What you get me into

I skated onto the ice.

"He is worried about you." Alexei said. I heard his voice inside my head.

I did not answer him. I thought that everyone of my teammates would think I was crazy. I do not want to look like I should be in an asylum. I do not want to be the weird one.

"They will not think you are insane. Why will you not tell them I do this to you?"

"They do not need to know." I whispered.

"Oh, but darling, they must know. You must tell them."

In an instant I watched my body fall to the ice and was sitting in the rafters with Mr. Cherepanov himself. Players crowded around me. Evgeni looked very worried.

"Evgeni cares about you. That is why you must tell him."

"No. I fear that he will think I am not a normal girl. Why can he not just be left out of it. Alexei my teammates fear the worst for me. They fear I am sick. They threaten to take me to a hospital. I miss you dearly Alexei but can you not do this while I sleep?"

"If I do this while you sleep you will remain tired. Please Alexandra let me be with you."

"Why can I not stay with you up here forever?"

"You are too happy down there."

"I would be happier if I was with you."

"Oh Alexandra, do not make this hard. I have to let you go. I am so sorry my love. It is time to leave me once more. Goodbye darling."

"Goodbye dear Alexei."

I was staring up at where I had just been sitting. People were crowded around. Evgeni had tears in his eyes.

"I am ok."

"Why does this keep happening?" Evgeni asked.

"I am sorry. I cannot explain."

"You know why?" Evgeni asked.

"Of course. I am not worried about this because I know why it happens."

"Tell us." he begged.

"All you must know is that I am alright. Do not worry about me. He would not let anything happen to me."

"He?" Evgeni asked.

"I have said too much." I said. I skated off the ice and down the runway. I heard him following me. I reached for the door and a hand caught my wrist.

"Alexandra....." he started.