Last Kiss Goodbye

As days past I never really spoke to anyone. My bunk was my new best friend, and the day that I talked to Alex consumed my mind. They guys got worried, I guess, but they didn’t say anything. I drank more than normal and puked my brains out from it. It didn’t stop me though. On stage I just played the guitar in my spot, shifting positions now and then so my legs didn’t fall asleep. During my solo I tried to look thrilled, but I failed miserably. I couldn’t be happy. I want my son.

It’s four weeks into the tour now, and I’ve only seen little Alex wandering around with my hat on his head, and playing air guitar as he ran around the backstage area while I played. Jacoby would be staying with him until I finished my set, then take him away. Sydney didn’t ever watch our set. After some sets, Jacoby would pull Alex away and I could hear him cry a little as I walked off. I felt ashamed to be his father. The son I planned to have wasn’t supposed to live like this.

Today was a show in Pennsylvania, and tour was getting close and closer to the end. I fixed up my hair, put on a bit of eyeliner, and threw on a black t-shirt and some jeans. I grabbed a beer and headed outside. Various people were running around the whole venue looking for something. I saw the rest of the guys in the band, Sydney, Mateja, Aly, all the guys in Papa Roach, all the guys in Buckcherry, and some of the crew running. It looked like a world wide scavenger hunt.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked as I ran up to Matt.

“I hate to break it to you, but Alex went missing this morning.” Matt said as he put a hand on my shoulder. My beer bottle fell out of my hand as he spoke.

“How the fuck did he get out of here?”

“Well he could’ve climbed the fence, or walked past security that keeps the fans out from backstage,” Matt suggested “I’m sorry, dude, but we got to keep looking. You should go talk to Sydney.”

“She should’ve watched him better.” I muttered under my breath, soon I felt a hand connect with my face.

“It’s not her fault. She woke up to an empty bunk across from her. Stop blaming her for fuck sake, it’s you’re fault also for the reason why you’re not together. May I need to point out the beginning of tour?” Matt spat and walked away from me. I made my way around the mass of running people to where Sydney had sat, crying hysterically. I sat down beside her and put my arm around her. I was at least trying to be friendly, instead of the stupid asshole I normally am.

“Sydney,” I began, but I didn’t know what to say “We’re going to find Alex. I know I fucked up and blamed you for everything. I’m sorry for that. I’m an asshole, but let’s get along for now just to find Alex. After that you can hate me again.”

“Okay, but only for Alex. I want him home, safe.” Sydney wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up. I called in a rental car to drive around town to look for him.

Jimmy, Mateja, and Zacky all hopped in one car while Matt, Aly, and Johnny went in another. Jacoby and the guys each split, and so did some road crew. Enterprise’s Rent-A-Car was making some money today. I drove slowly around, examining every inch of the ground. After an hour of looking, no sign of a little boy with black hair and chocolate brown eyes possibly wearing my black fedora. We called the police, and they called in search teams. It was already 1pm, and I haven’t eaten since the other day. I pulled over to the nearest fast food place, which was thankfully a Wendy’s, and rushed out of the car to the counter. I ordered two burgers, two fries, and two sodas, and then walked back out to the car.

“Here, we need something to eat if we want to keep going, and you know I get pissed when I don’t eat.” I muttered biting into my burger. She gave a slight laugh as she took a sip of her drink.

“I know, Brian, but let’s hurry so we can keep looking.” She said before taking another bite. I stopped myself before giving her a bitch attitude and ate some fries. Once we finished we headed back to the buses to check there again just to make sure Alex hadn’t come home, to find everyone gone and out looking for him. Zacky texted us he drove as far as Philadelphia and looked for him, but still nothing.

We ran into the Papa Roach bus and searched high and low, but no sign of him. Sydney sat down on the couch, putting her hands in her lap and crying. I sat down next to her and put my arms around her. I didn’t want to cry around her, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted my little boy back too. I tried to comfort her, but she ignored every word that I said. We walked back out to the car and saw Aly and Mateja running towards us, tears mixed with eyeliner running down their faces.

“They found the fedora you gave Alex; we know it’s yours because there’s a purple stripe on the inside.” Aly sobbed as she pulled me into a hug.

“Where is Alex, though?” Sydney asked, hoping they found him as well.

“That’s the thing,” Mateja swallowed “I hate to say it, but they’re searching the area now. So far they haven’t found Alex, but as for the fedora—it had blood on it.”