I Think About You Everyday

I’ve been feeling weird ever since I woke up this morning. I’ve not got a hangover, no. I didn’t drink too much just in case Tom did and went and did something stupid. Thankfully, he didn’t. But, better safe than sorry.

When Tom asked me what I wanted for breakfast, I asked for ham on toast with potato chips on the side, with a weird look from Tom, he left the hotel room to get our breakfast (obviously he got something different to me). When I got the food, the weird craving had gone and I was no longer hungry, which indeed annoyed Tom.

I then threw up, Tom holding back my hair. He kept asking me if I was okay, but I just told him I was feeling unwell after clubbing the night before, but my mind was telling me the complete opposite.

I was now sat in my room staring at the outfit I was going to wear to the EMAs. I was wondering if it was the right thing to wear. I mean, Hannah’s outfit looked amazing when it was laid out on my bed. She had put a lot of effort into finding the right things for the outfit today, and then me next to her just, I don’t know, makes me feel cheap. But hey, we aren’t going to be the ones up on stage, so it doesn’t matter.

Tokio Hotel had been nominated for Best Act Ever and Headliner. They were all rather excited about the award show. Apart from Tom. He was pissed off and annoyed. We have no idea why. But according to Bill, Tom goes like this when he doesn’t think they’ll win anything, especially at occasions like this. Everyone’s tried telling him he doesn’t know that they’ll lose. But he’s just too stubborn to listen to them.

“Ebony! I need your help! I can’t zip up the dress!” I snapped out of my train of thought and quickly slipped on my dress, stepping into the bathroom to help Hannah zip her dress up.

“How does it look?” she asked, spinning around for me.

“Amazing. Much better then what you wore for the Tokio Hotel concert,” I giggled.

“Thanks. Um. I was wondering. Do you have your blonde hair extensions?” I walked out of the bathroom to my suitcase to find them. I had every colour of hair extensions, and they were with me. Like they always are when I go away.

“Here you go. Can you do it yourself?” she nodded her head and so I walked out of the bathroom, closing the door shut behind me.

I decided to just back comb my hair a little at the back and decorate it with a small red bow at the side of my head, just above my ear. I put the necklace, black belt, earrings, ring, jacket and high top converse on, and then I was ready.

“Hannah you ready yet?” I called to her, just in time for her to step out of the bathroom.

I picked up my bag and we made our way to the lobby together, which is where we planned on meeting the boys. Tom had called me many times to ask where we were. I just told him we’ll be fashionably late.

***

We were sitting in our seats awaiting for the results for headliner. Best Act Ever had already been announced, but sadly, the boys didn’t win. Rick Astley did.

Tom gripped my hands as the women (I paid no attention to what her name was) began to speak.

“So ladies and gentlemen, if we could please hear the nominees for the Headliner,” that was when the voice over came along.

“Metallica... Linkin Park... Foo Fighters... Tokio Hotel... TheCure... The top three chosen by you. In third place, Metallica. And Second, Linking Park. And the winner is,” Tom’s grip around my hand tightened as the bloke (whose name I also paid no attention to) announce the winner.

“Tokio Hotel!” We all leapt up from our seats, Tom wrapping his arms around my waist, lifting me up and spinning me around, then placing me back down to the floor to hug Bill. I ran over to Gustav and tackled him into a hug before they all left to go to the stage.

The fans were screaming as Bill began his speech.

“Thank you so much! We just played a concert in California and then came here in hopes of a great night, which I can say really has been a great night! And you know playing live, being on stage every night, seeing all our fans, that’s really, really the best for us. So thank you so much for enjoying our music, thank you for coming to our shows, thank you to MTV, and thank you for this award, you did it again! Thank you so much! We are so proud!” I couldn’t help but grin at how much Tom was fidgeting on stage as Bill made his speech. And you could tell Bill was nervous due to how his English was. Hannah and I had both heard him speak much better English then that.

The boys soon came backstage to join us in their dressing room. I ran to Tom and leapt into his arms. “Well done, baby!” I cheered as my feet touched the ground again, giving Tom a glass of champagne. “How does it feel to win an award?”

“As good as making love to you,” he smirked. “...Awesome. I have no words but awesome to how I feel right now,” he grinned.

“Yeah? Well, next time don’t be so fidgeting on stage. Some people may have thought you had a boner,” I giggled.

Tom leaned down to my ear and whispered, “With you on my mind, I do,” and then winked at me, before walking to join his fellow band mates as if he hadn’t said anything.

“Right guys! To the after party! Pink’s just done the last performance!” We all left the dressing room to go the after party and mingle with other celebrities. I daren’t think about what was going through Hannah’s mind right now.

***

“Ebony. You feeling okay?” Hannah asked from the seat opposite me. We were sat in a booth together. Hannah next to Georg who was next to Gustav. Tom was next to Gustav and I was in between Tom and Bill.

I nodded my head at her and took another sip of my water. I had a Sex On The Beach when we first got in (thanks to Tom claiming it was for some random girl) and after that I’ve just been craving water.

“You sure? Normally you don’t lay off the alcohol when you can have some,” she put her hand over mine. I looked up at her and gave a look of “can we talk?”. She nodded her head and led me to the girls toilets.

“What’s up?” I sat on the counter.

“I feel weird. I keep having weird cravings and I’m throwing up in the morning. What’s wrong with me?” I told her.

“When did it start?” she asked.

“This morning. I’ve had weird cravings all day and I keep getting this sick feeling where I just want to throw up,”
I gave her a scared look. I knew we were both thinking the same thing.

“Oh my God,” yep. We were.

“It’s not that. I swear. We used a condom! So it can’t be that!” I shrieked.

“There’s no other reason. It all links to that. Are you sure the condom didn’t break?”

“I’m sure. I’m positively sure. We would’ve stopped if it did,” I told her. Whether it sounded convincing or not, I don’t know. But I did know that my voice was beginning to crack from the tears that were threatening to fall.

“You need to do a home pregnancy test,” she informed.

“No I don’t! That is not the reason! I’m just ill! Okay?” I snapped. Another mood swing.

“Mood swings too, I see?” she smirked. “See? Everything links to that! You need to have a pregnancy test!”

“No. I won’t! That isn’t the answer! I refuse to, and I’m a stubborn bitch!” I snapped, a tear rolling down my cheek.

“Fine. We’ll see how it goes, okay?” she placed her right hand on my left shoulder and I nodded my head at her.

“Good. Now. Let’s go back to that par-tay,” she winked, dragging me out of the toilets.

As we stepped into the lights, thumping music and swarm of drunken celebrities, I couldn’t help but remember feeling Tom’s white liquid entering me. I’m sure I’ve never felt that with other boys.

I sat back down next to Tom, but didn’t look at him. I couldn’t right now, I mean, what if I am? What am I supposed to say do? What do I say to Tom? What will happened to Tom and I? I couldn’t bear the consequences of it right now.