Second Heartbeat

I stared down at the ground.

They were all outside the door, yelling at me. I made them bring me back to Emily’s house, but I went and locked myself up in a room.

I didn’t want to tell them anymore than I just did.

They were all going to hate me, I know. I was a selfish little girl that would never grow up.

“Emma, just explain it a bit more,” Emily said.

“It can’t be that bad,” I heard Jimmy say.

“C’mon, Emma,” Johnny said.

“Emma, just let me in then,” Brian said.

What was I going to do?

They were all repeating each other, and I didn’t want to tell them anymore than I already did.

I heard a weird tapping noise, and I looked over to my right, where the sound was coming from.

It was Zacky. He was outside the window. He waved slowly at me.

I didn’t want to let him in, but he looked so damn sad that I felt bad for him. He was just worried about me, wasn’t he?

I guess they were all just worried about me then, and I was just being difficult, making it harder for them to do anything for me.

I walked over to the window, and I opened it up.

“How did you get up here?” I asked.

He shrugged.

“Emily and Johnny have a ladder,” he said.

I helped him get inside, and he grinned at me.

“I knew you would let me in,” he said happily.

I shrugged.

“I didn’t have much of a choice, did I? You probably would’ve fallen off of the ladder. You and your uncoordinated feet,” I mumbled.

“Don’t be mean, Emma.” Zacky said.

He outstretched his arms, and I walked into them, hugging him tightly.

I sighed deeply.

Even after all this time, he still smelt of cigarettes and body spray. He always smelt so good to me. Some people might’ve found this particular smell not so good, maybe even disgusting, but to me it was very comforting.

“Emma, we’re just starting a whole new relationship here. I don’t think either of us should keep any secrets. There shouldn’t be secrets keeping us apart right now,” he said. I nodded. I knew he was right; he was always right.

“Zacky, I honestly don’t even want to talk about this,” I said.

“Emma, I know you. Once you get everything off your chest, you’ll feel a lot better,” Zacky said.

It felt like I was on trail here, like I was being accused of murder. Then everyone else here was just the jury, getting ready to send me away to some far off prison or jail.

“Where would I even begin?” I asked.

“You could tell me who the father was first. Was it Charles's?” Zacky said.

He almost sounded like he was in pain, when he said Charles’s name.

I shook my head.

“Anna wasn’t Charles’s kid. He didn’t even know about her. Anna’s dad’s name was Jacob.” I said.

“Where did you guys meet?” Zacky asked.

“Peru, while I was studying abroad. He was staying in a nearby hotel.” I said.

“And you guys hit it off? Was it just a one night stand?”

I shook my head.

“No, it wasn’t like that at all. I would be able to live with myself, if it had been that.” I said quickly.

Zacky looked at me oddly. He didn’t get it. Of course, he wouldn’t.

“Zacky, he raped me.”

It didn’t seem to click in Zacky’s head because he didn’t say a word to me. Instead, he stood up and walked over to my door.

He opened the door, and everyone just stared at him.

Zacky passed them all, and he was out of my eyesight.

Did I do something wrong here? Did it click in his head? Did he not want me because I was used now?

I looked at everyone else’s expressions.

“I’ll go talk to Zacky,” Matt said quickly.

Everyone nodded.

They all walked in, and Brian and Johnny sat down next to me. Brian was rubbing my back.

“What happened, Emma?” He asked.

I shrugged.

“I’m not entirely sure,” I said slowly.

What did happen? I told Zacky that I was raped in Peru, and he walk away.

What did that even mean?

“Emma, tell me exactly what happened.” Brian said.

“We don’t wanna miss a single detail,” Emma said.

She was on her knees in front of me. Everyone else was spread all across the room.

“Well, Zacky snuck in the room with the ladder. Then he wanted me to tell him more about Anna, and I did. Then he walked out of the room,” I said.

“What exactly did you tell him?” Johnny asked.

“I told him who Anna’s dad was, and I told him… I told him that…”

That was it, wasn’t it? Zacky didn’t like that I was raped, right? Was he so disgusted by me now? Or was he just so angry that he didn’t want to be around anyone at the moment?

“What did you say?” Emily asked.

I shook my head.

“You told him that he raped you, didn’t you?” Emily asked.

I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. Our mom sure did tell Emily a lot of what happened to me. I wondered why Emily hadn’t talked to me about this earlier.

I nodded.

“Then he just walked out,” I said.

“He probably needs some time to think,” Jimmy said. Jimmy had a big grin on his face. I shrugged.

“Maybe Jim Jam,” I said softly.