In All This Chaos

I was once again set behind the merch table, as I would be for the next month and a half, setting up the merch for my friends. Sound check had already passed, I had grabbed a bite to eat with This Century’s merch girl, Kate, and then we walked around the city before getting to where we’re at now. I must say I had quite a decent day so far.

The tension around us all had even begun to die down somewhat. Sure, John only apologized about four days ago and everyone was starting to realize that we were on speaking terms again and being civil. It was kind of weird in the beginning to try and be just his friend again, but I’m moving on. He’s my past and I won’t tolerate what he did so I don’t even really see me giving him another chance. I was just glad to have him back in my life in a way.

Justin was the most happiest when he found out that John and I were friends. He apologized for yelling at me, even though I deserved it. I did see what he meant though. I was brining everyone down with me because of this whole situation. Now that I’ve settled that I was beginning to enjoy myself again being on tour with my friends.

“Hey!”

I turned around rather quickly to see who had called out to me and I saw Eric leaning on the counter of the merch area of the venue. He had a grin on his face and I just smiled back.

“Hey.”

“Whatcha up to?”

“Merch.” I stated the obvious and pointed to the scene behind me.

“Right.”

“Was there something you wanted from me?” I asked anxiously and I was surprised at how cool we were being to each other despite the fact of what had almost happened in his hotel room a few days ago.

“Actually, yes, there is.” He said looking directly at me.

“And what might that be?” I stared back.

“I was wondering…” He started, but trailed off also looking down. It took about maybe three seconds until he started again. “…I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go hang out tomorrow before the show?”

“Um, sure? Don’t we always hang out though?” I was confused. We hung out almost every time before a show started with everyone with the exception of today because I hadn’t seen him since sound check.

“Um, no. I don’t mean hang out like that.” He stammered a bit trying to hint something else and I think I knew where he was getting at that I couldn’t help but grin myself.

“Oh, you mean a date?” Then when the word date left my mouth I smiled a bit. Why though? Why wasn’t this the least bit awkward?

“Y-yeah. A date. Me and you only.” He said still looking down and I could see a blush creep up on his face. It was quite adorable.

“Well, yes.” I answered and he finally looked back up at me.

“Really?”

“Yes, I’d love to go out on a date with you.” I clarified with a genuine smile. He smiled back at me showing his teeth.

“Thank God. I was getting nervous.”

“Nervous? It’s just me.”

“Yeah, but, I don’t know I guess you make me nervous.” He admitted. Now it was my turn to blush. I didn’t even know I had that affect on him. After a few moments of just standing there I asked if there was anything else since he wasn’t leaving.

“Um, is there anything else you wanted?”

“Yeah, there is actually.”

“Alright, what is it-” I never got to ask because he quickly leaned over and captured my lips with his own. I was startled for a second, but I got over it and kissed back. I brought my left hand up and cupped his cheek. This seemed wrong and at the same time right. I don’t know how long we were kissing each other, but when he finally pulled away he explained.

“I just wanted to try that…because of that one time.” He wasn’t doing too good of a job at explaining, but I knew where he was getting at. I just couldn’t answer right away. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that. I understand if you don’t want to go out tomorrow, but-”

“Eric, I know why you did that. John kind of ruined the moment that day.”

“Yeah, John. I heard you two are on speaking terms again.”

“We are. I decided to forgive him and move on.”

“I feel like a douche.”

“Why?”

“He’s my best friend.”

“So, what? I’m not his girlfriend anymore.”

“Still…”

“Don’t tell me that you believe in that stupid imaginary bro code you men have.”

“Well…”

“Halvo!”

“It’s just, it doesn’t seem right.” When he said those words I felt like the date he had asked me out on wasn’t even going to happen at all now just because of John and this stupid bro code. I was beginning to feel letdown. “But I like you, Jasey. I can’t help that and I want you to give me a chance even though John is my friend.”

My response was me leaning back over the merch counter and kissing him once sweetly. It felt good to kiss someone again and let alone have that feeling again where you knew that someone liked you back.

“I like you too, Eric. I have to get back to merch and you guys play in a few. I’ll see you later.”

He looked down at his watch and his eyes widened for a bit in realization that the show was to start with them in a couple of minutes.

“Shit, you’re right. I’ll definitely be seeing you later.” He said and then kissed my cheek before walking off.

I licked my lips then bit my bottom one lightly trying not to smile too wide. I guess the feeling was mutual. Hell, I hadn’t known that I had actual feelings like this for him, but I was happy.

My smile had died down quickly because of who I saw from my peripheral vision. It didn’t even come to my mind on how I would explain things to the guys when they found out.

“What was that all about?” Kennedy asked sort of disappointedly and I knew that he didn’t have anything good to say to me.