She's A Lady

I woke up this morning with a horrible headache. And I swear to god if my dad has another party like that, I’ll probably never get rid my hangover. Now just to clear this up my dad didn’t actually like it when he found out that I drink, but he lets me as long as I’m home. It’s pretty cool I guess because he has parties that are just fuckin’ crazy.
Oh wait. I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Deidra Spaniolo. Yes I know. I’m a lucky bitch. My dad is the one and only James Spaniolo a.k.a Jamie Madrox. Yeah my dad is Jamie Madrox. And it is awesome sometimes, but I’m sure you understand why it kind of sucks sometimes. Anyway, my mom was a one-night stand, and when he got famous she just dropped me off on his doorstep with a note. I was three. I can’t really remember my mom. But I don’t really want to. Since then there have been various girls in and out of our lives. Some of them were pretty cool, but others are whores and can go die.
So now since you know who I am I guess I’ll tell you about this amazing party. Dad always lets me invite people over to his parties because he wants me to have friends. I don’t really have normal friends. I just hang with my dad and all of his friends. Sometimes though I just want to have normal teenage friends. That hasn’t worked yet because the last three girls who were my friends just wanted to fuck one of the guys. You’ll figure out who exactly qualifies as ‘the guys’ eventually, but basically the psychopathic family is my family.
Yes I am a juggalette. How could I not be? I grew up listening to my dad’s music. I don’t really remember them recording things for The House of Krazees, but I do remember them recording for Freak Show. I guess I remember a little of Mostasteless, but I was like five so. Yeah. But I do have all of their albums. And all of everyone else in Psychopathic. Dad knows what I want so when the albums drop he just gets them for me. No questions asked. I love my dad. He never really asked questions. He just made sure I was happy no matter what that meant. And I guess the rest of the guys do to, just not as much.
So anyways back to the party. It was a little party. But Monoxide, Jay, Shaggy, and Blaze were there. Normally ABK would have been there to but he had recording to do so…yeah. But I invited some people from school. They didn’t know who my dad was so I was safe to let them come home with me.
We all ended up in the basement. And I had brought some liquor down there. There were two other girls Ally and Maria. And there were two guys John and Dominique. I have had this huge crush on Dominique (Dee for short) for like two years but I never really told him. I talk to him everyday, but I never told him about my dad. I am afraid of him being like everyone else. We had been drinking, and Ally suggested we play spin the bottle.
“Your turn Dee. Haha.” Ally was really weird drunk. She was typically very loud but she got weird drinking. I just get louder, which I find weird. Anyways as the bottle spun I got this really bad feeling. I hate it when this happens. I was so wrapped up in the bad feeling that I didn’t realize the bottle landing on me.
“Baby Girl.” Dee’s voice was deep and in my ear. I turned to see him mere centimeters from my face. It startled me a bit. I’ve never really kissed a guy. I know I sound like a little bitch, but I can’t help it. Everyone just hangs out with me to meet my dad. And when they aren’t hanging out for that, they just want a place to get drunk and high. That’s why Ally is here. And speaking of Ally, she saved me from this awkward moment. I thought. That is until I heard what she said.
“I think we’ll just leave you guys alone. I’ve got more booze at my house anyway.” And then they left in a fit of giggles. Stupid alcoholic teenager. When I turned back to look at Dee, I was met with a pair of very soft lips. OH MY FUCKING GOD. I pushed him away and looked at him like he was crazy.
“Baby Girl, what are you doing?” He smiled a little and leaned back in to kiss me again. I personally didn’t know he was that stupid. If a girl pushes you away, there is a problem.
“Dee stop. I don’t want to kiss you. I don’t know you well enough.” When he leaned back he looked annoyed and angry.
“What are you talking about? We’ve known each other for like years.”
“But I don’t know you. I don’t know anything about you. And you don’t know anything about me.”

**Shaggy’s POV**

We were all sitting in the kitchen. Most of the people of the party had left already. Baby Girl’s friends left already. She is down stairs and Jay, Blaze, Monoxide, Madrox, and I are all sitting around the kitchen table trying to play cards. They’re all a little tipsy. No one’s drunk because Madrox doesn’t want his house trashed. And I haven’t had anything thanks to Marissa. She’s my new girlfriend. She doesn’t like me drinking. Normally I would just do it anyway, but she’s picking us up later so no one has to drive drunk. Baby Girl must be asleep. She normally comes back up stairs after everyone leaves. Odd.
“Jamie, you think we should go check on Baby Girl? She’s normally up hear by now.” He looked up and then realized that she wasn’t there.
“Yeah. Hey, do you mind going to check on her? I don’t trust Jay not to sneak a peak at my cards.”
“Sure.” And then I got up to go check.
**Normal POV**

“I think we should get to know each other.” And then he leaned over me pinning my arms down on the floor. I heard footsteps up stairs, but unfortunately so did Dee. He quickly got up and locked the door. When he turned around I started to shake. He looked so scary. I’ve never been so afraid in my life. I couldn’t move. He sat back down straddling me. He put a hand over my mouth just as I heard the doorknob twist. “Don’t make a noise. I wouldn’t want to be interrupted.” I just nodded hoping that the guys would come look for me.
He had pulled off our shirts and was kissing me everywhere. He kept muttering to himself about me being his and whatnot. It was really starting to freak me out though. And I was trying to get my hands out of his so that I could get up. And with a sudden burst of intelligence I did the smartest and most idiotic thing I’ve ever done.
I wrapped my legs around his waist letting myself kiss him back. He seemed startled at first but he seemed to like the change. His grip on my wrists started to loosen. Going along with the little game I moaned into his mouth. He smiled and his hands started to wonder down my body. I knew I had to do this just right so I ran my fingers through his hair biting his bottom lip. This time he moaned into my mouth. Slowly I rolled us so that I was above him. I started to kiss down his throat. I had to be careful about this. I started to hear footsteps again so I reached to his belt buckle hoping that this would distract him from the noise upstairs. I nibbled his ear as I pulled his belt off. And when I heard the doorknob twist I jumped up screaming at the top of my lungs. It didn’t last long because Dee slammed the back of his hand against my face. I fell to the floor as the door to the basement opened. I looked up and saw Shaggy. The others were behind him, but he had obviously been the one at the door.
Just as Dee was about to land another punch Shaggy tackled him. They hit the ground in a fury of punches. I ran to my dad at the top of the stairs. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I just broke. Right in front of the one person who needed to know I could take care of myself. All I could think was ‘I’m so weak’ ‘I’m so weak’ He immediately took me to the living room and gave me a blanket to cover up with.

And so I woke up this morning with a terrible headache. I reviewed what I remembered from the night before, and it didn’t really help my headache. I heard someone walk into the room so I stayed silent and still so I could listen to what they were saying.
“Jay man how am I supposed to react to that? I don’t know what to do.”
“Jamie it will all work out just wait until she wakes up. Let her tell you what happened. You don’t even know who that kid was. What did Shaggy do to him anyways?”
“Threw him out. Literally he threw him out the front door. Told the kid not to come back. I should have been the one to kick his ass. I’m her dad. She’s never cried like that before. She looked so helpless, like she didn’t know who or where she was.”
“Jamie listen to me. She’ll be okay. She’s a strong girl. I don’t know what to do anymore than you do, but she needed you by her side last night. And no matter what you wanted to do she needed you to be with her. I bet she’s glad for once that she has so many guys around here to protect her.” They laughed for a second before I heard someone leave the room and someone walk closer to me. They sat down on the coffee table, and I rolled over to see my dad.
“How much did you hear?”
“All of it.” He chuckled for a second before his face dropped and he looked so sad. “What’s wrong dad?”
“I just don’t know what to do Baby Girl. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to make you happy.”
“Do I have to go back to school?”
“Why don’t you want to go to school?”
“Dee will be there.”
“Was that his name?”
“Yeah. I really don’t want to go. He scares me.”
“What happened exactly?” And so I proceeded to tell him exactly what happened including my ingenious plan to distract him. I wish I hadn’t said anything to him. He looked like a mixture of sad, angry, proud, and amused. I don’t know and I guess he sensed my confusion. “It takes a lot to think in that kind of situation. You’re so strong. I feel like I might have raised you right.”
“Thank you Daddy. I thought you would think I was weak. I shouldn’t have gotten myself into that situation.”
“Baby, that boy would have found a way to put you in that situation. He was crazy. He kept saying you were his, and that no one else could have you.” He chuckled a bit before he noticed just how much that bothered me. “Baby, what do you want me to do?”
“I want to be far away from him. I’ve never been that scared in my life and I didn’t like it. I don’t want to have to worry about him coming back.”
“Well we can’t just move. And I don’t want to send you to your mother. I don’t have many choices Baby.”
“I don’t want you to send me to her either.” As I thought for a moment I remembered this brochure I got about a month ago. It was from some boarding school in Minnesota. They were interested in me because of my academics. I thought about it for a moment longer before jumping off of the couch and running to my room. I looked back and my dad was trying and failing miserably to catch me as I ran up the stairs to my bedroom. I grabbed the envelope before jumping on my bed just in time to miss being squished by my dad as he collapsed on the ground laughing at the fact that he can’t catch me. We do this a lot actually. We’re pretty close. I giggled and looked at him until he noticed the envelope tucked in my arms. He jumped up and grabbed it without asking what it was about.
As he read it his face changed from one of excitement to one of sadness. He looked at me with those sad eyes before he walked out of my room with the envelope.

**Shaggy’s POV**

Jamie walked into the room looking pretty sad. I just saw them running up the stairs. I thought that they were okay now. But when he sat down at the kitchen table, he dropped an envelope on the table before laying his head down on the table. Jay picked up the envelope and read it looking at Jamie every now and then.
“Jamie? What the fuck man? You don’t have to send her. It’s just the school offering.” Jay looked annoyed with Jamie’s bad mood this morning. It had been rather sour around here since we got back this morning.
“It’s what she wants. She was the one that suggested it. She doesn’t want to be here.” Even I could hear the pain in his voice then. And Jamie and me aren’t that close.
“Well just tell her no. It’s not that hard.” Jay is always the sensible one of the two of us because I was thinking the opposite. At least then she would be happy.
“I can’t. That guy goes to school with her. She’s scared to death of having to go back to school. I can’t send her like that, but I can’t just let her not go to school.” And for once Jay has nothing to say. I do though.
“Jamie?”
“Huh? Oh I didn’t know you were there Shaggy.”
“Just send her. We can visit her. She’ll have a chance for real friends. And she won’t have to be here by herself through the tour.”
“Oh shit I forgot about tour. It goes right through her birthday too.” He sat for a moment before he decided that it would be best. “Sure. Alright I’ll call them.”
An hour and a half later Jamie came back to the kitchen where Jay and me were playing with bottle caps (I know we were very bored) with his cell phone and that envelope still in his hands. “She leaves tomorrow at six.”
“IN THE MORNING??????” Jay doesn’t like to get up early if you can’t tell.
“No. At night, which leaves about 23 hours before she catches her plane. Who wants to go tell her?” And then saving us from our exciting game of rock paper scissors Monoxide walks in saying he’d do it. This makes me wonder how he knew what was going on. I didn’t even know he was here. How the hell does that happen? I don’t know. He always does that. Jamie just shrugged and sat down watching the stairs for ten minutes before Baby Girl came running down the stairs and tackled him off of the chair into the floor while screaming ‘Thank you daddy I love you’. And then she licked the side of his face earning a groan and shove from Jamie who then had to wipe his face of with a baby wipe. Why do we have those? Then she ran upstairs to pack her bags, jumping all the way up the stairs.