How Hard Is It To Understand…I Love You

‘‘I’m leaving Tina, going back to New Jersey.’’ I told her bluntly as I walked in the front door.

‘‘I didn’t expect you to stay anyway.’’ She said coldly as she stared as the cup of water in her hands.

‘‘I’m sorry you fell for Frank and I’m sorry that he doesn’t feel the same way back but its how life goes. Move on.’’ I told her. It wasn’t meant to be glee in my voice at those words but there was a hint of it in there.

‘‘Just leave already Marta. I’m sure your cheating lover is waiting for you.’’ She spat. But the words didn’t bother me. Even if the amount of trust I once had wasn’t all back, I knew he loved me enough not to cheat and I trusted him on that.

I walked upstairs so I could pack my possessions then called my dad, so he could arrange my trip back to New Jersey.

***

He was sad that he had to bring me home, he didn’t want me to leave my life there so he was all to happy to oblige when I asked if he would.

Thinking of the bet I had won with Mikey there was only one prize I wanted…and that was for my friends to take me back. To welcome me back into my old life again.

The same song was running through my mind as I made my way back to New Jersey.

Centuries passed and still the same
War in our blood, some things never change
Fighting for land and personal gain
better your life, justify our pain
The end is knocking
The end is knocking

We've all been lost for most of this life
(lost for most of this life)
Everywhere we turn more hatred surrounds us
And I know that most of us just ain't right
(most of us just ain't right)
Following the wrong steps, being led by pride

How many lives will we take
How many hearts destined to break
Nowhere to run, can't escape
Full of ourselves, tied to our fate
The end is knocking
The end is knocking, yeah

We've all been lost for most of this life
(lost for most of this life)
Everywhere we turn more hatred surrounds us
And I know that most of us just ain't right
(most of us just ain't right)
Following the wrong steps, being led by pride

With peace of mind so hard to find
We're dwelling on the drastic signs
Another way to numb our mind
And as you close your eyes tonight
and pray for a better life
you'll see it flying helplessly away

We've all been lost for most of this life
(lost for most of this life)
Everywhere we turn more hatred surrounds us
And I know that most of us just ain't right
(most of us just ain't right)
Following the wrong steps, being led by pride

I had been extremely lost with Frank. My life hadn’t been the same, I needed him in it to fix it all.