Book That Ends With No Last Page

I hadn't seen or talked to John since the day we sat across from each other in an office with our lawyers. Even then he wouldn't look at me. all he mumbled was "Lets get this over with" and thats the only thing he said. he just signed the papers, then pushed his seat back, got out of it,making the chair fall back in the process, and left the office.

I didn't really make contact with him either. I couldn't look at him without crying or seeing every moment we shared flash through my head. The thing that killed me was he had it all wrong. He didn't know what happened. He wouldn't even let me explain, there was no point in attempting to anyway. We were divorced.

I was living with my parents again and they were sad that the marriage ended. They thought me and John were really happy with each other. I mean I loved him, so so so much. And the first week we were apart I didn't leave my room. I just layed in my bed, cried and thought about him.

Its been 6 months and 13 days since mine and Johns divorce was official.

Its been 6 months and 13 days since I last saw John or heard from him.

Not that I have been counting or anything....

Truth is, I couldn't take it. I wanted to be with him again.

I would take all the fights and arguments back just to be with him again. To hear him whisper soothing words to me when I felt down or couldn't sleep, when he randomly kissed me, and when he did everything I wanted, and made sure I had plenty of rest when I was pregnant.

I missed him.

I wanted to lay on the couch with him and watch TV again, I wanted to feel him get in the bed next to me.

But after a month, I realized none of that would ever happen again.

I started to think maybe he lied about loving me again like he did the first time.

All I knew was I wasn't lying.

I was in love with John O'Callaghan

And I knew one thing for sure.

Love drives you crazy.

~~~~~~~~

I walked into the coffee shop just down the street from my parents place that I had been going to for years.

As soon as I walked in my heart started to beat faster and I froze.

There he was.

Sitting at a table with some girl. I didn't recognize her, I saw only the back of her head.

John seemed really into her. He seemed happy. and that made me sad.

Here I was, still a wreck after 6 and a half months. Seeing him made me want to cry. Especially since he was laughing.

I quickly tore my gaze from him. I didn't know what to do.

Its not like I could go up to him. He would probably act like he didn't know me.

I walked up to the counter and ordered my usual coffee, doing everything in my power not to turn my head and look at John and that girl.

I wasn't sure why I hadn't just booked it out of the coffee shop. I was proud of myself for keeping it together though. I mean I wasn't crying and I talked normally, my voice wasn't shaking or anything, to the teen behind the counter.

As soon as she handed me my coffee and I payed, I planed to speed walk out without being noticed.

But as soon as I turned around I came face to face with Kennedy.

"Addy?!"He said pretty loudly and very shocked.

"Hey Kenny"I said nervously as I gripped my coffee and prayed to god John didn't hear him.

"I cant believe it"He said surprised beyond belief.

"Kennedy, I have to go, I'm sorry"

"Whats the rush?"I heard from behind me. I closed my eyes tightly. I didn't want to make eye contact with him. I would break. So I didn't. But I loved hearing his voice more then anything.

I started to walk fast without turning around to face him.

I pushed past Kennedy, and as I almost reached the door, of course I had to go and run into someone, but not just anyone. "Addy?!" He said the same way Kennedy had

"Hey Pat" I said biting my lower lip. Why were they all appearing?

"Its been so long, so how are you? I miss you!" He said smiling. I gave him a fake smile.

"I have to go"I said again.

"Don't leave on my account" He mumbled as he walked up to us. I got a good look at his face.

He looked okay. Not one trace of sadness. It was depressing. He looked happy.

I just shook my head and bit my lip again, I didn't want to cry, not now.

"We should go if we're going to have dinner with my parents"The girl John was with said as she came up to us. But she wasn't just any girl. She was the girl with the puppy. I looked at her in disbelief then turned my gaze to John. I no longer felt sad, but mad. Oh did I feel mad.

"Yeah, lets go" John said as he took her hand and just walked away and out the door.

You have got to be kidding me. Did he have to be with her? Why? If he wanted to be with someone why couldn't he just get back together with Daisy? That would make more sense.

Wow after those horrible 6 months, never had I felt that I wanted to shoot John like I do now. I wanted him to hold me, but now I want to kill him.

I still just stood there in shock gripping my coffee thinking until Kennedy broke me out of my daze.

"They've only been together for about a month and a half"He said quietly.

"How could he?"I cried out.

"Addy, look, I tried to tell him what you told me, about what happened, but he wouldn't listen."

"He's telling the truth"Pat added"Whenever someone said your name he would flip the fuck out, it was actually quite scary"

I just looked down trying my hardest to not let the tears come. I was such a baby. I probably cry more then baby's do.

"Why didn't you at least keep in touch with me?"Kennedy asked sadly and I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry Kenny, but John never gave me back my phone, so I didn't have your number" I said feeling bad as I looked at his hurt face.

"I don't think John's going to want us to talk to you"Pat said quietly,and I looked down again
"But I don't care, your one of my best friends, and just because John claims he doesn't want anything to do with you, doesn't mean I want to stop talking to you. I really missed you always being there"Pat said sincerely.

"Thanks Pat"I said and gave him a hug. We hugged tightly for a few seconds and then Kennedy informed us that he didn't get a hug so I gave him a hug too. I missed them.

"Johns not over you"Kennedy said as soon as we let go.

"I think your wrong"I said quietly"He looks happy"

"You don't know what happened when you left the tour."Kennedy said

"Yeah Adds, like we had to cancel some shows because John refused to play. He was an emotional wreck."

"Well he looks better now. I'm not going to give him any sympathy. Its all his fault. He should know I would never intentionally kiss Kyle. And he moved on pretty fucking fast."

"Okay, I'm not going to lie. He seems really into Megan at the moment, but thats just for now. Now that he's seen you again, he's going to fall right back in. He cant resist what you guys had"

"Thats where your wrong"I said quietly.