Facing The Future

That night after I had made sure Amelia was comfortably tucked up in bed, I decided I would stay awake a little while longer. Admittedly I was very tired but I was restless and felt the need to try and do something about this mess with her and her Mom. The way I saw it was her Mom should never have to choose over her daughter and her new man; surely it’s given that family always comes first. Blood is thicker than water. I know for a fact that my parent’s would never put myself or my Sister, Alexandra, through anything like this. It was just totally alien to me.

What I felt like doing was going round to Amelia’s “so-called” family and giving them what for but I knew this wouldn’t make anything easier between her and her Mom. I just didn’t to know what to do, let alone say, to Amelia. I couldn’t empathise with her; I couldn’t tell her I understood. All I could do was just be there for her, you know, do what best friends do. Could I leave it at that?

I must have dozed off on the sofa, for when I came to, my wine glass sat empty on the coffee table; the sediment sitting dry in the bottom of the glass. I roused with a yawn and stretched as I got up. I picked up my glass and ambled into the kitchen. I placed the glass in the sink and looked out of the window in front of me into black nothingness. I sighed as I pulled the Venetian blind to a close. Just as I turned to head back out of the kitchen I had the distinct feeling I was being watched and at just that moment, I knew I was with me in my house. There sat Molly on the sofa that I had just left. I knew I had called upon her, but didn’t realise how directly I had done so. She looked up at me with a knowing smile.

“So,” she said, “things are tough for Amelia then aren’t they?” My head started to shake slowly from side to side.

“Yup, they’re really bad.” I answered. “Yet again, you are right, but can I ask you how you actually got in here? I’m not angry or anything, just curious.”

“You called for me didn’t you?”

“Yes I did but I didn’t expect you to be here this quickly. Just ……… how?”

“You’re not going to be angry?” she asked, trepidation in her voice.

“Well, I don’t know. I can’t really say. I’ll try not to be. After all, you’re only here to help me, right?”

“Exactly!” she exclaimed.

“So; go on then.”

“Ah yes,” she stammered out, “You see, I’ve lived with you all your life. Don’t you remember that time at one of your parent’s famous Christmas parties, you bumped into me on the stairs?”

“Vaguely,” I recalled, “and you said, I think, that you were a friend of Mom’s from work.” I started to think then.

“You were 10 at the time,” she said, “and I distinctly remember you saying that you didn’t think your Mom and Dad would [i[ever have friends as old as me! Ha ha ha, it’s a good thing I have a sense of humour. 62 wasn’t that old you know.”

“Oh yeah,” I blushed, “sorry about that, but even then as now, my mouth tends to speak before my brain has chance to stop me. If it’s any kind of defence though, I was only young.”

“Quite right.” she agreed, “That night, I never left after the party.”

“What?”

“Your parents rarely used the cellar. Luckily I managed to keep myself to myself down there. You may not remember, but one section of the cellar was blocked off. Your parents never knew why and neither did they ever attempt to “unblock” it. Maybe they thought it wasn’t theirs to mess with? Am I scaring you?”

“A little, but not totally,” I replied. “It’s just all a bit strange. I can’t really get my head round it.”

“Which is understandable,” she said, “I agree that this must be very hard to contemplate, but it’s the truth. From then, I’ve been close to you ever since.”

“So, are you living in my flat now?” I asked, hoping she’d not been spying on me or anything.

“No, not exactly,” she replied, “but I do live in the building.”

“You must be close or how would you have got here so quickly and for that matter, so quietly?”

“I live in the flat across from you.”

“But surely I would have seen you coming in and out?”

“Yes,” she replied and left me even more dumbfounded, “and I’ve seen you, but remember, I can only be with you if you call me. You didn’t used to recognise me because you never needed me. You never heard me come in tonight because you’ve got more important things on your mind than listening out for the smallest sounds.”

“That figures,” I said, “so anyway, I’m hoping you’re here to help me with what to do about Amelia?”

“Yes,” she confirmed.

“Great, so please tell me – what do I do?”

**************************

After brewing a pot of tea and both drinking down the hot, sweet liquid, I explained my concerns to my older self. She nodded and shook her head in exactly the right places and when I was finally through she said, “I know exactly what you’re going through and hopefully I will be able to help.” I bloody well hoped she could. I wanted to be the very best friend to Amelia and maybe if I could tell myself what to do, I’d feel like I was.

“You will go round to Amelia’s Moms you know?”

“Really,” I replied a little shocked. “I assumed that that might make things worse.”

“You have nothing to lose by doing so Molly,” she said, “Believe me when I say that the bond between you and Amelia will never be broken. She’ll never tell you this but she would love you to confront her Mom and tell her what’s what. She needs someone to stand up to her because she knows she’ll never have the guts to do it for herself.”

“Why can’t she tell me this herself?” I pleaded sadly.

“Why do you think?” she questioned back.

“Maybe she’s scared?” I asked.

“Not just scared Molly, but embarrassed too. Scared because it’s the first time she’s been away from her Mom and her childhood home. Scared because she doesn’t really know how you’ll react. Scared you might ask her to move out after a while of living together. Scared and alone even though she knows you’ll always be there for her. She is embarrassed because she hates the fact that she cannot fight her own battle.”

I found all this pretty difficult to listen to. I didn’t want Amelia to be scared of anything, especially me. Why? I’d never do anything to hurt her. It must be awful to feel so deeply insecure. I felt tears forming in my eyes. After a few tears, adrenaline started to take over.

“What do I do then?” I asked with a new sense of power.

“You just go round to her Mom and ask politely to speak to her; in private if he’s around. You tell her how Amelia still loves her and that she still needs her Mom, but she wants that without having to have him. Tell her that Amelia wants to work things out but is enjoying being independent; enjoying living with you. You tell her that your door is always open if she wants to see Amelia, but the door will never be open for him. Finally you tell her that you will never stand in the way of Mother/Daughter reconciliation. Tell her this even though you know deep inside that this will never happen whilst he’s around.”

“I catch the drift,” I said, “And you know what? It’s kind of what I wanted to do anyway, I just didn’t know how.”

“I’ve been there and got the t-shirt girl,” she said, knowing that she probably didn’t sound cool, “and I know your heart is strong and true.”

“You’ve always know that,” I said, “After all, we are one and the same. I suppose this means I can kill two birds with one stone.”

“Oh yes,” Molly said excitedly, “You need to collect the rest of Amelia’s things. I almost forgot about that. Are we all sorted now? Are you ok for me to leave you to your bed now?”

“Yes, that would be great,” I said as I looked down at my watch. “Is that the time?” It was now 1:15am on Tuesday morning.

Molly left when she saw my eyes drooping and my attention span waning. I locked the door behind her and put the latch on before heading up to the bathroom. I went through my usual routine – brush teeth, remove make up and use the toilet before popping on my pj’s. I looked in on Amelia who was sound asleep, walked across the landing to my room and got into my own bed. As tired as I was, my mind was still going over the events of the Monday I’d just left behind and realised it was now Tuesday. I thought about Amelia and realised I was about to be doing the best thing for my best friend and I knew I wouldn’t need to ask my older self if I should tell Amelia what I’d done. I was going to – she needed to know. Today was going to be busy and more than likely, very eventful and the last thing on my mind before my eye’s closed and sleep took me was “sweet dreams Amelia, my best friend forever.”