Skin and Bones

Even though I want to stay, it’s no guarantee that I will. Even though Gerard is holding me so tight right now, it’s no guarantee that he will hold me tight tomorrow night – I might not be here then.

I hold onto him tighter – one of my arms snaked around his waist, while the other is holding his hand. He’s holding onto my shoulder blade – pressing our chests together with our joined hands caught in the middle.

I just know he’ll be the one to end this. He was the reason I stopped eating, but he’ll be the reason I will start again. And even though it wasn’t him who caused me to be beaten, then he was the reason I fell in love with him. If he hadn’t been so damn gorgeous, maybe I wouldn’t be gay.
Yet, if I wasn’t; if I hadn’t fallen; if I hadn’t been beaten, I wouldn’t be lying here.

I snuggle up closer to him – burying my nose in the crook of his neck. He sighs happily.
I don’t want to leave him. I want him to be my everything. My first, my last, my only.
I want him to be my first.
I pull away slightly, but only enough to tilt my head up and kiss his neck.
He sighs happily again.

A rush of insecurity rushes over me, but I quickly push it away and kiss his neck again – this time more forcefully.
He gasps.

“Frank?” I pull away and look up at him – slightly scared of his reaction.
He doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me – searching my eyes for an answer to his unasked question.

I slowly lean forward and place my lips on his. I have no idea where I’ve gotten the courage to do this, and I really don’t care.
Our kiss starts out slow and tender – loving. I try to focus on our lips, but I can’t stop thinking about how fast or slow my hand is and should be moving – the lower it goes, the more insecure I get. Yet, I keep going.

When I reach the waistband of his pajama pants, he pulls away. I fight myself to stay confident and sure when I open my eyes and look into his.
Again, he just looks at me as he searches for answers. I lie still – staring into his eyes. I don’t swallow. I don’t blink. I don’t avert my eyes. I’m sure, and I have to show it – prove it – to him.

He finds his answer and reconnects our lips. I gasp in surprise and anticipation. His hand on my shoulder blade slides down to my lower back and he caresses it softly – each movement of his fingers sending electricity-like shivers through my body.

My fingertips are tickling when I quickly move my hand down and let it settle on his limp member. As if the tickling radiates from my fingertips, he gasps loudly. His hips twitch. His lips freeze for a few seconds, before they return with twice the intensity as before.
His hand slides down and onto my ass. I whimper.

I can feel myself grow – an intense warmth forming in my groin. My brain is tickling from thoughts of Gerard touching me and me touching him.
He lets go of my hand. I don’t quite notice, since my other hand is busy feeling him slowly harden. My lungs are trembling – making my breathing irregular and choppy.

When his hand suddenly settles on my crotch, I lose control I thrust my hips forwards as a whimpering moan escapes my mouth and enters his. He gasps loudly.
He pulls his lips away from mine – the only part of his body that leaves me.

“You have to be quiet or mom’ll hear us.” I whimper. Usually, I’d feel embarrassed and guilty if I went against Mrs. Way’s will, but now; now it’s nothing but hot – naughty.

Before my brain can comprehend it, I’ve got my lips attached to his and my hand is down his pants. He moans into my mouth and I automatically respond. He whimpers and I respond. He gasps and I respond.
He mirrors me – sticking his hand into my pants. I feel my arm press against the bulge of fat on my stomach, but when his fingers wrap around my hard-on, it’s the only thing that I can think about.

I start thrusting up into his grip. My eyes are squeezed shut as I keep moaning into his open mouth. I want to kiss him, but my brain seems to have absolutely no control of my body.
Gerard has that control now.

He suddenly pulls away – both his hands and his lips. His hands quickly return, though. He sneaks them into the sweats that I’m wearing – which I think are his old ones that Mikey then inherited – but stops there. He looks into my eyes – insecurity in his own.
I nod at him. I know he’s looking for reassurance. He wants to be sure that I’m ready for this and that I want this. And I do.

He pulls down the sweats, but only slightly. My ass and my hard-on breaks free, but my legs stay covered. Also my stomach is still covered by the oversized t-shirt I borrowed from him.
He pulls down his own sweats – slightly further down than he pulled mine – before he gets onto his knees.
He hovers above me – holding himself up by one arm. He stares into my eyes – making sure one last time – before he closes his eyes and leans down.

Our bodies find each other – fitting together so perfectly that I would never have believed it if I wasn’t living it.
Our lips dance together sensually – my head spinning from the sensation.

Without warning, Gerard grabs onto my hard-on – his own still in his hand.
My brain turns off completely. It starts spinning uncontrollably. I can’t breathe. I can’t see. I can’t hear. I can barely even think.
All I can focus on is Gerard’s hand running up and down both of us – our hardened members pressed together. His dick is pressed against mine. His hand is running over my dick. It feels amazing. I’m so close to him. I’m so close.

“You’re so beautiful.” Gerard voice is somewhere between a moan and a whisper. It makes my head spin out of control.

After just four quick strokes, I can’t hold it in anymore. The warmth in my groin is just too much.
I release. I moan loudly, thrash about and tense all of my body as I cum. I feel my own wet cum hit my clothed chest, and even my naked neck, but I don’t care. I don’t care how much I have to clean up, because this feeling is just… It’s so…
Oh dear fuck!
Waves and waves of relaxation come over me. I drop onto the mattress – incapable of even breathing.

I feel Gerard lie down beside me and starting to clean me with a tissue. I want to help him. I would, if I could move. My every muscle is completely paralyzed. My body is completely numb.
I can’t believe I just did that. I can’t believe we just did that.
It felt so perfect.

Slowly, I start feeling my body again – the first thing being my groin. It’s pounding. After that, each body part slowly wakes up – like a humming feeling growing stronger in each limb.
I turn my head to look at Gerard. He’s smiling – his eyes heavily lidded.
I smile back.
He leans forward and we kiss softly, before we cuddle up. I drift off to sleep quickly.