Leaving My Fingerprints

“Wait,” Joe shouted, grabbing my arm as I went to go ring Demi’s doorbell.

I looked at him, confused. “She knows we’re coming, right?”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course Maxie, jeez! But get with the new century, jeez.” He pulled out his phone.

Nick leaned in towards me, causing me to hold my breath. “He’s been using jeez a lot.”

I laughed. “I figured.”

“It’s a cool word,” Emma rolled her eyes. “Jeez!”

I rolled my eyes too. “Not you too.”

Joe rolled his eyes as well, which just made this seem like a eye rolling party. “You guys are so immature. Now shh, I have to call her.”

“We could just ring her bell,” I suggested.

“That’s not fun,” he said, and put his phone to his ear. “What’s up girlfriend? No, I’m not drunk. Yeah I am in Texas. And yes, I am on your steps. Okay, bye.” He hung up and grinned at us. “She’s coming.”

“Was that really necessary though?” I laughed.

Before anyone could answer, the door opened, and there stood Demi, looking slightly out of breath. She screamed before throwing her arms around me. “Maxie! You’re here! It’s so good to see you! It has been way too long. I’ve missed you like crazy!”

“Wow, we came to see you too,” Joe pretended to be hurt.

Demi and I looked at each other and giggled. “I’m more important,” I told him.

He stuck his tongue out at me, before pushing past us and walking in. “I know Dallas will be glad to see me.”

“She’s not home,” Demi smirked.

“Damn,” Joe mumbled. “Madison? She was always so cool.”

“In L.A. for a Desperate Housewives meeting,” Demi grinned even wider.

Nick laughed as he and Emma followed us to the living room. “Just admit defeat, man.”

Joe scoffed, and fell back on the couch. Demi laughed before turning to Emma. “nd you must be Emma, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Emma blushed as she stared at Demi, star struck. It was cute how lost Emma seemed, even though she was gorgeous. I knew she felt plain in the presence of an actual celebrity. I wanted to smack her. She had the attention of another one. She should know she must be something special to catch Nick’s attention.

Nick was blushing too, staring at the ceiling and twiddling his thumbs. Had he been talking to Demi about Emma before we got here? Like he was into her before we even arrived?

Demi laughed, looking between them. “Maxie rants about you all the time.” We all let out a breath, though I hadn’t even realized I was holding mine. “All good tuff, don’t worry,” she added as she noticed the shift in the atmosphere.

Joe rolled his eyes. “Just hook up already, jeez,” he said, looking between Nick and Emma. But then his face grew soft as he looked at me, an apologetic look on his face, like he knew something, like he knew I loved Nick. No, he couldn’t know.

I looked up to see Demi’s gaze on me. She sighed before standing. “You guys want anything?”

“Coke?” Joe asked.

“Me too,” Nick said. “But diet—“

“Cherry Dr. Pepper, I know,” Demi grinned. “Emma?”

“A coke please,” Emma gulped as if surprised Demi was addressing her.

“Sure thing,” Demi smiled at her. She turned to face me. “Um Maxie, can you help me please?”

“Yeah,” I said, getting up and following her to the kitchen. I sighed. Demi had a way of being very observant. I had first experienced it when I had gone on tour with the boys last year. She saw through my just friends act within a day. Like Joe, she refused to buy it or my constant denials. However, unlike Joe, she had a way of being more verbal about her suspicions.

“So,” she said as she opened the fridge, grabbing a few bottles of Coke, and one of Nick’s Dr. Pepper. She set them on the counter and looked at me, waiting for me to say something. I didn’t. What was I going to say? Oh hey Demi, I have leukemia so I’m going to die. Or how about I love Nick so much, that leaving him is the only thing I’m angry about with this disease? Yeah, I was sure she wanted to hear either of those. And I was sure she would tell Nick.

“So,” I repeated.

She sighed, realizing I wasn’t giving in. “You can just tell me, you know?” she cut to the chase. “I already know you love Nick.”

I groaned, leaning against the counter. “Don’t start with that please,” I begged.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Why can’t you just admit it? I mean Emma is nice and all, but we all know it’s you and Nick. That’s just how it’s supposed to be.”

I rolled my eyes. She didn’t understand. It couldn’t be like that. Yes, I loved him. There I admitted it. I loved my best friend. I loved Nicholas Jerry Jonas. But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because Nick liked Emma. And Emma liked Nick. And I wouldn’t be here much longer. I couldn’t let anything change our relationship right now. I wanted him to remember me as someone he loved. Because I knew he loved me – just not in the way I loved him.

“Demi, you don’t understand,” I told her as she continued to stare at me.

“So help me,” she suggested.

I sighed, wondering how much to tell her. I couldn’t tell her all of it, that I was sure of. “Demi, Nick and I are best friends. We’ve been best friends since we were so young I can’t even remember. I can’t change that. I don’t want to change that.”

“Want to know what I think?” she asked contemplatively.

“No,” I smirked. “But you’ll tell me anyway.”

“True,” she laughed. “I think that you want to be something more, but you see your best friend and your other best friend liking each other, and you’re scared.”

“Scared they’ll get together?” I asked skeptically. I wasn’t scared. I was just – hopefully.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not that naïve. You’re scared that you’ll tell him how you feel and he’ll blow you off for her.”

“Is that such a bad thing to be scared of?” I asked.

She sighed. “It is when it would never happen. Nick loves you too. He just – hasn’t realized it yet.”

I sighed. “Demi, I appreciate all this. But it’s not true. He likes Emma. He must have told you all about her, because I’ve brought her up to you about all of 3 times. And I definitely wasn’t ranting, which means everything else you’ve hear about her is from him, which means he wouldn’t care about me.”

“He’ll always care about you,” she said quietly.

I sighed, knowing it was true, only in a different way than I wished. But it didn’t matter. “It’s not worth the risk,” I said, grabbing the cups.

“Aren’t the risky things the ones worth fighting for?” she asked.

I sighed. “Not in my case.”

“Why not?”

“The same rules don’t apply to me,” I just shrugged.

She laughed lightly. “Fine Max, don’t tell him. Live the rest of your life miserable because you didn’t tell him how you felt.” She took the bottles and started walking back towards the living room. I stood there a minute before following her. Demi had no idea how short I would have to be miserable then.