I like the way the reader is thrown straight into an argument at the beginning, because it gets straight to the point and it also stirs up interest immediately. People are always nosey, whether they admit it or not, so they’ll always want to know what’s happening and what the cause of the argument they’ve been given an insight into is about.
I was so angry, so ready to reach out and slap that stupid expression from his pretty boy face. To wrap my fingers in his tangled black hair and thrust his head into the wall I like this bit. I think either here two techniques would have been really good. There was the option of despite there being an argument, seeing each other still as beautiful – or the fact that at that moment in time they cannot stand each other, which you have pulled off extremely well.
He finally got the door closed and I hit at it with my fists, every part of my body that I could. I threw myself against it hoping it would break, but it didn’t. I like this bit because it almost confronts the harshness of reality. It also shows the desperation of Gerard, which I think is good as it shows us how passionately he loves Bert.
“I said if you want me back, you’re going to have to ask a little nicer. And, in your own way, you did,” I like this bit, for me this is the cutest part of the story because Bert finally realizes that Gerard does love him.
I like the way the reader is thrown straight into an argument at the beginning, because it gets straight to the point and it also stirs up interest immediately. People are always nosey, whether they admit it or not, so they’ll always want to know what’s happening and what the cause of the argument they’ve been given an insight into is about.
I was so angry, so ready to reach out and slap that stupid expression from his pretty boy face. To wrap my fingers in his tangled black hair and thrust his head into the wall I like this bit. I think either here two techniques would have been really good. There was the option of despite there being an argument, seeing each other still as beautiful – or the fact that at that moment in time they cannot stand each other, which you have pulled off extremely well.
He finally got the door closed and I hit at it with my fists, every part of my body that I could. I threw myself against it hoping it would break, but it didn’t. I like this bit because it almost confronts the harshness of reality. It also shows the desperation of Gerard, which I think is good as it shows us how passionately he loves Bert.
“I said if you want me back, you’re going to have to ask a little nicer. And, in your own way, you did,” I like this bit, for me this is the cutest part of the story because Bert finally realizes that Gerard does love him.
It was awesome!
Dr Seuss xx