Playing House

I entered the kitchen, taking a deep breath.

“Eleanor,” I greeted after the door swung shut behind me.

“I would appreciate some more tea,” she snipped. “Please,” she added. I nodded, only because she said ‘please.’ And because I was afraid she’d suck out my soul if I didn’t.

“Listen, child. I know that you love Ben, or at least you think you do,” Eleanor started.

“Excuse me, Eleanor, but-”

“No, you will listen. You are no where near Benjamin’s level. Don’t take it personally, but you and I both know that he deserves so much better,” Eleanor stated.

“Uh…I do?”

“I mean, honestly. He is going to be much more successful than he already is, and he doesn’t need two children and a baby weighing him down,” she continued.

That made sense, actually.

“Um. Yeah.”

“And really, you can’t possibly believe that he’s with you because he loves you,” she insinuated.

“Er, I can’t?”

“He pities you, dear. He’s got too big of a heart to send you off, and he’s too good of a man to leave you carrying his child,” she said.

“Oh.”

“Listen. I know this might be a lot to take in right now, but I’m just trying to spare you both. I also want what’s best for my nephew, and the burden of a family is definitely not one of those things. I’m also thinking about what’s best for you, because you don’t honestly want to be in a loveless, sympathy filled relationship, do you?”

“No…” I shook my head. “But…but I have nowhere to go. This is my job, my house, my everything.”

“Shh, sweetheart. Go upstairs quickly and pack, and I’ll book you a room at the Hilton until you can get settled. You can sneak out tonight,” she said, beginning to usher me out a side door. I stopped halfway, turning around.

“Eleanor, maybe I should talk to him first. You know, to just make sure-”

“You know he won’t let you leave,” she stated. “He’ll say whatever he thinks you need to hear to keep you here, and then that will be it. But I want you to take a deep breath and think about it. Really think about it. What is the best for Benjamin?”

My insides screamed at me to just punch this conniving old woman in the face. She was lying. She had to be lying. She was just trying to get rid of me.

But then I did what she said to. I took a deep breath and thought about Ben, his life, and his career. Then I thought about what his life would be like if I stayed, and what it would be like if I didn’t.

If I stayed, he would be weighed down. He’d be limited. He’d be unhappy.

Which is probably why about two minutes later, I found myself in my room packing up my suitcases. My erratic packing along with my shaking hands made for a messy job, but I eventually got everything I needed packed right away. I could always get the rest of it later.

“Amalia?” I heard Ben call from the other side of my door after knocking lightly. I shoved my suitcases into my closet and hurried back to the door, opening it quickly.

“Hey,” I greeted.

“Hey,” he replied, pulling me closer by my waist. “Are you okay?”

“Yep. Fine,” I said a little too quickly.

“What did she say to you?”

“What do you mean?” I stalled, trying to come up with a good lie.

“My Aunt,” he answered. “What kind of bullshit did she feed you?”

“Oh. Uh, nothing. She just had me make her some tea and she asked about the kids,” I told him.

“Really?” Ben remarked, surprise evident in his voice.

“Mhm.”

“You’re lying,” Ben remarked. “I can tell.”

I just looked up at him, not knowing what to say.

“Amalia, just tell me what she said,” Ben requested, pushing my hair our of my face.

“Ben, she asked about the kids, and I made her tea,” I repeated.

“Okay,” Ben sighed. “Let’s get back down there, alright?”

I nodded, and we walked hand-in-hand downstairs. Eleanor shot me a look and I nodded subtly at her, and she seemed to get the message.

"Benjamin," she called out.

"Yes Aunt Eleanor," he said tonelessly.

"I think I shall be leaving now," she announced. "Thank you for your...lovely hospitality."

"Anytime," Ben said, a sarcastic edge to his voice.

"Nice to meet you, dear," she said, grabbing my hand and slipping a folded piece of paper into it. I unnoticeably put it in my pocket, knowing it was my room information.

"You too," I forced out.

She left just a little later, sending me a lingering look as she walked out the door.

The party seemed to drone on after that, and I knew Ben could tell there was something up with me. He didn’t say anything though, and after the party was over he continued keeping his distance.

The kids had been put to bed a couple of hours ago, and right now Ben and I were just finishing cleaning up the living room.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ben suddenly asked.

“What? Nothing,” I denied.

“You know what? I don’t even fucking care anymore. I’m done,” he muttered, dropping the trash bag in his hands and walking up the stairs. I sighed and ran a hand over my face, finishing up the cleaning.

I went back into my room a little later and finished packing, and I snuck into the kids’ room to pack up most of their stuff as well. I tip-toed to Ben’s room and pressed my ear to the door, and when I heard him snoring lightly I went back to my room and called Tina.

“Hello?” She yawned.

“Tina? I need a ride somewhere,” I told her.

“Are you nuts? I was just over there. And, do you know what time it is? And furthermore, didn’t Ben buy you a fucking car?”

“I don’t have it yet, and I really just need you to do this, no questions asked right now. I’ll explain everything later, alright?” I begged.

“Ugh, fine. This better be good,” she remarked.

“I’m trying to sneak out, so when you get here just call me and I’ll let you in, and try and be as quiet as possible, okay?”

“Amalia-”

“Please, Tina?”

I heard her sigh before mumbling she’d be here in a few minutes. We hung up and I got everything settled, and I waited for her call. Soon enough my phone was buzzing and I quietly made my way downstairs and opened the door. I motioned her inside and led her upstairs.

“Grab two suitcases,” I whispered, grabbing two myself. After we made our first trip to the car we went back inside and I grabbed the kids while she took my other bags. Once we were safely on the road, and the kids had finally fallen back asleep, Tina turned to me.

“Speak. Now,” she demanded.

I took a deep breath and started talking, explaining everything from when I disappeared into the kitchen with Eleanor.

“Mal, you can’t believe that woman! She’s just trying to get you away from Ben!” Tina exclaimed.

“Either way, you can’t deny that he’d be better off without all of us,” I mumbled.

“You don’t know that. You should have talked to him,” Tina said, shaking her head. After a few moments of silence, she turned to me again. “Am I taking you back to my place?”

“No, I have a room here," I told her, handing her the slip of paper. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "Eleanor booked it for me."

“Of course she did," Tina said in an airy tone. She took me to the hotel and helped me unload the bags and kids.

I got settled into my room and tucked the kids in bed before turning back to Tina.

“Thanks for all your help,” I told her, giving her a hug.

“You know I’d do it any time,” she replied. “But I really think you’re making a big mistake. Mal, just talk to him.”

“I’ll do some serious thinking tonight, and I’ll figure everything out tomorrow,” I waved off. She shook her head at me and sighed before saying good bye. I watched her leave and shut the door soon after, locking it behind me.

I got ready for bed and laid down, knowing there was no way I was going to be able to get any sleep that night.

I managed to doze off a little bit around five in the morning, only to have my children shake me awake a few hours later. They were confused and a little scared, and I can’t say I blamed them. After calming them down a bit I ordered room service to feed them some breakfast.

I checked my cell phone and my eyes widened. I had more missed calls, voicemails, and text messages than I could even comprehend.

I listened to a few of my voicemails before having to put my phone down due to my inability to deal with everything.

The messages I had listened to were all from Ben, and he sounded so worried and lost that I was ready to burst into tears.

There was a knock on the door, so I quickly composed myself and got some money to tip the room service people. I opened the door, seeing the food cart, but my heart stopped when I saw Ben standing there as well. There was no one else in sight, so I figured he sent the room service guy away.

We stood there in silence just staring at each other, my mouth open slightly.

“Mal?” His voice broke. I could tell he had cried, or was about to, because his eyes were red and his voice was scratchy. “I’m sorry.”

I looked up at him, confused. What the Hell was he sorry for?

“I didn’t mean to get mad at you last night, I was just so frustrated. I was worried that something was wrong, and you weren’t opening up to me, and I just…didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I’m sorry,” he ranted.

I ran a hand over my face, feeling the tears start to well up in my eyes.

“I didn’t think it was going to be such a big deal where you thought you needed to straight up move out,” he continued.

“It wasn’t,” I shook my head. He looked at me, puzzled.

“Then what’s going on?”

I didn’t know what to say, so I opted for looking at the ground.

“How did you find us?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter. What I want to know is why I had to come find you in the first place. What the fuck is going on?” He demanded, becoming angrier. Maddie suddenly came up next to me and hugged my leg, looking up at Ben innocently. Ben’s face softened, not wanting to give Maddie the impression he was like the last guy who yelled at me and caused her to stop speaking. He softly told her to go back by her brother, and she obliged immediately. He pushed the food cart into the room and pulled me out with him in the hallway after letting me grab my key card.

“Ben, I-”

“Why? What did I do? Or was it something I didn’t do? Please, tell me,” he requested.

“Your Aunt Eleanor-”

“Stop right there,” he interrupted, holding his hand up. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Why wouldn't I be? You don’t even know what she said,” I remarked, becoming angry as well.

“I don’t need to know what she said. It’s bullshit, whatever it was. I told you not to listen to her,” he stated.

“She said you didn’t love me. She said you pitied me and that’s why you adopted Beau and Maddie, and why you’re going to stay with me for our child. Because you’re too good of a man not too. She says me and the kids are going to stifle your success, and that you could be so much better off without us,” I choked out.

“Mal,” Ben cooed, pulling me close. He didn’t say anything else, which didn’t exactly comfort me. I pulled away and looked into his eyes, waiting for him to continue. “Come on Mal, you don’t really believe all that, do you?”

“Maybe,” I whispered, shrugging and avoiding eye contact.

“Amalia, I love you. I love Beau, and I love Maddie. I don’t know what more you want me to say,” he sighed.

“You can’t say anything else,” I murmured, remembering Eleanor’s other words. “Eleanor says you’ll say whatever you think I need to hear to keep me with you, and that will be it. You’ll be weighed down with the burden of a family and I’ll be stuck in a loveless relationship.”

Ben stood there, a million different expressions running over his face.

“A…loveless relationship?” Ben spat. “Are you fucking kidding me? You know what, I can’t even believe this right now. I thought by now I proved to you that I am head over heels for you. Or, at least I was. I don’t know how I could be in love with a woman who is such a fucking idiot.”

He looked me over once, before shaking his head and turning around. I watched him walk down the hall until he disappeared into the elevator, and then I leaned against the wall. I let out a shaky breath, which turned into a sob, and before long I had slid down the wall and burst into tears. I sat in the hallway, alone, and the most confused I had ever been in my entire life.