I Have Loved, and I Have Lost

“Dad, I don't want to go!” I screamed, slamming my bedroom door shut and locked it.

I wasn't going, and that was final.

“Silver, you're going whether I have to drag you onto that plane myself. Maybe this will teach you a lesson seeing as grounding you just makes you rebel even more.” He stated through the door.

I sighed heavily, he just wasn't understanding what I was saying, was he?

“Guess you'll be escorting me to the plane then, pops.” I replied, sarcasm dripping from every word.

I heard him sigh and storm downstairs.

Maybe I'd gotten through to him. Although, I highly doubt I ever could when that evil snob was around to remind him to 'punish me and stop being such a push-over'.

Stella is my step-mom aka wicked witch of Southern California, in my eyes anyway.

I thought evil step-mom's only ever existed in fairy tales, you know, like Cinderella etc, etc.

I wish Stella only ever existed in a fairy tale. I'd swap with Cinderella any time. Stella was probably the most horrible, stuck up, snobby, pompous.. I could go on forever. Basically, she's just a fucking douche.

Then again, only ever to me. She's fine when it comes to her precious little daughter Veronica, aka mini-Stella.

I sort of pitied her though. I mean, what sort of mother calls their daughter Veronica? It's just plain mean.

Ronnie's my age and Dad thought we'd get along great, although, I knew better than that. We attend the same school in sunny California and have been since we were little, she's always been in a few of my classes. We'd never really spoken before and I wish it had stayed that way. She was exactly like her mom, a stuck-up little snob. She pretended to be all goody-two shoes around my dad and Stella, doing her homework when she was told to, keeping her room in perfect condition – seriously, everything was practically in alphabetical order, color coded and in piles of material types. Then, when they weren't around she was either sleeping with any guy who would give her a second look or attending cheerleading practice, which her mom had no idea about and would kill her for.

“S, c'mon honey. Stop being like this. Why can't you be more like Veronica? Then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be sending you to go and live with your aunt in England.” Dad said calmly through the door.

Ha! What a joke. If only they knew the real Ronnie. I think she'd be the one getting sent to live with someone else. I'd look like a fucking saint.

I wish my mom were here. Then things wouldn't be like this. She'd died three months ago, yes, just three. She had cancer and couldn't fight it anymore, despite her strength and bravery. Dad had moved on so quickly, 'bumping' into Stella at a book store and 'instantly falling for each other'. I mean, what a load of shite!

And a book store, how dull. That'll be an awesome story for the grandchildren!

Anyway, Mom died, Dad met Stella, instantly fell in love, moved her and that brat in and now we were here.

Sure, I'd gone off the rails a bit lately. Bunking off school, my grades had dropped dramatically, coming home drunk pretty much every weekend, and that's if I came home at all. I tend to crash at my boyfriends house most of the time. Apparently sending me to a completely different country, a completely different school with completely different people would straighten me out and get me back on track again.

This was going to be very interesting.

&&

I sat on the wall outside and waited for Chace to come and pick me up. It was boiling hot and the sun was just beginning to set, the sky a perfect pinky/orange color. I was going to miss this sort of weather. It definitely wasn't like this in England, that's for sure. Most of my wardrobe consisted of tiny shorts and little cami tops, like I was wearing now. Chace pulled up a few minutes later and I jumped up, climbing into the passenger seat of his car.

“Hey beautiful,” He smiled, kissing my cheek.

I smiled back weakly at him as he pulled away from my house, driving towards our place.

“Wanna quick swim?” Chace suggested, smiling against my lips as he interrupted our heavy make-out session that had moved to the back seat of his car.

A huge grin flashed across my lips and I nodded, jumping out of the car. Chace followed and we both stripped down to our underwear. He came over to me and picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he walked into the lake, both of us giggling against each others lips.

The cold water surrounded our bodies and I shivered, kissing his lips lightly. I didn't want to leave him, I was going to hate it. I bit my lip nervously – thinking about how to tell him.

“What's wrong baby?” He asked, concern evident in his tone. He could read me like a book.

“I-I need to tell you something.” My voice came out in a barely audible whisper.

“Silver, what's wrong?” His eyes were worriedly searching my face for any clues. He probably thought I was about to tell him that I was pregnant or something.

Tears left my eyes and trailed down my cheeks as the setting sun heated them.

“My dad's making me move to England.” I sobbed, my voice breaking.

“W-what? You can't! Why would he move you to England? What about us!?” He threw questions at me frantically, his arms tightening around my waist as if I were about to leave right then.

“He thinks that if I go and live with Lily, you remember my aunt right?”

He nodded slowly in response.

“He thinks I'm going off the rails and that sending me there will straighten me out.” I sighed as he wiped away my tears.

“What's gonna happen with us?”

I didn't know the answer to that.

“I-I honestly don't know Chace.” I sighed, burying my head into his neck. “Do you wanna just.. I dunno.. stop dating. Or do you wanna see how it goes?”

“I don't know baby. I love you so much, I just hate the idea of you being miles away.” He sighed, pecking my lips softly. “We could give it a go though. You'll visit a lot, right? I mean, you know my mom and dad are happy for you to stay with us.” He continued as I nodded silently, kissing him again.

“When do you leave?” He asked, his voice quiet as he pressed his forehead to mine as we floated in the freezing water.

“In two days.” I whispered, looking across the lake as I held back tears.

The sun was shining beautifully onto the water, creating thousands of little diamonds scattered across the waters surface. It was too beautiful for words.

“Fuck.” Chace choked out, resting his head on my shoulder. “I'm gonna miss you baby.”

“I'm gonna miss you too, Chace.” I whispered, closing my eyes.

We'd always come here when we wanted some alone time or time to talk. It was our place.I didn't want to let go of him, knowing it was the last time he'd hold me like this like he'd done many times before in this lake.

&&

“Right, have you got everything?” Dad checked for the millionth time.

“Dad, I'm seventeen not four. Goodbye.” I sighed, hurling my carry-on over my shoulder.

He pulled me into a tight hug, I think he was crying.

Oh please, suck it up and be a man. You're the one sending me away for crying out loud. I thought.

“I love you sweetheart, don't forget that.” He whispered, letting go of me and wiping his eyes.

“Yeah, love you too dad.” I turned around and walked towards the gate in an attempt to hide my tears.

I was leaving everything behind here; my boyfriend, my friends, my school, my dad, my memories.. the whole lot. All thanks to Stella and Veronica.

I took my seat on the plane and shoved my earphones into my ears, scanning my iPod for a decent song; This Turbulence Is Beautiful by You Me At Six would do for now.

This flight was definitely going to drag on.