steaming cup and look up at me.

“What?”

“When you-“ I look away. My skin is heated and prickling like crazy.
“When you kissed me,” I whisper. I stare at the carton of juice that I bought. Why did I buy that?

“He kinda left.” I look back at Gerard who’s smirking evilly.
“When I started kissing you, he sorta just got up and left. I think he said something before he left, but…well…yeah. I was kinda busy.” He smiles proudly at me, and I bite my lip in embarrassment.
His smile fades.
“You look so damn hot when you bite your lip.” I freeze – probably looking stupid. Did he just call me hot?
“You can’t imagine how many times you’ve driven me crazy by doing that.” He runs his tongue over his small teeth and grins sneakily as he stares at my lips.
“And that lip ring? Fuck!” He looks up at my eyes.
Quickly his sneaky grin and lustful stare is completely gone.
“Are you okay, babe?” I suddenly realize my own facial expression – and the rest of my body. My body feels like it’s twisted around itself. I’m so scared. I feel sick. And I have no idea why.

Suddenly bile rises in my throat and I quickly shoot up from my seat and run off.

I can’t hear anything. I just run. I bump into just about everyone I pass – almost falling every time.

I run down the hall as I feel like my Adam’s apple is being ripped apart.
I slam the door to the bathroom open, before more bile rises in my throat. I know I can’t make it into a stall, so I run over to a sink and finally open my mouth.

Brownish liquid pour out of my mouth, and I quickly close my eyes. I grab a firm hold of the sides of the sink – fearing that my legs might give in.
The image of the bile that left my mouth is stuck in my brain, and the sight makes me throw up again.
The sound of the lumpy bile hitting the sink makes me throw up more.

My stomach hurts. My throat is burning. My head is spinning.

Suddenly someone grabs my hair and pulls it out of my face, before they wrap an arm around my waist and helps me stand up.

I wheeze for breath. My head is still spinning. My throat is still burning. But my stomach has stopped hurting.

“Come here.” I’m being sat down – on someone’s lap. I know it’s Gerard – the bitter scent of coffee entering my burned nostrils.
“Just relax, okay? Just relax.” I let myself be leaned against his chest as he softly strokes my hair.
I feel so ashamed. I’m so disgusting. How can he ever love me?
He doesn’t.