Leaving My Fingerprints

She wasn’t leaving me. She couldn’t be. There was no way Maxie was dying. It was a lie. It was a cruel, evil joke, probably planned by Joe or something. I was being punk’d. I knew it. Ashton Kutcher was going to come out any moment and tell me my best friend, my other half, really wasn’t dying and they got me good. Why else would Maxie tell everyone before me? It was soon apparent as I got home with no cameras bursting out of nowhere that this was in fact real.

“I’m home,” I said to no one in particular as I walked into the house. Emma ran out of the living room into my arms, her face covered in tears. I wrapped my arms around her. Apparently, she hadn’t known either.

“It’s not fair,” she whispered into my chest.

I didn’t move, too numb to even think. I pulled away from her. I needed to think. I went up to my room and fell onto my bed. She wasn’t dying. That was that. The door opened, and Joe came in. I didn’t move.

“I hope you’re happy now,” he said, the anger not hidden in his voice.

I sat up at his tone. “How the hell could I be happy?” I demanded.

“You shouldn’t be,” he said, a bit taken back. I bet he was ready to go off on me when he came in here, for turning away from Maxie at the pier. But he didn’t get it. Maxie was my best friend. And she had chosen telling him before me. “You’re a real dick.”

“Thanks,” I rolled my eyes, not even caring.

“I’m serious,” he said. “Because of you, she’s fucking gone.”

“Gone?” I asked immediately. “Gone where?”

“Home you dipshit,” he glared at me. “Where the hell else?”

“Why’d she go home?” I asked quietly. She was gone? Was she that ready to leave me behind?

“Because she thought you needed space,” he said angrily.

Wow, she had some nerve. She dropped this huge bombshell on me and then left? “Whatever,” I said coolly.

“Whatever?” he repeated, astonished. “Are you serious? After everything you just put her through?”

“What I put her though?” I demanded. “She lied to me. She didn’t tell me. I’m the victim here.” Even as I said it, the words made me recoil.

“Wow poor you Nicholas,” he rolled his eyes. “She’s dying with only a few months left. And she just fucking told you, her best friend, and you completely bitched out at her and you’re the victim. You’ve got some guts Nick.”

“Well what do you want me to do about it?” I asked. “She’s gone.”

“Go after her!” he yelled. “You have a few months left with her. What’s more, you’re the worst part of dying to her. Leaving your sorry ass is the only thing she regrets.”

“Then why didn’t she tell me?” I asked quietly. Even as he said it, the words were just sinking in. She was really dying. She was leaving me. I had a few months. I had blown it.

“Because she fucking loves you,” Joe yelled. “Because telling you meant hurting you, and she couldn’t bring herself to be responsible for that kind of pain. You’re the fucking love of her life, no matter how short it is, and you completely destroyed her. You deserve whatever the hell you get Nicholas,” he seethed. “But Maxie doesn’t. For whatever reason, she loves you beyond a doubt. So you’re going to get your sorry ass to New Jersey and beg her to forgive you and bring her back so the next few months we can be with her before she’s gone.” And with that he stormed out.

I sat frozen on my bed at his words. She loved me? No, she couldn’t. We were best friends, but that was it. We had always been just friends. I had never even thought of her like that. I felt tears brimming in my eyes as I thought of Emma, sweet, beautiful Emma waiting downstairs for me. She was so like Maxie, and quietly it dawned on me. I loved her because she was like Maxie. Looking back, all my girlfriends were like Maxie in some way or another. When I was with Miley, she was so funny and fun to be with. She made me laugh, just like Maxie. Selena was beautiful and kind, just like Maxie. And Emma. Emma was the epitome of Maxie’s personality in every sense. All these years I had gone for these girls because of something that reminded me of my best friend. Slowly, I was feeling a hole in me, a hole I felt was there all along just never acknowledged. Maxie filled that hole. And she was dying. She was leaving me. I stood up, quickly grabbing a pen and paper and jotting down where I was going before rushing out the door. I hoped the red eye got me there quickly.

---

“You were too harsh on him Joe,” Kevin sighed as I sat down on his bed.

I rolled my eyes. “He needed harsh to get it through his thick head.”

“You don’t even know if it’ll work,” he said.

I shrugged. “It will.”

“How are you so confident?” he shook his head.

“He loves her just as much as she loves him,” I shrugged again. It was true. My numbskull of a brother loved Maxie. He just needed a push to get him to realize it. I knew I had been cruel. But oh well. If it got him to realize how he felt and got him to go over there, then it was worth it.

“You could have been kinder,” he pointed out.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s done.”

Kevin sighed. “Should we talk to him? He’s probably hurting right now. I mean, she is his best friend. And she’s – dying.”

I sighed. Maxie, dying. It didn’t seem real. But Kevin was right. Nick needed to realize it. I had done my part. Now he needed his brothers. “Okay,” I said, standing. “Let’s go.”

We walked to his room and I knocked softly. “Nicky?”

There was no answer.

“Nicholas?” Kevin said more sternly.

Still, nothing. Kevin and I exchanged a glance before pushed the door open. The room was empty. “Where is he?” Kevin asked.

I noticed a note on his bed, and picked it up. “I think I know,” I said as I read it quickly. Kevin looked at me questioningly. I read his letter out loud. “Guys, I have to go get her. You were right Joe. I deserve everything I get. But she’s still my best friend, and I love her. I need her. I’m only sorry I didn’t realize it till now. And now that I have, I’m not ready to let go just yet. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Love, Nick.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” Kevin chuckled lightly. “Good job Joe, it worked.