Broken Forever

I followed her to the club. She looked beautiful. I wished I could just touch her. Well I could touch her I suppose, but I wish she could just feel it. As she and Rose walked out into the night I hugged her tightly, as tightly as I could. A smile broke out on her face. A smile so brilliant my heart soared.

They went to Sinful, one of the most popular nightclubs in the city. I followed behind them. I was relieved when it was Rose that flirted with the bodyguard. I want Genevieve to be happy, don’t get me wrong, but I want her to be happy with me.

The club was crowded and I followed closely behind Genevieve. She and Rose sat at the bar, drinking apple martinis. Rose was quickly whisked away, leaving Genevieve alone at the bar. She looks intimidating as ever. Strong, no longer broken. In those moments, before that guy came, I felt as if she was over me. Maybe she had already moved on. Maybe I just hadn’t meant enough to her. My heart ripped a bit at the center, but it didn’t quite break.

He came over purposefully. I could tell that he fully intended on fucking her. I wouldn’t, no, I couldn’t, let that happen. I watched silently, right beside her, as he placed his hand on her leg and flirted. He bought her a drink. It was torture. Then they mentioned me. Her voice was sad when she told him what had happened to her boyfriend, me. He pretended to be sad but I knew what he was thinking. A vulnerable, beautiful girl looking to feel better.

That’s when Rose did something I never thought she would do. She pulled that motherfucker onto the dance floor. It killed me more than the crash had to watch them dance together. I would’ve been alright if they had been dancing normally, but they were grinding. I watched Genevieve. She had a hungry look in her eyes. I had seen that look before and I knew what she was going to do. Without hesitation her mouth collided with his. Jealousy burned within me, and I felt myself slipping, falling, disappearing. I went in between them and began to punch him hard in the mouth. My strength was fading. Finally he screamed and the kiss was broken.

Genevieve fell to the floor and, instinctually, I went to help her up, but then I remembered that she couldn’t see me. Couldn’t me. Couldn’t feel me. She looked embarrassed, as if it was her fault. I watched her apologize and then, she gave him her number!

She ran outside and I must admit I was surprised when she started yelling at the heavens. “Ben! What the hell! Why? Please come back or just let me live! I can’t spend my entire life with someone I just have to hope is standing by me! I can’t do this much longer! People will think I’m crazy!” She ripped my heart a bit more.

She was hysterical as she ran home. I felt terrible, but she had to know that I was trying. I had been working on writing her a message for three days. I was getting stronger with it. The words were faint and each word became more legible, as if I was breaking through to the world just a bit more with every stroke of the pen.

When she arrived back at the apartment she went for the liquor cabinet. We had never owned much alcohol, but we made sure to always have a bottle of the cheap stuff laying around. Genevieve was already tipsy, and I predicted that with two more glasses she would be drunk. I hurriedly returned to my desk. The message sat there, almost finished. I read it over.

I’m here, it’s me, Ben. I haven’t broken Forever, I will return to you. I love you with all of my heart. Stay strong. I will find away to come back to you. Love forever, Ben.

It had taken me three days to write this message, but the last few words had only taken an hour. I was stronger. I grabbed the notebook and threw it once more. Genevieve looked up from the newspaper she had been poring over and looked at the message.

“Oh Ben. I know you will. I know.” She hugged the notebook and laid down on the couch. I kissed her hard on the cheek so she would get a light sensation, and walked out of the apartment.

This new “community” scared me, but it also amazed me. To think that so many people’s loved ones were so near, but so untouchable, it was heartbreaking. There were a few children that wandered the streets. Some called for their mothers who were probably still living, searching for her missing child. I did notice some children from missing signs. There were young people, but they didn’t show their faces much. From what I had figured out there was a hotel where many “ghosts” met and talked about their situations. They must have been trying to find out how to come back.

I walked into the hotel, I had nothing better to do while Genevieve slept. There had to be at least two hundred people err… ghosts in the main room alone. They chatted noisily and laughed amicably. I suppose even if you died your social life didn’t have to. It was just like a normal life except it couldn’t end. No matter what. This was the life of the dead.

“Hey handsome.” A woman, a beautiful woman, wrapped herself around me. Her blond hair clung to my shirt. She was beautiful in the complete opposite way from Genevieve.

Her dark green eyes seemed to hide a century of secrets. She was more sexy than beautiful. A one night stand. Her red dress clung to her immaculate body in all of the right spots. Her eyes were heavily lined, and her eyelashes, though not as long as Genevieve’s, were still long. Her red lipstick made her all that more enchanting. She smelt like expensive perfume and champagne.

“I can tell your new. You don’t talk much.” She giggled and nipped my lip. She had me paralyzed.

“Yeah, I’m new. My name’s Ben.” I backed away and smiled, offering her my hand to shake. I looked like such a loser.

“That’s a beautiful name. I’m Celeste.” She giggled and came stepped closer to me. She was beautiful, but I had come here for a reason.

“I was wondering who runs this…community.” I coughed. I didn’t quite know what to call it. Celeste smiled brightly.

“Oh so you want to see the head guy. A lot of people do. Lucky for you, I like you. I’ll try to set it up. Be right back.” She giggled, kissed me on the cheek and was gone.

I watched as she sashayed up the staircase. Her hair was curled and she truly was beautiful. Her luscious red lips and green eyes, made smoky by eyeliner and eye shadow. She was a temptress. A girl that got what she wanted easily from men.

Within seconds she had reappeared. “He said to come upstairs so that he can talk to you. You interest him Ben.” She bit her lip, as if stopping herself, and pulled me with her up the stairs.

The architecture of the building was beautiful. It was so immaculate and decorated in such a careful way. A way people didn’t have any “time” for anymore. It made you feel as if you had been taken back to the time when swingers and mobsters thrived. Where flappers and showgirls crashed after a long show. The 1930’s wild nightlife came alive. Gold trim lined the walls, the carpet was soft. Everything was beautiful.

“Right in here. Don’t be afraid.” Celeste pushed me into the room and lightly nipped my ear. She was persistent that’s for sure.

The room wasn’t very well lit, but I could make out a form in a chair. He didn’t move, but a light turned on beside him. The man was broad and, not a very big surprise, good looking, by a man’s standards. His grey eyes were haunting and he looked severe, all sharp angles.

“What can I do for you?” Surprisingly, his voice was smooth, not harsh. However, his smile did nothing to make me feel at ease.

“Well I’ve recently, passed away.” I cleared my throat. I could only imagine how many people came to him with this problem.

“You haven’t passed away, you’ve progressed! This world is far grander, more exciting, than any other. You left behind your dull life for one of light and joy! No work, just play. Unless you wish to work that is.” He cried enthusiastically.

“Oh yes, it’s a beautiful world, but you see-“ The man cut me off before I could finish.

“Let me guess. You’ve left behind a wife or child and you want to return to them.” He smiled knowingly.

“Well not a wife, or a child, but an almost fiancée.” I confessed. I thought the man would laugh. Tell me that there was no chance I could go back to her. That all hope was lost.

“It is rare that we manage to return to the ‘real’ world. Very rare. The only way you would know you have even the smallest chance is if you can communicate with humans in any way.” The man looked at me hesitantly.

“I believe I can sir. I have already written her two notes, although they did take a very long time.” I confessed. I thought the man would attack me, throw me in prison for communicating, but instead of anger, his face showed amazement.

“You have communicated with this girl?” He narrowed his eyes at me in disbelief.

“Yes I have. Would you like to see?” I knew he would want proof.

“Yes of course! But first my name is Vincent Warner. May I ask yours?” He stuck out his hand.

“Ben Turner, sir.” I shook his hand and motioned for him to follow me.

I ran out of the hotel and into the apartment. Vincent was right behind me. Genevieve was sitting on the couch, glass of wine in hand. She looked beautiful. Her sandy blond hair tumbled in waves around her. Unkempt, but beautiful.

“She’s quite the beauty. I could see how leaving her behind would be hard.” Vincent chuckled. He ran a hand through Genevieve’s hair.

“Yeah. Here I’ll show you.” I grabbed the notebook and pen. I just wrote one simple word. Each letter traced over three times with the pen. It simply said hi.

I threw the notebook, not with as much of a crushing force, but with some force so that it flew to Genevieve’s feet. She gasped and picked it up.

“Hi Ben.” She smiled dreamily into the distance. She didn’t sound drunk, so my guess was that she wasn’t.

“That is truly amazing my boy! Write something else.” Vincent cried excitedly. His eyes shone with the revelation.

I took five minutes to quickly write I love you and throw it back to her. She read it again and held it tightly to her chest.

“I love you too. Please come back soon.” She sighed and put the notebook back on the desk.

Vincent came over to me and patted me on the back. “Good job, my boy. We could use you for great things.” Vincent smiled and pulled me out of the apartment with him.

In the blink of an eye we were back in his office. It was well lit now, bright and happy. Vincent sat back down in his chair and motioned for me to sit down in one as well.

“I’m guessing that you wish to return to her.” Vincent leaned back in his chair and crossed his hands behind his head.

“Well of course. I love her with all of my heart.” My tone was desperate. I needed to return to her, with or without this man’s help.

“Well Ben, for all medical intents and purposes, you have no heart. You lost that when you left your body. But you see, it is the heart of the soul that let’s you feel such intense emotions such as love and hate.” I didn’t care for Vincent’s little “ghost” lessons. I just wanted to go back to Genevieve.

“You know what I mean. I love her and I want to return to her.” My voice was serious and dry. I was not in the mood for joking around.

“We’ll see what we can do for you, but for now you should return to your apartment. There is nothing we can do immediately.” His smile was kind, but I wanted to hurt him nonetheless.

“Yeah, sure. When should I come back?” Ben shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He had hoped for a quick solution, a very quick one.

“Oh don’t worry. We’ll come to you my boy.” He smiled and ushered me out of his office. I wanted to object, but if I did I might never get helped by him.

He slammed the door as soon as I was outside of the office. Celeste was there, waiting for me. She was wearing a lacy shirt and shorts. Very short shorts. Her blond hair was straight now and her red lipstick remained. She was smoldering, and I had a feeling that’s what she wanted me to think.

“So, what happened? Are you leaving me already?” She threw herself up against me and raised her thigh. We were pressed against the wall and her lips weren’t even an inch from mine.

“Not yet. He said I have to wait. He needs to figure things out I guess.” My instincts told me to push her off, but I was paralyzed by her sweet breath and perfect body.

“That’s too bad. At least now I have time to show you my job around here. It’s really fun.” Celeste giggled and pulled me up closer against her, if that was even possible.

“Uhm sure.” I agreed apprehensively. Something told me not to trust Celeste completely.

“Hold on tight. I wouldn’t want to lose you.” She giggled and pulled me even closer. There wasn’t a part of us not touching.

Suddenly the world started to blur around us. Celeste giggled.