Always and Forever

Every six months, the group had what they like to call, an all in intervention. We all going into room 31W and tell each other what bothers us about the group. Pretty much, it was one hour every six months where we bitched about each other, to each other's faces.

“Okay okay, Kelsey your turn.” Anna smiled

“Okay, Holly, I think you really should hurry up and get with Aaron. Anna, you need to get a new hairstyle, Amanda, sorry but you’re a slut and Jess, well, after what happened a few months ago I think you’re a lesbian.”

My jaw dropped. So this is how they did it. This wasn’t what they liked to call “a help session” this was a session to see who could be crushed first.

****

“I mean, I- I don’t get why they hate me so much” I cried onto Carla’s shoulder that night “I mean, everyone hates me!”

I felt Carla’s body shake with laughter “Not everyone hates you” she sighed.

“Yes they do! Mom hates me, dad hates me, the group hates me, Brendon hates-”

“Wait, what’s wrong with you and Brendon?” she wrapped an arm around me and helped me up onto a stool.

“I-I don’t know, m-mom, f-found us and I- I haven’t seen h-him since” I cried “What if they killed h-him, what i-if my mom k-killed him.” Carla laughed even more “Stop laughing at me!”

Carla tried to hold back her laughter “You mom is kind of crazy, but that’s a bit far.”

Brendon hadn’t been at school all week and I was scared. What if he didn’t want me anymore because I was fat and boring and had a horrible dress sense? I began to cry even more when I realised he had left me. It must have been when he saw me in my underwear. He probably got frightened from all of my rolls of fat. Or maybe it was because we didn’t do...it last week and I didn’t put out.

“Baby, what’s wrong” Brendon pouted wiping the tears from my cheeks with a calloused thumb.

I looked up at him and immediately knew what he wanted from me, what was necessary to keep him in my life. I was past the point of liking him, getting to know him. I was in love with him and would do anything not to lose him.

I kissed him, equalling the passion from last week.

Brendon quickly pulled away “Please tell me what’s wrong Holly.”

“I just missed you, that’s all” I smiled pecking him on the lips.

Once I was finished we immediately went home to Brendon’s. His mom was out and we were home alone. We immediately went into his room and sat down to watch a movie.

But I wasn’t here to watch a movie.

I was here to give Brendon what he wanted.

I was nervous, I couldn’t keep my breathing regular and I found my palms sweaty and shaking.

Brendon glanced over to me and pecked me lightly on the cheek “I’m going to go get some popcorn okay” he smiled “you go pick a movie.”

I closed the door as soon as I heard Brendon reach the bottom of the stairs and closed the curtains making the room completely dark. I then stripped down into my underwear and took my hair out. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I should’ve straightened my hair and worn a pair of lace underwear. I was thankful it was dark; Brendon wouldn’t see how fat I was.

I lay down on the bed while I waited for Brendon. Was it just me, or was it taking him forever to get some damn pop corn. I tried to calm myself down, breathing slower and trying to turn myself on, getting ready .

I jumped up when I heard Brendon come back inside and immediately approached him “Babe, what’s going on?”

“Nothing” I said, trying to sound seductive as I said it. I reached across and took the popcorn bag from him, putting it securely on the desk. I pulled him by his t-shirt and pushed him onto the bed climbing gracefully on top of him; well, as gracefully as you can in the dark whilst trying to stop myself from shaking with nerves and tripping over Brendon’s unmade bed sheets.

I kissed the line under jaw and ran my fingers under his top and down his chest before removing his t-shirt completely.

My hands were shaking.

A million thoughts were running through my head.

I loved Brendon, I knew that much but I’m not ready to go this far yet.

But Brendon wanted more I could tell from the intensity he kissed me lately... and from the rather large bludge in his pants. I kissed a trail down his chest and down to his tight jeans edging them down slightly. Brendon moaned bucking his hips, almost knocking me out.

“S-s-stop” Brendon breathed.

“What?”

Brendon didn’t respond so I kept on going making my up to his neck “Please...Holly...stop.”

“Why?” I asked enveloping a piece of skin in between my lips.

“Y-y-you, you don’t want this.”

“But you do” I said reaching up to his lips.

Brendon turned away and sat up “Put your clothes back on.”

“Why don’t you want me?”

Brendon laughed quietly “I’m just making sure you don’t catch a cold but if you just want to sit there looking pretty then that’s perfectly fine with me. So come on, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Yes there is.”

“I think I would know if something was wrong with me” I rolled my eyes.

“I can tell.”

“No you can’t”

“Yes I can”

“Why are you being so stubborn?”

“Because I need to know!”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Because I love you, and I care about you.”

My face broke out into a massive smile “You do?”

“Yep”

My smile grew even wider again “Good to know” I leant forwards even though my arms were like jelly and pecked him on the lips “Because I love you two.”