I Need You to Save Me

Before I fall too fast, kiss me quick, but make it last. So I can see how badly it will hurt me when you say goodbye.
I pulled away slowly, opening my eyes to stare at Kevin, my heart was somewhere else, it was beating so fast, I was worried. Kevin smiled softly at me. “I promise I’ll be here for you.” He whispered, taking my hand in his. It may sound cliché but my hand fit perfectly in his.
“Thank you.” I whispered as soon as I found my voice.
He hugged me gently, pulling me towards him, I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes inhaling his scent. This comforted me, a lot.
Keep it sweet, keep it slow, let the future pass, and don’t let go.
I was listening to Kevin’s breathing, it was even and calm, compared to mine.
“I’ve been roaming around, always looking down at all I see, the painted faces fill the places..” Kevin pulled away from me, and took out his phone, “Hello?” He answered.
I smiled at him, and walked out of my room, and down to the kitchen, I didn’t want to make it look like I was listening. As I got into the kitchen, I poured some water into a glass, and sat down at the table.
I needed to sort out my thoughts, which were extremely muddled at the moment.
In all reality, Danielle had broken up with Kevin yesterday.
I didn’t want to be his rebound.
I didn’t want to get hurt.
I didn’t want to put all my trust in someone, and then see them leave.
He was going to marry her, he had planned to ask her, he did ask her, she said no. That was yesterday.
He had kissed me, and told me he loved me today.
That was one day.
I was definitely rebound. I had to be.
I didn’t want to be rebound, I wanted to be someone real, for once in my life.
I ran my hands through my hair, closing my eyes, I put my head down on the table. Trying to figure out what I was actually going to do next.
I was fine being alone all the time, then Kevin came along, and now I’m in love, and I don’t know if I’m rebound or not.
“Lauren?” Kevin called, walking into the kitchen, seeing me he looked concerned. “Are you okay?” He asked.
I lifted my head to meet his gaze, and I saw his facial expression change. “What’s wrong?” He asked.
He walked over to me, and sat down beside me, “Tell me what’s wrong?” He asked.
I couldn’t tell him, could I? I took in a deep breath, looking in his eyes, “I think I love you.” I whispered, truthfully.
He was about to open his mouth, but I shook my head, “I don’t want to get hurt.” I whispered, “I want to be able to love you, but that’s hard when you have a voice in the back of your head telling you continuously, that you’re the rebound girl.” I said, my voice cracking as I spoke. “And I don’t want to be the rebound girl, Kevin.” I whispered. “And those voices in my head, they’re lethal.” I said truthfully.
Kevin stared at me confused, his expression calculating. “You’re not rebound.”
I stared at him, giving him a typical ‘Yeah, right’ look.
“I promise.” He whispered. “I’m always going to be here for you.”
I promise you, I’m always there, when your heart is filled with sorrow and despair , I’ll carry you when you need a friend…
“But what about Danielle? You were going to marry her, you had a ring.”
“She said no, and broke up with me.” Kevin answered quietly, and for a split second I saw sadness run through his eyes.
“So you’re not over her, so I am a rebound, then you’re going to find someone…with less problems, and then leave me.” I said quietly, trying not to let any tears fall.
I felt him pull me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me gently, as if I would break it he held me tightly, I automatically laid my head on his shoulder, and felt one of his hands running through my hair gently. “I’m not going to leave you.” He whispered softly.
I stayed silent, “I’m going to have a shower.” I mumbled, pulling away slowly and reluctantly from him.
“You can watch TV or something, I don’t really mind.” I mumbled.
“Okay, sure.” He said quietly, “But think about what I said.” He said, smiling slightly.
And you smile that beautiful smile, and all the girls in the front row scream your name…

~Kevin’s P.O.V~

I watched her walk up the stairs, she looked so brittle, just like any little thing could break her, and that scared me, way more than it probably should have.
“I’ve been roaming around, always looking down at all I see, the painted faces fill the places..” I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and checked the call display, Joe.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hey dude, you okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, fine.”
“That’s good, um you might want to switch onto E! News right now, just giving you the heads up.” Joe mumbled.
I started to walk towards the sitting room, and flicked on the TV, “Any particular reason why?” I asked, as I pressed all the right buttons to make E! News appear magically on the screen.
“You’ll see.” Joe mumbled.
The first thing I saw was a picture of Danielle. Danielle with another guy.
The saddest thing for me was I trusted you yeah, endlessly so now the innocence you played, just go save it for the other guy I seen..
“This just in, pictures have surfaced during the last few weeks, gradually of the very famous we’re now guessing at ex of Kevin Jonas out with this guy, we believe he’s new on the Hollywood scene, and filming a movie at the moment, in the last few days, they’ve been caught kissing, passionately, and we thought we were going to be hearing wedding bells soon with her and Kevin, pity. Hopefully we’ll know more soo-” I pressed the off button on the remote, and realized Joe was still on the other end of the phone, “She was cheating on me.” I whispered, trying to keep my voice, and myself composed.
“You’re much better off without her.” Joe said quietly.
“You all tried to tell me that.” I mumbled.
I heard movement on the other side of the phone, and I think I heard Demi enter the room. “But you were happy.”
“But she was cheating on me.”
“None of us knew that.” Joe mumbled, “But, at least she’s out of your life now.”
“I guess you’re right.” I whispered.
“Always am, now cheer up. Are you coming home tonight?” He asked.
“I’ll probably stay here..” I mumbled.
“You two haven’t-”
“No, Joe.” I answered quickly.
“Okay, just wondering.” He mumbled. “I better go, I’ll see you soon.” He said as the line went dead, I put my phone down on the coffee table, and placed my head in my hands, ]i]so many months of betrayal…
I closed my eyes, and found myself thinking back on the last few months, she had changed, she was trying to have any excuse to pick a fight, and Lauren gave her the biggest excuse possible.
I’d never dream of cheating on anyone, but maybe Danielle was right with some of the things, for instance she had said that the way I looked at Lauren was like there was no one else in the world. It felt like that sometimes.

~

I was sitting in Danielle’s sitting room, she said she’d be here now, but she was late, and when I heard the door open she walked in, smiling at a text she was writing, when she saw me, confusion flooded her face, “Kevin?” She asked.
“Hey.” I said lightly, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice, right now the ring box in my pocket felt like it weighed a tonne, and I found myself wondering whether I was making the right decision, and then Lauren’s face flashed across my mind, the forced smile when I told her I was going to ask Danielle to marry me, and the underlying pain.
“Why are you here, Kevin?” She asked, there was an edge to her voice.
“I-I wanted to ask you something important..” I mumbled, stuttering nervously.
She glared at me, “Whatever it is, no. It’s over, Kevin. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Leave now.” She said emotionlessly.
Set you adrift on memory bliss, it was Grafton street on a rainy night, I was down on one knee and you were mine for life….who have thought we’d end up like this, where everything we talked about is gone?
I stared at her wide eyed, “W-what?” I whispered, not able to find my voice
“I said it’s over. Goodbye.” She said slower than before, then she turned away from me and walked out of the room.
I stood up dazed, and walked out of the house, trying to piece everything together, what had I done wrong?
I walked to my car, and I ignored the loud thunder and lightening and the heavy rain, I was soaked, but I didn’t care right now, I just sat there, trying to think.
I can’t remember how long I sat there, but when I finally got myself together, I pulled out my phone and called Lauren.

~

I heard light footsteps coming down the stairs, and I pulled myself together, and smiled at Lauren when she walked into the room, actually it wasn’t forced, it was easier when she was here. It came naturally.
& it takes my breath away, what you do so naturally…
“You okay?” She asked, the minute she saw me. She watched me carefully as she sat down , wrapping her arms around her legs as she sat curled up, she was wearing long sleeves, but I could tell she was being careful with the arm she had cut before, and I felt worried all of a sudden, she was still watching me, but all I could think of was how she could kill herself, the blood, the pain…and I knew she had done it again.
It scared me.
She doesn’t look, she doesn’t see, opens up to nobody, figures out, she figures out. Narrow lines, she can’t decide, everything short of suicide, never hurts, nearly works…
“You didn’t have to.” I whispered.
She stared at me confused, “What?” She asked, trying to fake a smile.
“You..hurt yourself again.” I mumbled.
She stayed silent, and looked away from me.
I noticed the way she wore little make-up, just eyeliner and mascara, and how it was smudged under her eyes, like she had been crying. Did I do this to her?
“Lauren?”
“I’m fine.” She replied, still not looking at me.
Your make-up smeared across your face tells me, you’re not fine, just a line that you recite, I can see that. Tears falling down give no answer, since you don’t even know who you are...
“you’re not fine.” I whispered, reaching out and wiping a stray tear away from her cheek.
“I’m fine, everything’s alright.” She whispered, giving me a forced smile.
You just sit there quiet with your fake smile, don’t tell me, don’t tell me, everything’s alright and you’re happy, is it something that you can’t say, I’ll stay all night…
I pulled her into my arms, “I’m with you.”
“For how long?” She mumbled into my shoulder, she was shaking, was she crying?
“As long as you want me, hopefully a long time.” I whispered truthfully.
I felt her arms tighten around me, “I’m not a rebound?” She whispered.
“Definitely not.”
“You’re not going to leave me?” She whispered.
I smiled softly, “No, I’m not. If I have to leave to go anywhere, I’ll take you with me.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.” I said lightly, pulling away from her, to smile at her, she stared back at me, looking exhausted, I kissed her gently, then pulled away, “I do love you.” I said truthfully.
She smiled slightly, “I love you too.”
And the best way to make it through is with hearts and wrists intact.
“you’re coming to my house tomorrow, to meet my mum and dad properly, and to actually have the chance to talk to everyone.” I said quietly.
Her eyes widened slightly, “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” I said, pecking her lips again lightly.