Duck and Cover.
1/1.
“And you say you want me back,” Bert scoffed, slapping my hand away.
“I do!” I cried, reaching toward him again, only to have my hand slapped away for the second time.
“You’re an asshole, Way, you really are.”
Bert’s words stung and I wanted to retort with words that would cause enough damage to bring him to fucking tears. “What do you want me to do, Bert? Get down on my hands and knees and beg? If that’s what you want then you’ll get it.”
Bert glared at me with stone angry eyes, obviously wanting to yell and scream. But he spoke in a deadly calm voice, filled with malice, “no, I want you to leave.”
I was so angry, so ready to reach out and slap that stupid expression from his pretty boy face. To wrap my fingers in his tangled black hair and thrust his head into the wall. To…to fucking hurt him.
“I won’t leave, forget it. Just tell me what your problem is.” I threw my arms up in the air, fucking annoyed with the petty arguing. It was pointless, much like toddlers squabbling over who gets to stick the flag on top of the sandcastle. Not that that comparison was anything like the situation now.
“You just don’t get it, do you? I. Want. You. To. Leave, alright? So fuck off!” Bert shoved me a little, throwing me off balance for a moment. Fucking little bitch.
“What the fuck is your problem? I don’t know what’s wrong with you; yesterday we were fine – happy even! The only reason I’m still here is because I love you, you know I love you.” The tears I wanted Bert to cry were now forming in my eyes. Fucking bitches.
“Love? You think you love me? What kind of deluded fantasy world are you living in? You know exactly what you’ve done anyway!”
“If I knew what I’d done we wouldn’t be arguing like this would we?” I cried, punching the wall behind me with enough force to leave a small dent.
Bert jumped a little but carried on screaming, “what did you do just fucking moments ago?”
“Stop yelling at me!” I shouted, not liking his tone.
Bert just laughed cruelly. “You hypocritical fucker. Do you need a tissue? Or maybe an orchestra of violins? No, wait! Allow me to call a fucking wah-ambulance for you.”
I just stared at him, begging the small tear in the corner of my eye not to fall. I could feel it welling up, my eyes starting to sting from trying not to blink so it wouldn’t fall.
“If you want me back, you’re going to have to ask nicer than that,” Bert whispered to the ground, opening the door and gesturing for me to leave.
Did he think it was that easy? To just show me the door? Yeah, I don’t fucking think so. He was crazy if he thought I was just going to leave. I mean, did he think that I was going to leave without a fight? Who did he think I was all this time?
I fucking fight for what I want until I fucking get it and I want him.
“I’m not leaving, Bert,” I said quietly. “You know I won’t.”
“Gerard, just go. Please? We can deal with this in the morning, when we’ve both calmed down, okay?” Bert pleaded, his tone changing abruptly. He was quiet, soft, and gentle now. Bi polar little bitch.
“Go? You want me to just…go? I don’t fucking think so. You know I can’t do that. Tell me what I’ve fucking done,” I said, grinding my teeth until I was sure there’d be none left of them.
“Gerard, please. Just go. We can talk in the morning and we’ll sort it out. We’ll sort it out,” he said, a few tears now dribbling down his cheeks.
“No,” I whispered, letting my tears fall as well. “I won’t, I can’t.”
“Leave or I’ll have to call your brother and get him to come and get you. Just leave Gerard!” he sobbed, trying to push me out the door.
“Bert!” I screeched as he tried to close the door on me. “Don’t you fucking do this, don’t you fucking dare!”
“Go away Gerard!” he shouted, his voice breaking on my name.
He finally got the door closed and I hit at it with my fists, every part of my body that I could. I threw myself against it hoping it would break, but it didn’t. I screamed his name over and over, my voice starting to become hoarse.
The skin on my knuckles was slowing disappearing, leaving them raw and red. Tears fell incessantly, like small waterfalls on each of my flushed cheeks. I felt like an idiot when I collapsed in front of the door, cradling my hands on my kneeling legs with my forehead resting against the door.
Sobs raked their way up my throat and bubbled out, high-pitched yet gruff.
But the door still remained firmly shut.
“Let me in,” I sobbed, pressing the entire side of my face to the door. “Just let me in, baby. Let me in, we’ll just talk, I promise!”
I could hear people talking down the hall, the nosey assholes. They were always up for any form of gossip and I’m sure I was providing good quality for them.
“Go away,” I screamed, not even turning my head. I think they left because from then on I didn’t hear any more talking –or more like gossiping–, just me sobbing to myself, all alone out the front of Bert’s apartment.
It could have been hours for all I know before Bert finally opened the door. All I remember is him dragging me inside completely exhausted from crying and throwing myself against the door. I had purpling bruises, raw bleeding knuckles, an extremely sore throat and an aching heart. Not to mention I was entirely exhausted.
“You promise to stop?” Bert whispered to me when I finally woke up, sleep sticking my eyelids together. I felt like I was swimming in mud, my body wouldn’t respond to anything I asked it to do. So I just grunted like a neanderthal.
“You need to stop, Gee. If you throw one more thing at me, whether it be small or big, I will either make you leave or leave myself. You need to stop, Geebaby. You need to stop, okay?” He brushed a lock of hair from my eyes, stroking my cheek a little.
“Mmmk,” I mumbled, wanting to tell him how much I meant it, but I couldn’t. My voice was almost gone from the hours of screaming and crying.
“Ssssh, ssssh…” he soothed, as my eyes began to well with more salty tears that I thought would have run out by now.
“I said if you want me back, you’re going to have to ask a little nicer. And, in your own way, you did,” he smiled softly.
I sat up; using all the strength I could muster in my exhausted state and pressed my lips to his. My tears mingled between our lips, giving a very different flavour to the usual cigarette taste.
“I love you,” I murmured softly when we broke apart. Then I let myself fall heavily backwards and sighed, already exhausted.
Bert’s smile widened, making the corners of my lips curve upwards. My eyelids felt heavy, like they had lead weights dragging each one closed, and then the last thing I remember is him humming a tuneless song softly into my ears before I fell back to sleep.
“I do!” I cried, reaching toward him again, only to have my hand slapped away for the second time.
“You’re an asshole, Way, you really are.”
Bert’s words stung and I wanted to retort with words that would cause enough damage to bring him to fucking tears. “What do you want me to do, Bert? Get down on my hands and knees and beg? If that’s what you want then you’ll get it.”
Bert glared at me with stone angry eyes, obviously wanting to yell and scream. But he spoke in a deadly calm voice, filled with malice, “no, I want you to leave.”
I was so angry, so ready to reach out and slap that stupid expression from his pretty boy face. To wrap my fingers in his tangled black hair and thrust his head into the wall. To…to fucking hurt him.
“I won’t leave, forget it. Just tell me what your problem is.” I threw my arms up in the air, fucking annoyed with the petty arguing. It was pointless, much like toddlers squabbling over who gets to stick the flag on top of the sandcastle. Not that that comparison was anything like the situation now.
“You just don’t get it, do you? I. Want. You. To. Leave, alright? So fuck off!” Bert shoved me a little, throwing me off balance for a moment. Fucking little bitch.
“What the fuck is your problem? I don’t know what’s wrong with you; yesterday we were fine – happy even! The only reason I’m still here is because I love you, you know I love you.” The tears I wanted Bert to cry were now forming in my eyes. Fucking bitches.
“Love? You think you love me? What kind of deluded fantasy world are you living in? You know exactly what you’ve done anyway!”
“If I knew what I’d done we wouldn’t be arguing like this would we?” I cried, punching the wall behind me with enough force to leave a small dent.
Bert jumped a little but carried on screaming, “what did you do just fucking moments ago?”
“Stop yelling at me!” I shouted, not liking his tone.
Bert just laughed cruelly. “You hypocritical fucker. Do you need a tissue? Or maybe an orchestra of violins? No, wait! Allow me to call a fucking wah-ambulance for you.”
I just stared at him, begging the small tear in the corner of my eye not to fall. I could feel it welling up, my eyes starting to sting from trying not to blink so it wouldn’t fall.
“If you want me back, you’re going to have to ask nicer than that,” Bert whispered to the ground, opening the door and gesturing for me to leave.
Did he think it was that easy? To just show me the door? Yeah, I don’t fucking think so. He was crazy if he thought I was just going to leave. I mean, did he think that I was going to leave without a fight? Who did he think I was all this time?
I fucking fight for what I want until I fucking get it and I want him.
“I’m not leaving, Bert,” I said quietly. “You know I won’t.”
“Gerard, just go. Please? We can deal with this in the morning, when we’ve both calmed down, okay?” Bert pleaded, his tone changing abruptly. He was quiet, soft, and gentle now. Bi polar little bitch.
“Go? You want me to just…go? I don’t fucking think so. You know I can’t do that. Tell me what I’ve fucking done,” I said, grinding my teeth until I was sure there’d be none left of them.
“Gerard, please. Just go. We can talk in the morning and we’ll sort it out. We’ll sort it out,” he said, a few tears now dribbling down his cheeks.
“No,” I whispered, letting my tears fall as well. “I won’t, I can’t.”
“Leave or I’ll have to call your brother and get him to come and get you. Just leave Gerard!” he sobbed, trying to push me out the door.
“Bert!” I screeched as he tried to close the door on me. “Don’t you fucking do this, don’t you fucking dare!”
“Go away Gerard!” he shouted, his voice breaking on my name.
He finally got the door closed and I hit at it with my fists, every part of my body that I could. I threw myself against it hoping it would break, but it didn’t. I screamed his name over and over, my voice starting to become hoarse.
The skin on my knuckles was slowing disappearing, leaving them raw and red. Tears fell incessantly, like small waterfalls on each of my flushed cheeks. I felt like an idiot when I collapsed in front of the door, cradling my hands on my kneeling legs with my forehead resting against the door.
Sobs raked their way up my throat and bubbled out, high-pitched yet gruff.
But the door still remained firmly shut.
“Let me in,” I sobbed, pressing the entire side of my face to the door. “Just let me in, baby. Let me in, we’ll just talk, I promise!”
I could hear people talking down the hall, the nosey assholes. They were always up for any form of gossip and I’m sure I was providing good quality for them.
“Go away,” I screamed, not even turning my head. I think they left because from then on I didn’t hear any more talking –or more like gossiping–, just me sobbing to myself, all alone out the front of Bert’s apartment.
It could have been hours for all I know before Bert finally opened the door. All I remember is him dragging me inside completely exhausted from crying and throwing myself against the door. I had purpling bruises, raw bleeding knuckles, an extremely sore throat and an aching heart. Not to mention I was entirely exhausted.
“You promise to stop?” Bert whispered to me when I finally woke up, sleep sticking my eyelids together. I felt like I was swimming in mud, my body wouldn’t respond to anything I asked it to do. So I just grunted like a neanderthal.
“You need to stop, Gee. If you throw one more thing at me, whether it be small or big, I will either make you leave or leave myself. You need to stop, Geebaby. You need to stop, okay?” He brushed a lock of hair from my eyes, stroking my cheek a little.
“Mmmk,” I mumbled, wanting to tell him how much I meant it, but I couldn’t. My voice was almost gone from the hours of screaming and crying.
“Ssssh, ssssh…” he soothed, as my eyes began to well with more salty tears that I thought would have run out by now.
“I said if you want me back, you’re going to have to ask a little nicer. And, in your own way, you did,” he smiled softly.
I sat up; using all the strength I could muster in my exhausted state and pressed my lips to his. My tears mingled between our lips, giving a very different flavour to the usual cigarette taste.
“I love you,” I murmured softly when we broke apart. Then I let myself fall heavily backwards and sighed, already exhausted.
Bert’s smile widened, making the corners of my lips curve upwards. My eyelids felt heavy, like they had lead weights dragging each one closed, and then the last thing I remember is him humming a tuneless song softly into my ears before I fell back to sleep.