Misery

Catherine excused herself from the locker room after Adam had calmed down and the game had ended, knowing his teammates would be coming into the room soon. She didn’t know where to look for Cam. When she had seen him after the last game against the Blues, he had been standing in the hall with his teammates.

She was fuming, almost, as she walked through the halls of the United Center. She found a security guard and practically stormed over to him, asking him where she could find the Blues locker room. He looked down at the Blackhawks tee shirt she was wearing and almost hesitated to tell her, but after seeing the look in her eyes, the one that told him she would kick his ass if he didn’t tell her, he folded.

“Just that way, miss,” He said, pointing down a narrow hallway.

“Thanks,” She mumbled out, continuing her walk to the locker room.

When she got to the visitor’s locker room, she didn’t bother to knock. She shoved the door open in a huff and looked around the room of shocked and curious hockey players.

Rolling her eyes, she asked, “Where’s Cam?”

“In the shower…” She heard from her left, to see TJ Oshie staring at her, eyes wide.

Catherine nodded and her eyes found Cam’s locker. She smiled to herself and sat down in it, waiting for him. Of course, all of the team kept their eyes on her, wondering who she was, but she figured that some of them knew who she was because they merely glanced at her and nodded their heads.

“Don’t mind me,” She told the boys. “Cam should be expecting me.”

“Are you Catherine?” TJ asked again, and she nodded, mentally cursing the fact that Cam had mentioned her to his teammates, and she couldn’t help but wonder how much they knew about her and who she was.

“He really cares about you.”

Catherine frowned slightly at the man who spoke. The jersey that had been discarded at his feet told Catherine his name was Brad Winchester, and the first thing she noticed about him was the friendly look in his eyes.

“He talks about you a lot.”

Catherine sighed, just as Cam came from the showers, a towel around his waist and nothing else. His eyebrows shot up at the sight of her sitting in his locker, a pout on her face.

“Catherine…”

“Don’t say anything, Cam,” She told him, standing up, her hands on her hips. “You shouldn’t have gone after Adam like that!”

“I know.”

“And you must have really gotten to him, because he was almost distraught after the game.”

“I know.”

“Cam! Can’t you say anything else than ‘I know’?” She asked him, getting frustrated. “What did you say to him?”

He sighed, “I told him that if he messed up one more time, even just a little. You’d be gone and on the next flight to St. Louis.”

Catherine stayed silent, and Cam kept talking.

“I really care about you, and I know you deserve better, but I can’t tell you to leave him anymore, because I can tell you’re happy with him right now…”

She nodded, “I am.”

“I’m just afraid of what’s going to be left of you when he does it again.”

Catherine couldn’t say anything. She was torn between slapping Cam and clinging onto him for dear life. She knew, unfortunately, that what he was saying was true. Sure, she knew (even if Adam held true to his promise and was faithful) that there would be times they would fight about him not doing the dishes, not cleaning, not pulling his weight around the apartment. That, she could handle. Nobody was perfect and no couple had the perfect relationship. But if Adam cheated on her again, well, Catherine was sure it would break her. (More than she had already been broken, that was.)

“Cam, I need to give Adam another chance. I love him.”

He nodded.

“I know that there is the possibility of him… hurting me again, but I just can’t bring myself to walk away from him.”

“Catherine,” He started, but she shook her head.

“I can’t walk away. Not yet, at least.”

Cam sighed and pulled her into a hug, both of them forgetting about the twenty other guys in the locker room and forgetting Cam was only covered by a towel. Catherine rested her head against his bare chest and she made a spur of the moment decision, but she knew it was the right thing to do.

“Cam?”

“Hm?” He mumbled out, putting his hands on her shoulders, slightly pulling her away from him and looking down at her.

She bit her lip and hesitated, “I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

A mix of emotions flashed over Cam’s face as soon as the words left her mouth, but his face finally settled into no emotion at all, and Catherine knew she had hurt him. Without letting her know she had hurt him, he only nodded and slowly leaned down toward her, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

Catherine gave him a light smile, as her small hand gripped his arm, squeezing slightly. Without another word, she walked from the locker room and into the hall. Just as she was about to turn into another hallway, heading back toward the Blackhawks’ locker room, Cam yelled out to her.

“I’m still here for you if you ever need me. I just want you to know that.”

Catherine gave a wider smile toward him that time, along with a small wave. Running a hand through her hair, she turned, leaving Cam standing in the empty hallway.

And even though she knew by breaking off whatever it was she had with Cam was the only way for her and Adam to move forward, she was still heartbroken by what she had just done. She was halfway to the Hawks’ locker room when she had to stop and rest herself against the cool brick wall, gasping for breath as the tears streamed down her face.

She didn’t know how long she sat there in the hallway of the United Center, but she soon felt a pair of arms lifting her into a standing position. Exhausted, she rested herself completely against the person’s body, as their arms wrapped around her.

“What happened?” The voice she recognized as Dave Bolland’s asked her.

Taking a deep breath, calming her crying, she told him, “I just told Cam we couldn’t be friends anymore.”

Dave only nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “Why?”

“If he’s in my life, I can’t move forward with Adam. I keep thinking about how perfect he is and how happy I could be with him instead of Adam.”

“Oh,” Was all Dave had to say. “I didn’t know you felt that way about him.”

“I didn’t either, until I went to yell at him for attacking Adam on the ice and all I wanted to do was kiss him.”

Dave rocked Catherine in his arms until her crying was done completely. She wiped under her eyes and fanned her face, telling Dave she was ready to head back. He nodded and grabbed her hand, dragging her toward the locker room.

When they entered, every pair of eyes looked toward them, but the only ones Catherine paid attention to were Adam’s. They lit up when they saw her, and a smile adorned his face to match.

“Hey,” He said, walking toward her.

“Hi.”

Adam laughed and wrapped his arms around her, and she mirrored his actions. She felt one of his large hands on her jaw, guiding her gaze upward. When her green eyes met his blue ones, she barely had time to look at them before they closed and his lips were pressed against hers.

“I love you,” He mumbled against her lips.

Smiling into the kiss and returning the words, the last thing on Catherine’s mind was Cam Janssen and that was exactly how it was supposed to be.