Cut

When Maura and I leave Group we run into the boy we saw at lunch. The one who cuts. The one like me.

He looks up at Maura and then at me. He smiles. I try and do the same but it's as if I have forgotten to.

Boy Who Cuts: Hey. I haven't seen you around here before.

You wouldn't have, I say silently to myself.

Boy Who Cuts: I'm Teddy.

He extends an arm out to me and when I do the same the sleve of my shrit goes up just enough to see a few of my cuts. I pull it down quickly and take my hand back hoping he has not seen.

We do not shake hands.

Teddy looks at me innocently like a baby might look at his mother. Confused, yet there is stilla majorconnection between them.

I look down for I cannot hold his stare any longer. I can feel his and Maura's eyes on me. Did he see? I know that Maura didn't.

Teddy: Well, I should get goin'.

I hold my breath and look up him. Now I can see clearly that his eyes are green. Green. Just like mine. He does not have black rings under eyes like so many of us here do. His smile makes my knees go weak. His teeth are white and gleeming.

Put all these gorgeous traits together and you get the perfect guy. Standing right in front of me.

Then, just like that, he starts walking down the hall in the opposite direction.

What?! You're leaving?! Did he say something about leaving? I wasn't paying attention.

As I watch him walk down the hall he suddenly looks back.

Teddy: Sorry, I didn't your name?

Me: Emma.

He smiles again. Can he hear my heart beating? He'd have to be deaf not to.

Teddy: Emma. I like it. Emma.

I smile too this time. I love it when he says my name. I don't think there's anything in the whole world I like more than hearing my name coming out of his perfect mouth.

Maura takes me by the arm and when walks my the rest of the way to our room. When we get there she finally releases me. She sits down on her bed and faces me.

Maura: I know your secret.

What?! No!

I pull the sleve of my sweatshirt down and say nothing. I am not talking to her. I am talking to the big man upstairs praying that Mauradoesn't know why I'm here.

Maura: You like Teddy.

What? Oh. That.

Me: What makes you think that?

I try to play it cool. Do I like Teddy? Teddy. Oh how I love saying his perfect name.

Okay....maybe I do.

Maura: Well, seeing as how you can't speak, breathe, or think around him....

Me: What? I can to.

No. Acutually, I can't.

Maura: Psh. Whatever. Your secret's safe with me, don't worry. But it's just....

Me: Just what?

Maura: Well....

Me: Maura.

Maura: Okay, okay. It's just that Teddy probably isn't the best person for you to like.

Who else was I going to like? Nobody comes to mind.

Me: Why not?

Maura sighs.

Maura: He....doesn't have....the best history.

Me: What? What do you mean?

Maura: It's not my business to tell.

Me: Pleeeeease.

I sound like Ben when he wants something.

Maura: You'll find out soon enough. Trust me.

Me: What do you mean?

Maura: You ask a lotta questions, Em.

I give Maura a pitiful look.

Maura: He'll tell you. I have a feeling you two will be seeing a lot of each other.

Huh?

Me: At least tell me what level he is.

Maura: One. Almost a two.

I want to ask Maura what room he is in but decide not to. I don't want to seem like a stalker.

What did she mean when she said she had a feeling he and I would be seeing a lot of each other?

I don't know. But bad history or not, that boy made me smile. I can't remember the last time I did something like that.

I lay down on the bed and try to take it easy for a moment. All that happiness has made me awfully tired.