Bastard.

How was I so attracted to him? I mean, he was… him. And I was me. He was so sweet and shy, while I was the school bully; I used to eat kids like him for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

There was just.. Something about him.

He wasn’t a nerd, God no. He wasn’t unpopular, either. He’s the quiet kid of our school’s reigning pops. The one who never gets in trouble. His adorable looks and big smile got him off the hook time after time. He was just.. him. There’s nothing more to say of the boy now sitting across the lunch room, nibbling gently on a sandwich as he reads through a book; I can’t read the title from here.

He looked up and said something to Susan Cassadee before looking back to the book in his right hand. His leg was bouncing under the table, his hand had long since abandoned the sandwich and now his long, slender fingers were tapping against the hard wood-like plastic of the lunch tables.

Susan began talking to him again; he looked up with a raised eyebrow and said something to her before looking back at his book.

I wonder when he’ll see that I’m staring at him.

I wonder when he’ll look u- Shit, shit, shit. He looked up.

Shit, he’s staring at me. Fuck, he’s still looking at me. Now he’s saying something to Susan! Susan’s looking at me, also.

Why can’t I look away from him?! Look away, Dylan! C’mon, you can do it! It’s not that hard to just move your ey- Good boy. Now, act like you were never staring at him. It’ll all be awes- Shit! He’s getting up! Why is he still staring at me?! Is he walking over here?

Fuck, he is.

He’s sitting across from me. He’s smiling. Fuck, he’s smiling. I swallow quickly, not looking directly in his eyes. I can see Dane looking at him. So is Michelle. And Tino? I think so He’s directly on my side; I can’t really see him.

Is he talking? Yeah, he is, dip shit! Open up your ears!

“What?” I asked, completely interrupting whatever he was saying, “Sorry, I wasn’t really… Listening.”

Far from it, in fact.

He’s smiling again. Is he trying to get a death wish? He may be adorable, but I’ll pumme- No, who am I kidding? I think I’ve gone soft. Shit, that won’t go over well with my friends.

“I was just asking if you needed something. You were staring at me, and I just thought…” he said, looking at me expectantly. Tino laughed and choked a bit on whatever he was eating.

I just had to tell him of my crush, didn’t I? It had to be Tino. Tino, the immature, loud-mouthed one. Not Michelle, the understanding, quiet, shy girl, or even Dane, the loud one who knows what needs to be kept in.

“Yeah, Dylan. You got anything to tell him?” Tino said, enjoying this very much. I’d have to talk with the cheeky little bastard later.

“No. Maybe you should get your eyes checked. I wasn’t looking at you. I was looking at that hot piece of ass sitting in front of you,” I said, motioning my head in Susan’s direction.

Oh, how very off that was. I thought Susan was a bitchy whore. That and the fact that I was gay made it hard for me to find myself attracted to her.

“Oh,” he said, looking down a bit dejectedly, “I can hook you up if you’d like.”

“No thanks, sugar. Now run along, or your friends might think we were trying to brainwash you into becoming one of us!” Tino and I both gasped in mock horror; now I remember why he’s my best friend out of the three.

He’s fucking amazing, and, although he is a loud mouth, he’s got my back.

Michelle looked at me harshly, then worriedly at Mark, who was still sitting in his same position, his jaw locked tightly.

“Now, princess. You might want to run along. I don’t think your parents will want to know of your little secret. Not you, their perfect son. You really have them believing all of your bull shit, don’t you? Why don’t you go home and tell mommy and daddy that you’re a fairy?” I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth.

Mark’s nostrils flared gently and his eyes watered up, the orbs now a sparkling blue.

“You’re a bastard, Dylan. And don’t think I don’t remember your little secret,” he murmured menacingly before strolling off as if he hadn’t just been close to tears and threatened.

“Dylan, that was horrible of you!” Michelle hissed at me, making sure to send me an evil glare before returning to her chocolate cafeteria milk.

I stared down at my hands, hoping he was just bluffing. Only Tino knew my secret.