All I Ever Wanted

My hearts racing and I don’t know what to do. My hands are gripping Alex’s waist and we’re slowly kissing on his bed. I just know that this is going to go farther than we usually go. I just have that feeling. And I don’t know how to tell him to slow down.

We’ve gone pretty fare lately… we haven’t had sex, but I’d say we’re in between 2nd and 3rd base… actually, I don’t even know what that means. I don’t know where we are, but I know we are definitely not anywhere near ready to have sex… I’m not, at least.

“Alex…” I manage to say, slightly pushing his shoulder back.

He leans up and looks down at me with a confused look.

“You okay?”
“Um, yeah. I just… can we talk really quick?”
“Yeah…. Sure.” He sits up and runs a hand through his hair. “What’s up?”
“We’ve only been dating for like a month and-”
“If you’re not ready for something, you have to let me know. Okay? I don’t wanna do anything that you don’t.”
“I mean, I like you a lot, and I don’t know your view on sex and whatever, but I’m just nowhere near ready to take that step. At all.”
“Okay. We’ll slow it down. And besides,” he lies back and stares up at his ceiling. “I’d rather not do anything anywhere close to sex right before going to my mother’s house…”

I can’t help but laugh and be slightly disgusted at the same time.

“You’re so gross.”
“I’m just saying. It’d be really awkward. Wouldn’t you think?”
“I guess so… Do you think your mom will like me?”
“Of course she’ll like you. I like you. And my dad will like you too. He likes everybody, though. But my mom’s very… I don’t know how to explain her. But she just wants me to be happy. And trust me,” he leans in and kisses me hard. When he pulls away, I find myself lightheaded. “I’m so happy with you.”
“Same…” I manage to whisper.

I think I more than like him.

“I’m even happier that you’re happy with me. But we gotta go if we want to be on time… Are you ready?”

He hops off the bed and extends his hand to me. Can’t turn back now, can I?
“Yeah. I’m ready.”

“So, Alexis what are your parents like?”

I should have prepared myself better for that question… Of course they would ask it.

“Oh they’re great.”

I don’t have anything else to say about them. This is bad. I smile at Alex’s mom. She’s in her early 50’s, I think, and she has a really pretty face. And Alex’s dad is seated next to her; he and Alex look a lot alike.

“What does your dad do?”
“He’s the vice-president of an advertising agency. My mom used to be a realtor but she stopped when she had my oldest brother.”

Alex’s mom smiles and nods; she’s nothing but nice and I can tell how much Alex loves her. She must have been a huge part of his life growing up; probably still is.

“How many brothers do you have? Alex told me you have a few.”
“I have 5. The oldest is Jacob; he’s 25. And the youngest is Daniel who’s 10.”
“What about the rest of them?”
“Um, Steven is 22. Max is 20, and then comes me, then James who’s 14.”

I feel Alex grab my hand under the table; it calms me down a bit.

“And you’re close with them?”
“Yeah, we’re all like best friends…. Most of the time, at least.”
“Sometimes I wished Alex had a younger brother or sister. But I think he grew up okay.”

She gets up to get us more water and on her way to the kitchen she messes up Alex’s hair. She’s the type of mother I wish I had.

“So, that was okay, right? I think they liked me, but I’m-”
“Alexis. Chill. They love you. I know they do. Okay?”

I nod, but I don’t really believe it. I’m always like this; always nervous about if people like me or not. I can never tell.
Alex and I are in my kitchen. It’s 5:30 and I’m making my lunch for school tomorrow. Well, at least I’m trying to. Max keeps eating whatever I take out of the refrigerator.

“Can you like not eat everything you see, please?”
“I’m a growing boy. I need to eat, Lex.”
“Oh, please.”

The front door opens and a few seconds later it slams shut. I think that it’s Kasey and Jake, but it could be my parents. Whoever it is goes into the TV room. I hear the low buzz of the TV come on.

“I have a serious problem.” I hear Alex say and Max answers with a ‘what?’
“I told my band I would get us a gig, but I haven’t yet.”
“I can get you one!”

I turn around from the counter and see Max pulling out his cell phone.

“I know the owner of ICE. That club downtown? They always need bands. I can get you in.”

He dials a number and is quickly on the phone with someone, talking a mile a minute.
“Did that seriously just happen?” Alex asks, looking at me with an amused look.

I smile.

“Max knows people. I don’t know how, but he gets into pretty much every club without waiting on lines.”
“What do you do on weekends?”

Max waves off the question and continues to talk to the person on the other end of the phone line. It must be going well because he has a smile on his face.
“Ok, awesome. Thanks,” he says and hangs up. He looks at Alex with a grin.

“Your band plays in three weeks. January 9th.”

The date is familiar, but I can’t remember why. I feel like I have something to do that day.

“Wow, thanks, Max! I gotta go tell the guys.”

He gives Max one of those ‘guy hugs’ and then comes over to me.

“I’ll call you later, ok?”
“Promise?”
“Of course.” His lips touch mine only for a second before he’s pretty much out the door. Before it closes he yells out a ‘Thanks Max!’
“Thanks for doing that for him, Max. I’ve been hearing him complain about nobody giving them a gig for like weeks.”
“No problem. The guy owed me a favor.”
“Seriously, what do you do on weekends? How do you know these people?”
“Free sex?”
“You’re so gross.”
“I’m kidding. You don’t need to worry about it, though.”
“You’re not a drug dealer, are you?”
“Only when I really need the cash.”

He laughs and makes a run for the TV room before Steven and Kasey take it over completely.