A Ghostly Romance

"Dani," my mom said from the doorway. 

I glanced over my book at my mom. "Yes?"

"Kevin's here," she said. "He figured he'd stop by."

"Okay," I said, using one of my already used iTunes cards as a bookmark. I heard my mother's footsteps receding down the stairs. I sat up in my bed, not really feeling like moving. It's so weird not having Michael around. I sighed and finally stood up, dragging myself down the stairs.

"Hey, Dani," Kevin said, flashing a smile that would have made me melt weeks earlier. Now he was just another person. There was only one person (if you can even call him that) that I wanted. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah," I answered monotonously. "That tends to happen when you live far away from someone."

"You okay?" he asked. "You don't seem like yourself."

I shrugged, thinking how strange it would sound if I told him I was in love with a dead guy. But he was so much more than that...

"Yeah, so I figured I could hide out from Amelia over here," he said, hoping to start a conversation and end the awkward silence. "If it's okay with you of course."

"Its fine with me," I answered. "I'd want to avoid her too."

Kevin laughed quietly. "So what do you want to do?"

I shrugged. "I don't really feel like leaving my house. Want to go to my room?"

He nodded and started up the stairs towards my room. I followed behind him, closing the door behind us.

"So how've you been," he asked, making small talk.

"Fine, I guess. What about you?"

He shrugged. "Amelia's been acting bitchier than before. It used to be a turn on but now it's starting to get annoying."

"Oh?" I replied, interested.

"She yells at me if I even think of looking at another girl. She gets jealous easily...she's so insecure."

"What're you going to do about it?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. I mean, she's been my girlfriend for a year. Should I really just leave her? I mean after all this time spent on our relationship?"

"If you're not happy but you stay with her, you're preventing yourself from meeting other people that could make you really happy," I explained. "It's pretty simple."

"Yeah," he said knowingly. A small smile crossing his handsome face. 

I returned his smile and sighed. I really missed Michael...from the corner of my eye I saw Kevin moving closer to me. I turned to see him leaning towards me slowly.

Is he going to kiss me? I wondered, feeling indifferent. I wasn't nervous, excited, or happy. I was just...there. Even as his lips pressed against mine softly, I didn't feel anything. I kissed him back, of course, but not because I had feelings for him. It was only because, after getting used to all these years without it, I realized that I want affection. Anything would be nice. Especially with Michael...I pressed my lips harder against Kevin's, finally getting into it. No, I don't feel anything got Kevin. But, in my mind, it wasn't Kevin I was kissing. It was a certain pale, black-haired guy with dazzling blue eyes...

I deepened the kiss, wrapping my arms around "Michael's" neck, running my fingers through his hair. His hands were on my waist, pulling me closer to him. This is really nice, I thought, feeling Kevin open his mouth slightly. I copied him and the next thing I knew was his tongue was in my mouth. 

I opened my eyes a little, losing interest in this little "why don't I pretend I'm kissing Michael?" game. Kevin continued  kissing me, unaware of my lost interest, and I mirrored him. Through my slightly open eyes I saw Richard standing by my door (which was once closed) with his mouth hanging open in surprise. Richard, although I could feel anger slowly bubbling inside me, wasn't the one I was focused on. It was the ghost standing next to him that I couldn't take eyes off of. I was so surprised to see him that I didn't move. Actually, my lips kept moving against Kevin's in disbelief. 

It really couldn't be Michael, I thought. There was something different about him. I hadn't seen him in weeks. Maybe ghosts change too? It wasn't long before I figured it out. He wasn't smiling like he always was. His usual sparkling eyes appeared dull, almost dead looking, and seemed to look at me with disapproval. His jacket, usually closed so I wouldn't see the gunshot wound, was wide open. The dark, red stain surrounded the deep hole in his chest, where his father shot him five years earlier in the heart. Only this time, it seemed to scream at me accusingly, "you might as well have done this to me." This was the first time it was very clear for me: he loved me too. 

I guiltily pushed Kevin away from me, feeling like the worst person in the world. I looked back at the doorway and saw only Richard, standing by himself, walking back to his own room down the hall. Michael was nowhere to be seen. I looked at my hands in my lap, not really minding if Michael came back right now. It was too painful to see him like that. Especially since it was my fault. Maybe he wasn't even there, I thought. Maybe I was subconsciously feeling guilty for kissing Kevin and so I imagined him there. Somehow that idea didn't seem likely. 

"You alright?" Kevin asked. "You're looking paler than usual."

"I'm fine," I mumbled, rising to my feet. "I think you should go now."

"Is it because of me?"

"No," I said, leading him downstairs to the front door. "I just need some time alone."

"Tell me what I did wrong," he said, holding me at arm's length. "I thought you wanted me too. That's why you told me to break up with Amelia."

"Just leave." 

And with that he turned around and walked towards his car, speeding in the direction he had come, leaving me alone. I closed the door and ran upstairs to my room, feeling uncontrollable sadness. Tears streamed freely down my cheeks, happy to be released after all these weeks. I sobbed into my pillow. I miss him so much. How could I do that to him? How could I have hurt him like that? 

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****MICHAEL'S POV****   

I made sure to be as relaxed as possible, allowing my molecules to spread the farthest they could possibly go, before going into Dani's room, where I had seen her kissing Kevin moments before. I felt jealousy rage within me. Unable to keep control myself, I had to leave. She would see me if I didn't leave right now. I went back to the attic space above Dani's closet, where I always went. I tried to calm myself down, but nothing I did was working. Jealousy, pain, and lonelines was all I felt right now. Why couldn't I be the one kissing her? Why was this happening to me and not anyone else? I wasn't one to regret things in my life, but this was the first time I really wished my father hadn't killed me. The sick bastard ruined my life.

I stayed in the attic for hours, trying to ignore the quiet sobs from down below and my urge to help her stop crying.

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She is going to pay, I thought angrily, throwing all the things on my desk onto the floor. Whatever was in my reach I threw onto the ground. That bitch is gonna pay. Who the fuck does she think she is? Doing that to me. No one does that and gets away with it. Just as I was going to knock down my bookshelf, I stopped to look at a picture frame with me and my girlfriend smiling at the camera. Quick flashes of us went through my mind. Us at Starbuck's. Us studying for exams. Us hanging out after football and basketball games. No. I thought, throwing the frame on the floor, glass shattering. There is only one girl I want, I thought. I walked towards my bed, feeling shards of glass stab into my right foot, leaving a trail of blood towards my bed. There is only one girl I want and I am going to have her. Whether she likes it or not.