I'll Bite the Bullet

Beau’s POV.

He pressed my back against the wall, letting my tongue glide softly across his lower lip; I kissed him deeper that he had been doing when our lips met about 65 seconds ago. The brick wall behind me was oh so cold on this dark night, but the sparks flying between mine and his lips were oh so warm. I ran my fingers through his hair as he moved his lips from mine and down to my neck, where he slowly nibbled, causing my knees to go weak.

I don’t know what it was about him… His adorably dorky smile. His big, blue eyes. The way he would look at me as we were walking by each other, acting as if we were nothing other than best friends. The way he kisses my lips. His screams when he was standing next to me on stage. Or, how safe and secure I knew he felt when I had my arms wrapped around him. Whatever it was… all I know is that I, Beau Mark Bokan, am utterly, absolutely, and downright in love with Jared Michael Warth.

After his lips met back up with mine, and we had decided we were done with our affair for the night, he hugged me tight, gave me a small kiss on the forehead, let me go, and began to walk away. All I could do was stand there, with my back against the wall, eyes shut and my smile from ear to ear. Oh god, that boy makes me the happiest I possibly could be; I swear.

In his kiss, and his embrace, I could tell that he felt what I felt for him. Throughout these last five months, I never thought my heart would beat as much as it has. Or that I’d have such a strong yearning to have somebody around me every waking second of the day and every silenced hour of the night. But, through these last five months, I’ve also had to learn how to control my feelings and actions. Being around Jared all the time has had to come with some sacrifice. We spend about 9 months of the year around three of our best friends… who all have no idea about mine and Jared’s secret obsession with each other.

With that, we have to be able to contain ourselves anywhere we go, unless it’s in our bedroom, a hotel bed, the back of the tour van, or, as a while ago, up against a wall. It was hard. Some days it felt literally impossible. I constantly wanted to be attached to him. To feel the sanctuary in which I never wanted to abandon me. I could go on for hours and hours, in my head, about my feelings for him. The only thing was, I had to keep them in my head. Never would I dare say any of them out loud.

I stood there for about five minutes, enfolding myself in my thoughts, when all of a sudden I heard the clearing of a throat. I shot my eyes open to look into the eyes of Eric, the guitarist of mine and Jared’s band, Blessthefall.

“Earth to Beau…” he waved his hand in front of my face. “Beau, hello?” I shake my head and look at him, instantly wiping the smile off of my face.

“Yessssssssssss?” I look at him and raise my eyebrow.

“We’re gonna be taking off from here shortly. So, be at the van in fifteen minutes, okay?” I nod my head at him; he pats my shoulder and walks away. I follow him, not too far behind. I pull my Sidekick out of my pocket, and look at it. 6 new text messages. Fuckkkkkk. I click on the icon; all of them are messages from Jared.

I love you, Beau Mark Bokan.

Honey, you gonna come over to the van?

Beauuuu?!

Baby, where are you?

Is everything okay? I just peeked around the corner, and you weren’t stand there. At least I think it was the corner I met you at. Ugh. Fml.

Fuck it, I’m sending Eric to get you.

I smiled a when I looked at the messages, and chuckle to myself. He is such a sweetheart. Goddddd! Once I get over to the van, I just climb into the very back seat and make myself confortable. Seconds later, Jared is sitting next to me. He smiles at me and situates all of his belongings for the next 7 hour drive.