Good Man

"For nothing is fixed, forever and forever and forever, it is not fixed; the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock. Generations do not cease to be born, and we are responsible to them because we are the only witnesses they have. The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out."
- James Baldwin



Estelle was more than surprised when she received a phone call from her stepmother, Caroline, out of the blue a few days ago, asking the seventeen year old to come out to New York for her Easter break. As first, Estelle was hesitant, and not because she didn't want to go, but because she was unsure of why Caroline was making contact with her now, after all this time.

Sure, she'd received phone calls on Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as Christmas gifts by way of FedEx, but that was pretty much it. Aside from those three moments, it was as if Caroline and her little brother and sister had fallen off the face of the earth.

And yes, she missed her stepmom and siblings like crazy and was ecstatic at the prospect of seeing them all again, but she was also extremely angry and held a bit of a grudge. Though, Estelle felt that as soon as she saw her late father's widow, she wouldn't be able to stay mad; that all bitter feelings would either be pushed to the dark recesses of her mind and heart, or they would be forgotten altogether.

After Estelle had agreed to come for the visit, Caroline had informed her that the plane ticket was already purchased and all she had to do was head to the Metropolitan Oakland International Airport and to catch her flight that would lead her to her destination.

And on Friday, April 18th, Estelle was sitting in her First class seat from Oakland to her first layover in Salt Lake City which lasted only two hours. From there she moved through Salt Lake City International Airport with her carry-on satchel strapped over her shoulder, glancing at her cell phone to make sure she was on time to her departing gate for her next, connecting flight to Detroit. On that flight, she was once again seated in First class.

Caroline hadn't scrimped. But then again, in Estelle's entire life, she'd only ever flown First or Business class, depending on the plane, because her father never flew anything less, given that he could always afford the best.

So, when her flight from Detroit to Burlington, Vermont turned out to be an Economy class seat, she was somewhat shocked. Not in the stuck-up way, but in the 'whoa, so this is coach and I have to sit next to that guy?' way. And as she sat in her window seat, staring out the window at the star-littered night sky, she yawned and let her eyes droop as she found herself growing tired of all the traveling. It was just after 10:30 at night and the pilot had just come over the speaker to announce they would be touching down at Burlington International Airport.

She knew Caroline would be waiting for her at the other side of the security barrier. However, Mikey and Chloe wouldn't, being that it was too late at night for them to be up and around. And Estelle couldn't help but wonder why Caroline wasn't in Buffalo instead. The flight would've been shorter, that's for sure.

What was in Burlington?



About thirty minutes later, Estelle was dragging her feet as she carried her satchel in her hands. She was on the phone with her mother, Anastasia, informing her she had arrived okay and was about to meet up with Caroline and that she'd call her the next day when she was rested to give her more details on how her flights had all gone.

As she passed through the security barrier, she craned her neck, looking for her stepmom, weaving in and out of the thin crowd of passengers; some she'd just shared a flight from Detroit with.

And then she heard it.

"Stella!" her name was called.

Focusing her dark eyes, Estelle finally spotted Caroline and the first thing the teenager noticed was how fuller the older woman looked. Had she gained weight? Was she just wearing baggier clothes?

And sure enough, all of Estelle's bitter feelings seemingly disappeared just as she figured they would. Her mouth formed a wide, excited smile reminiscent of the one her father always seemed to wear and her arms went just as wide as she ran up to Caroline and through her arms around her stepparent.

"Oh god, I missed you so much," Estelle cooed, reveling in hugging Caroline. She had always loved the older woman, even when she was dating Uncle Tre, eight years prior. She had adored Caroline's lovable quality, her humor, her talent...

"I know," Caroline murmured in response. "I'm sorry for that." Pulling her stepdaughter away at arms' length, she looked the seventeen-year-old up and down with an incredulous smile. "Did you grow a foot? You're nearly as tall as your father was, I think."

Estelle laughed. "Well, not quite. I'm 5 foot 8. Close, but no cigar."

"Still taller than me. When did that happen? Where did the little girl go?"

"She grew up."

"Tell me about it." Then as an afterthought, while linking her arm through Estelle's, Caroline added with a twinge of rue in her voice, "Your dad would be so proud at how grown-up you are."

Estelle simply smiled as she and Caroline looped their arms with one another and made their way to the baggage claim. Having only one suitcase, lugging it to Caroline's car in a parking garage was an easy task. They walked side by side; Caroline going unnoticed by the general public who would probably know who she was in the light of day and not after eleven at night in an airport in Vermont.

When they were in her car, which Estelle learned was Caroline's father's, she finally turned to the older woman once they were on the road.

"So, why Burlington? Why are you here and not in Buffalo?"

Caroline kept her eyes on the road as she replied, "It's the closest major airport that isn't municipal."

"Closest to where?"

"Peru," came the answer. "The town my father lives in."

"Your birth father," Estelle deduced, knowing full well that Caroline's adoptive parents, Paul and Joanne, still lived in Oakland and visited their granddaughter Avarielle very often, and even Estelle on occasion, since the teen had become their step-granddaughter. "But, why are you here? Why aren't I visiting you in Buffalo for Easter?"

"Because I'm staying here for the time being."

"Did something happen to the house in Buffalo?"

"My God, Stella, give Buffalo a rest," Caroline snipped; wincing afterward. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bite your head off there. It's just...the reason I'm here is a little complicated."

Looking back toward the dark road before them, Estelle sank back into her seat. "I can handle complex, Care. You can tell me anything." Before she gave her stepmom a chance to reply, she continued on. "I mean, shit. You walked away from everyone in the Bay area who loved you and came to Buffalo like a hermit. Uncle Billie reached out to you, then you ditched your band and retired from music. You never even called Uncle Tre to see how Avarielle is doing, how your mom and dad are doing?"

The tears Estelle was hoping were going to stay away suddenly began to sting at her eyes. Caroline looked over at that moment and frowned, a pang of guilt deep inside her chest.

"You didn't even care about what was going on with me!" Estelle cried. One tear fell but she managed to hold the rest in. Ever stoic like her father.

"Honey, I'm so sorry. I know I was selfish in what I did, but I...I guess I snapped in a way. I didn't know how to handle everything that was going on. I thought I was starting to get better after we lost your dad, but then Giselle..." Caroline trailed; a lump forming in her throat. Clearing it away, "It felt like one thing after another. I lost my husband, the father of my children," she spoke quietly, gripping the steering wheel, then added, looking over to Estelle, "All of them."

"I lost him, too."

"I know. But...then I lost my sister, my best friend since forever. Literally. One moment she was okay, rejoicing in finally being able to have a child, and the next doctors are telling us she died. Just like that. And I couldn't deal. Mentally, emotionally...I couldn't come to terms with losing someone else. So, I left it all behind in Oakland and I came to Buffalo. I thought, maybe I could start over. Maybe I could forget anything bad happened if there were less reminders of what I lost."

Estelle frowned. "Yeah? How'd that work out for you?"

"Not so well." Caroline made a turn onto a thruway on-ramp and watched the other minimal amount of traffic both leaving and coming into Burlington at night. "I had reminders everywhere I went, no matter what I did..."

"What have you been doing all this time? How are Mikey and Chloe?"

"I've been keeping busy with the two of them, until recently. Changes were made."

"Changes like what?"

"You'll see."

"Caroline..." Estelle muttered almost breathlessly. "What will I see?"



It was sometime after midnight when the front door creaked open to the home of Alexander Leveille. Caroline entered in first with Estelle in tow, carrying her satchel and dragging her suitcase. Caroline turned off the front porch light from inside and locked the door behind them as they piled into the living room.

Estelle inspected her surroundings, which were dark. She couldn't tell what room they were in exactly until Caroline walked over to another switch on the wall and flicked it upward, turning on the overhead light and revealing the rustic living room.

"Where am I sleeping?"

"Well, the couch folds out into a bed. Then there's the couch downstairs in the finished basement that does the same thing. It's your call, really."

Estelle paused, considering. "Downstairs, I guess."

"Okay, come this way." Moving around to the hallway, they silently passed the closed door to Alex's bedroom and the door next to it. Caroline pointed at it. "Mikey and Chloe are sharing that room in there."

Estelle just nodded as she maneuvered down the narrow, spiral staircase into the basement while trying to be as quiet as possible as she lugged her luggage. Once they both touched down to the basement floor, Caroline gestured for the teen to set her belongings down.

"Now, you might wake up in the middle of the night to some sounds you might be surprised to hear so I thought I'd forewarn you, to prepare you at what I told you you're gonna see..."

Estelle made a face. "You make it seem like I'm gonna see some horribly deformed beast holed up in a cage."

Smirking somewhat in the dark, Caroline placed a hand on her stepdaughter's arm, her eyes serious. "Nothing like that, but you're gonna be surprised nonetheless and be riddled with many questions, but just promise you'll be very quiet."

"Okay," Estelle murmured with a nod of her head.

With that, Caroline slowly led Estelle to her bedroom door which she pried open as quiet as a mouse. As Estelle entered in, she tried letting her eyes adjust to more darkness just as Caroline walked over to a dresser, grabbed a matchbook and tore out match which she struck against the rough strip, igniting a small flame. She lit three candles and blew out the match. Estelle followed Caroline's movements the entire time before the older woman gestured to the other side of the room with a nod of her head.

Turning her own head, Estelle's eyes fell suddenly upon the sight of two bassinets, set side by side, complete with sleeping infants inside each.

"Oh my god, what..."

Caroline watched Estelle's reaction, biting her bottom lip and folding her arms across her chest. She could feel the anxiety bubbling in her gut.

"Care, you had twins?" Estelle turned back to Caroline for a moment before leaning down at a better look at the babies who looked so peaceful and adorable amidst their slumber.

Caroline nodded. "Yes."

"How? I mean, who with?" To say Estelle was stunned would be an understatement.

"Your father," Caroline lied for the umpteenth time about the paternity.

Scrunching up her nose and casting Caroline a confused look, Estelle was practically groping for the right words to form a question. "But...that's impossible. He's dead." She swallowed a lump in her throat when she said those words. She didn't like saying them out loud if she could help it. She missed her dad like crazy.

"It was in vitro," came Caroline's rehearsed explanation. "He donated to a sperm bank in the event that something would happen where we wanted to have more children and he couldn't help me do it."

"But it..."

"I know, it's selfish to have brought children into this world to never know their father," Just like I don't know who he really is, she thought. "But I wanted more of your father to live on and I didn't think anyone would accept my decision if I'd told them ahead of time; that they would've talked me out of it," she lied some more.

"My god."

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about any of this. I'm sorry I ignored you and kept you in the dark. I'm sorry I abandoned you when you still probably needed me. I---"

"Caroline."

"I let you down," Caroline whispered, and clearly crying, her eyes pleading through the candlelight for forgiveness as she closed the gap between her and her stepdaughter.

"Caroline," Estelle spoke again.

"Yeah?"

Estelle's eyes floated over toward the infants. "What are their names?"



Two days later it was Easter Sunday and Alex had prepared a holiday dinner like no other with the help of Caroline and Estelle while Timmy and her husband, Seth, who had traveled from one county over to spend it with her family instead of his, tended to the children in the living room while everything was being set up in the kitchen. Timmy and Seth each held one of the babies, Lakota and Rhiannon, while the older Pritchard children, Mikey and Chloe, were running around in circles, chasing each other, completely hopped up on sugared candy and chocolate from their Easter baskets.

During dinner, which was a nice ham garnished with pineapple slices along with side dishes of potato salad, green beans, a fresh garden salad and buttered rolls, Caroline occasionally stole glances at Estelle who was so enthralled with her new brother and sister.

The sad, but funny, thing about it all was how Estelle would coo over how Lakota's nose reminded her of her dad's or how Rhiannon's chin was so her father.

Oh, Estelle, if you only knew the truth, Caroline sighed inwardly.

The only other person in the room, aside from Caroline, who knew the truth about Mike not being the father by way of in vitro, was Timmy, and Caroline knew Timmy would take the secret to the grave is she was asked to do so. Or, until the twins grew up and they began to resemble whoever their real father was.

Caroline wished to put that day off for as long as humanly possible.



Some four thousand miles away, give or take a few hundred, Tre was throwing Avarielle up into the air and catching her; each time he caught her, placing a series of smooches on her chunky cheeks. The little, 10-month-old giggled and slapped her father's face, then giggled some more.

She was dressed so adorably in a frilly, pink dress that Tre, himself, had insisted on her wearing, complete with white socks with lace and white, patent-leather shoes. At the top of her head, with what amount of hair she had, Ellis had somehow managed to successfully tie a small pink ribbon in the little girl's hair which complimented the tiny pink gemstone earrings in her ears.

Something of which Ellis had tried to dissuade Tre of having done; insisting Avarielle was too young for earrings.

He had two replies to that. The first was a simple, "Ramona's ears were pierced at this age and we never had a problem with it."

His second response? Well...it was more of a classic Tre one.

"Earrings at this age? That's nothing. Wait two months until her first birthday when she gets her first of many tattoos," he teased. "Next stop is teaching her how to hold her liquor."

Ellis simply shook her head and began taking pictures of father and daughter, then some more shots of Tre with all three of his children; Ramona having come back to the bay area from Los Angeles for the holiday and Claudia having brought a nearly thirteen-year-old Frankito over to spend the entire day with his dad and his dad's family, instead of his mother and her family.

At one point, later in the evening, when Ramona and Frankito, along with their father's parents and Giselle's parents Paul and Joanne...oh, yeah, and Ellis, Tre had wandered down into his studio with Avarielle on his hip. He sat down behind his drums, grabbing two drumsticks and placing them in both of her hands; then holding onto her hands to make sure she kept her grip on them. With her in his lap, he had he banging on the drums while exclaiming above her head how great she was doing.

"Yay, Ava, yay! Bang the shit out that drum, baby! Woo!"

Avarielle tipped her little head back and smiled with unconditional love up at her daddy, which caused his heart two swell about ten sizes.

"I love you, honey," he muttered, kissing her head. "I promise I will be the best father I can to you and I will not ignore you like I did after your mommy went to heaven with Uncle Mike."

Avarielle let out a screech-like yelp of elation as she hit a drumstick against the snare drum, as if she'd had a momentary attack of the crazies.

Tre smirked. "I will never let you down again."