Remind Me That We'll Always Have Each Other

I don't know how long I was out for, but when I opened my eyelids, John's lean body was hovered over me.

"Um . . . Hi?" My voice was still thick with sleep.

"Do you know what time it is?"

I rubbed my eyes and took a minute to sit up, before glancing at the alarm clock beside the bed.

"Almost midnight,"

Fuck, I hadn't realized I had been out for so long. How in the hell did that happen?

"Midnight . . . Midnight, Kaydence, and you've been sleeping this whole day!" He told me, his voice a tad bit crude.

"I didn't realize that I had slept for so long, John, I'm sorry. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"There were a lot of fans, more than we expected, and I didn't have time to come back and change or anything. Jared, however, did come back to grab a change of clothes for me, and he said you were sleeping. I figured okay . . . you're just taking a quick nap, maybe the road trip really wore you out. But for fuck sakes, Kaydence! I called and texted you at least thirty times! Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?"

"John, I-"

"No, you don't! It's not like I can just rush off stage, or blow off a concert, Kaydence! I have to stand there, put a happy face on, and act like I'm not completely worried about my girlfriend who could be passed out or unconscious in our hotel room!"

At this point, he's not even trying to hide the fact that he's angry with me, and I can't blame him. His eyes scream sadness, but his face shows a completely different emotion - fury.

"John, babe, I'm sorry . . . I just lost track of the time! I wanted to come see you! I wanted to be there to support you!"

He sighed and stood up straight, pinching the bridge of his nose, with his thumb and index finger .

"Kaydence," he licks his lips as if he's thinking hard and runs his hands through his hair, "I don't know if keeping you here on tour is such a great idea."

My eyes widen and I jump off the bed, completely angered that he would even say that.

"Because I fucking slept?!"

He tried to grab my hands, but I pulled them away from him, crossing them over my chest.

"Baby, you know it's not just that," His green orbs are filled with agony, and I look away from him.

"I don't know what you're talking about, John,"

He grabs my hand again, and this time I let him. He pulls me close to his body, and I allow mines to melt into his chest. I bury my face in his neck, and let the tears seep out of my eyes.

"Kaydence, you're still . . . sick, aren't you?"

I only nod my head, too afraid to look him in the eyes again. He must think I'm some sort of coward, or even a hypocrite. Because that's what I am; I try to help girls with the very same problem that I can't even help myself with.

He rubs the small of my back with his hands, and I continue to cry into his neck.

"Shh, it's okay, babe, I'm here," He coos in my ear, and it only makes me cry harder.

How in the hell is it that John is still by my side? Why does he want to even be by my side, or claim me as his girlfriend?

I'm a hideous pile of skin and bones, and nothing more. My eyes are sunken in and show no real form of genuine happiness or life. Well, I take that back; they show no form of happiness or life, when he's not around.

"I'm sorry, John, I'm so sorry,"

He pulls his body away from mines and looks me in the eyes, wiping away my tears with his thumbs.

"I love you, Kaydence, I really do. For everything that you are, and for everything that you're not. I don't know why you, or anyone else for that matter, feels the need to do this to themselves,"

I look down at the carpet and sniffle, but he lifts my chin back up, so we're eye to eye again.

"But, it doesn't make me love you any less, baby. To me, you're beautiful - everything about you is beautiful. Your smile brightens up my day, and your eyes," he kisses each of my eyelids, "I could stare into them forever,"

I swear my heart stopped pumping blood, because I felt like I had just died and gone to Heaven. How is it that John could look at me, hideous me, and feel the same exact way that I feel when I look at beautiful him?

"I love you so, so much, John,"

He smiles, "I love you, too,"

I press my lips against his for a quick moment, before pulling away.

"Just please, let me stay?"

He sighs and pushes his forehead agaisnt mines, and I can tell that he's nervous about this.

"If you promise me to try harder than you have been,"

"I promise,"

He grabs my hands and rubs them softly with his thumbs, "I'm being for real, Kaydence, if you promise me something, mean it,"

I swallow hard and nod my head, "I promise,"

He smiles and gives me another kiss, before motioning me to sit on the bed.

"What're you doing?"

"You'll see,"

He goes for his guitar, and pulls it out of his case. A moment later, he's sitting beside me, guitar in hand, and I only stare at him as he strums the chords, letting a beautiful melody fill the room.

"Do you ever feel alone? Or do you ever feel at home? I just want, I want the answers now. I wanna tell you: you'll be okay, someway, somehow. Hold nothin' back, speak how you feel. 'Cause life's a fact, and this shit is real. 'Cause I know it gets rough, and it seems like there's no hope left. So next time you get real low, just take a breath, just sing it out. Ooohhhh, ooohhhh, just take a breath,"

His voice is even more beautiful than any other time I've ever heard it, and it brings tears to my eyes once more.

"No, no, no . . . Oooh, don't be scared; I'll be here. Control your mind."