Smiling Politely

Lexi spent most of the night in her childhood bedroom, trying and failing to sleep but her mind kept turning things over and over. It had been a busy few days.

She didn’t know why but she found herself automatically scrolling to his name and she definitely didn’t know why she pressed the call button.

“Lex?”

“Hi,” she spoke softly.

“Ye alright?”

She sniffled and hoped he didn’t hear it down the line, “Not really.”

“Wha’s up?”

She almost laughed, it seemed such a simple question but had a ridiculous amount of answers, “I really shouldn’t have phoned you, I didn’t mean to I just kind of-”

“Ye know ye don’t need a reason to phone. Wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t,” she heard rustling, “Ten to four in the morning.”

“Shit, Matt, I didn’t realise the time.”

“Wha’s keeping ye awake?” he asked, settling further down into his bunk.

Lexi fixed the pillow at her back and pulled her duvet around her, “I just can’t stop thinking about stuff, about everything. Distract me. How was your show?”

“It was alright, Oli’s voice is getting a bit rough so we’re just playing stuff by ear now, see how he feels every night. Jona‘s fitting in well, he’s a good dude, you‘d like him.”

“Where are you?” she wondered out loud, not really thinking about what she was saying.

Matt pulled his curtain back a little to see the TV in the front lounge still flickering, “On the bus, in my bunk. Where are you?”

She smiled, they had had some good times in his bunk, “At home, mum and dad home,” she sighed and picked at a loose thread on her duvet.

“Yeah? Is that sticker still there from New Year?” he smiled.

“I’d forgotten about that, hang on,” she rolled over and stuck her head under the bed, there it was a little red heart with ‘M&L’ etched on it in black ink, “It’s still there.”

“Nice,” he laughed, “That was a good night.”

Lexi righted herself and wriggled down into the covers, “It was. There were a lot of good nights, and days.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “How’s Josh?”

She scratched her eyebrow, “Uh, angry, pissed off. I don’t really know anymore. There was a whole thing with some girls telling him stuff about me, about us and he believed them and it ended up a bit messy. We both knew it wasn’t going anywhere you’ll be pleased to know.”

“I’m not pleased if yer sad, but I didn’t think he would make ye happy.”

“I’m not sure what’d make me happy these days to be completely honest,” she sighed.

Matt looked up at the carpeted ceiling above him and swallowed hard. Oli kept telling him he had to stop making it so easier for her, that he had to ‘man up’ and well, be a bit of a bastard. But he couldn’t do it.

“I really shouldn’t have phoned you, you must be tired after the show. I’ll let you go and -”

He found himself interrupting her, “Nah, you’re alright. Couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh, okay,” she smiled, a little relieved, “I’ve suddenly run out of chat,” she confessed.

He chuckled, “I’ve not got much either to be honest.”

“That makes conversation a little difficult.”

“Aye, it does,” he smiled.

“Would ye get off the fucking phone Nicholls and shut the fuck up,” shouted Vegan from his bunk below.

Lexi couldn’t help but smile, “I think it’s probably best you go.”

“I think that might be a good idea,” Matt smiled, “Night, love.”

She paused at his old familiar reply, “Night.”