Status: On hiatus. When it will be back, I don't know. If it will ever bet back, I don't know. For now, it's on a hiatus and in the back of my mind. Sorry. It has to be this way.
So Young and Desperate for Attention
Chapter 22
I remembered that one night Jon made me cry and I'm sure I'll never forget it. My phone rang again but once again, I didn't answer. I decided to read the only voice mail I had gotten in weeks from Jon.
“Hey Spencer. Just thought I'd call...see how you're doing. I'm sorry f-for making you c-c-cry. I'm not going to beg you anymore...I understand that you don't love me...you don't want me. I get it, I'm just your friend from now on. So, please call me?” he sounded like he was trying not to breakdown himself. I closed my phone and threw it across the room. If it hadn't hit Brendon in the back of the head it would have broken against the wall.
“What the h-” he stopped what he was saying when he saw the tears in my eyes.
“He's not even trying” I said before laying back and closing my eyes. Ryan and Jon were still across the hall but Jon left me alone. So I thought. Brendon and Ryan were out for the day doing god knows what when there was a knock on the door. I had fallen sleep a few hours ago. I rubbed my eyes and opened the door only to see Jon again.
“Hey” I say. It was awkward, just like that one time.
“Hi...” he said. His voice was barely above a whisper which means he's deeply hurt. We sat on opposite hotel beds and we didn't even look at each other. When I looked up at Jon he was crying.
“Jon...what's wrong?” I asked. He just shook his head before laying down and turning his back to me. He might be right there and in the same room with me but it feels as if he's miles away inside. I stood up before laying down next to him.
“I don't want to hurt you and I never meant to in the first place.” he said in between sobs.
“I know...I'm such a jackass...” I say.
“No, you aren't. You're perfect. You deserve someone better then me” he said.
“I'm so perfect that it makes me imperfect. I'm done fighting this but I'm not going to go full speed. I want to take this as slow as we can because I'm still terrified.” I say before rolling him on to his back and crawling on top of him, straddling his waist. I kissed him then. He didn't kiss back at first but then he did. Thank god Brendon didn't come back that night...well I think went into Ryan's room at least.
“Good morning beautiful” he said. I blushed.
“Good morning” I say. There was a knock on the door that made me stand up and put my clothes on quickly. I let Jon do the same thing before opening the door. Brendon looked at the two of us and he smiled.
“What?” I ask
“You two fucked each other...which means you two are together” he said. I blushed and walked into the bathroom. I heard Jon and Brendon talking.
“If you break his heart again I will break your face” Brendon said
“I'm not going to...Spencer is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me.” Jon said. I couldn't help but smile. I got out of the shower and walked out into the room to grab my suit case. I went back into the bathroom after I grabbed boxers, a shirt, and a pair of jeans. I walked out and sat down next to Jon. Brendon smiled before laying down on the non-sexed up bed, as he put it, and closed his eyes. Jon left to go take a shower.
“He really loves you Spencer.” he said
“I know...and I can't believe I just fucked him because now I'm going to fuck this up...” I say
“Why?” he asked.
“Because....I'm terrified of being in a relationship with him but I can't hide the fact that I love him as much as he loves me” I say
“If you two really love each other then you'll work this out and in the end everything will be great.” he said.
“What about you and Ryan?” I asked. It fell silent in the room. We said goodbye to the guys and I noticed Brendon tense up when Ryan hugged him. I saw Ryan look at him apologetically before just smiling and saying 'bye'. I walked by them and pushed Brendon onto Ryan. They fell into the grass and their lips collided with each others. Brendon is going to kill me. I know this as a fact. A few hours later on the bus Brendon was ignoring me.
“You know you loved it” I say
“Fuck you” he said. Someone's grouchy.
“That's Jon's job” I say. Brendon smirked and I realized what left my mouth. I blushed and went to my bunk. I didn't come out for the rest of the day but I did text message with Jon. Hopefully pushing Brendon onto Ryan wasn't a mistake...I wonder how Ry is taking it?
When do you think it'll all become clear?
“Hey Spencer. Just thought I'd call...see how you're doing. I'm sorry f-for making you c-c-cry. I'm not going to beg you anymore...I understand that you don't love me...you don't want me. I get it, I'm just your friend from now on. So, please call me?” he sounded like he was trying not to breakdown himself. I closed my phone and threw it across the room. If it hadn't hit Brendon in the back of the head it would have broken against the wall.
“What the h-” he stopped what he was saying when he saw the tears in my eyes.
“He's not even trying” I said before laying back and closing my eyes. Ryan and Jon were still across the hall but Jon left me alone. So I thought. Brendon and Ryan were out for the day doing god knows what when there was a knock on the door. I had fallen sleep a few hours ago. I rubbed my eyes and opened the door only to see Jon again.
“Hey” I say. It was awkward, just like that one time.
“Hi...” he said. His voice was barely above a whisper which means he's deeply hurt. We sat on opposite hotel beds and we didn't even look at each other. When I looked up at Jon he was crying.
“Jon...what's wrong?” I asked. He just shook his head before laying down and turning his back to me. He might be right there and in the same room with me but it feels as if he's miles away inside. I stood up before laying down next to him.
“I don't want to hurt you and I never meant to in the first place.” he said in between sobs.
“I know...I'm such a jackass...” I say.
“No, you aren't. You're perfect. You deserve someone better then me” he said.
“I'm so perfect that it makes me imperfect. I'm done fighting this but I'm not going to go full speed. I want to take this as slow as we can because I'm still terrified.” I say before rolling him on to his back and crawling on top of him, straddling his waist. I kissed him then. He didn't kiss back at first but then he did. Thank god Brendon didn't come back that night...well I think went into Ryan's room at least.
“Good morning beautiful” he said. I blushed.
“Good morning” I say. There was a knock on the door that made me stand up and put my clothes on quickly. I let Jon do the same thing before opening the door. Brendon looked at the two of us and he smiled.
“What?” I ask
“You two fucked each other...which means you two are together” he said. I blushed and walked into the bathroom. I heard Jon and Brendon talking.
“If you break his heart again I will break your face” Brendon said
“I'm not going to...Spencer is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me.” Jon said. I couldn't help but smile. I got out of the shower and walked out into the room to grab my suit case. I went back into the bathroom after I grabbed boxers, a shirt, and a pair of jeans. I walked out and sat down next to Jon. Brendon smiled before laying down on the non-sexed up bed, as he put it, and closed his eyes. Jon left to go take a shower.
“He really loves you Spencer.” he said
“I know...and I can't believe I just fucked him because now I'm going to fuck this up...” I say
“Why?” he asked.
“Because....I'm terrified of being in a relationship with him but I can't hide the fact that I love him as much as he loves me” I say
“If you two really love each other then you'll work this out and in the end everything will be great.” he said.
“What about you and Ryan?” I asked. It fell silent in the room. We said goodbye to the guys and I noticed Brendon tense up when Ryan hugged him. I saw Ryan look at him apologetically before just smiling and saying 'bye'. I walked by them and pushed Brendon onto Ryan. They fell into the grass and their lips collided with each others. Brendon is going to kill me. I know this as a fact. A few hours later on the bus Brendon was ignoring me.
“You know you loved it” I say
“Fuck you” he said. Someone's grouchy.
“That's Jon's job” I say. Brendon smirked and I realized what left my mouth. I blushed and went to my bunk. I didn't come out for the rest of the day but I did text message with Jon. Hopefully pushing Brendon onto Ryan wasn't a mistake...I wonder how Ry is taking it?
When do you think it'll all become clear?
♠ ♠ ♠
This chapter was short and I do have a feeling that it sucked.I told you guys I couldn't write that great. Thanks for reading.