Heart-Shaped Box

‘Fuck’

Loud knocks on the door made your head throb harder with pain… you have no plan of opening the door though, you could hardly move… it almost felt like in one movement of your body, your head is definitely gonna explode.

Just as you heard your mom get out of her room, you kicked the bathroom door close and locked it, hoping she will think you were just only taking a shower or something… but you only made your mom worry more.

After a couple of minutes, you heard her go downstairs only to come back with somebody else… Gerard.

“Ahreya, please open the door.” Gerard knocked harder on the door, though he talked rather calmly.

“I can’t…” you murmured, your throbbing head resting on the palm of your hand. “I’m gonna come out soon… when I feel like it.”

“Your mom is worried sick…”

“I can’t move…” you replied irrationally, hoping he would stop and just wait for you to come out.

“How sick are you?” he asked, you got surprised with the question though.

“Huh?”

“You’re sick, I know, I’m sick too…” he chuckled. “I need you out here… I know you want to get out from there anyway.”

You laughed and decided to turn the knob and pull the door open, only to reveal Gerard who looked as sick as you are.

“God… are you alright?” he asked.

“I am… kind of… don’t worry about me, erm you?” you asked as you examined him. Aside from looking really ill, he’s still kinda cheerful… you smiled.

“Yeah… but I feel like I want to throw up…” he snickered as he leaned forward on me and pretended to throw up.

“Ow… not on me…” you joked as you stood away from the toilet and opened it for him.

“Come on let’s go.” he turned his back on you and pulled your arm.

“To where?”

“Your room… duh…” he tried to sound as girl-ish as he could and it made you laugh. You knew he was mimicking somebody, and you knew who. Then you reMembered that he has promised something to you before you left the Toro’s house. He said he was going to break up with Nikki first time in the morning.

“Nikki eh? Anyway, you broke up with her yet?” you asked as you sat beside him on your bed.

“Nope. I don’t think I want to go anywhere right now… I don’t feel well enough to show up in front of her.”

“Well you could always throw up on her… believe me it’s better than throwing up on the toilet.”

He just laughed and you knew he doesn’t know about Nikki’s evil personality yet, it’s just good to know that at least now he doesn’t really care when you talk mean things about Nikki. It’s just good to know how much everything between you changed after what happened last night…

It seems like you forgot about being sick while talking to him, same with him too. No pain can take away the happiness you feel right now, everything about you and Gerard is working out… well at least for hours… how the heck could’ve you imagined what happened last night? He got angry as hell with you, then the next thing you know, you were kissing…

“Don’t just laugh there, agree with me!!!” you yelled as you heard footsteps, you guessed it was your mom’s.

But then you saw Gerard was kind of surprised as he looked at the person who finally finished climbing the steps and is now on his way to your room.

It was Mikey.

“I knew you are here.” Mikey crossed his arms and looked at his older brother.

“Why are you here?” Gerard asked him in a soft tone, being ill evident on his expression and voice.

“Mom and Dad are angry, Gee… you have to come home to explain some things and you can come back here later… that’s if they would allow you to…” Mikey talked as if he’s the older brother, reprimanding the younger one.

“Why are they angry, and hey… I thought you’re in church.” Gerard rolled his eyes in a… still… weak manner.

“We’re supposed to be in church right now but they figured out you weren’t in your room, so now they think you just pretended to be sick so that you don’t have to go to church.”

“And since when did I go to church with you?! Seriously…” Gerard snapped, raising an eyebrow at Mikey.

Mikey sort of just began realizing it’s been long since his older brother stopped going to church with them. So… just as Gerard was… he also became confused and realized how pointless their parents were.

“Well… umm I don’t know… I suppose they just don’t want you wandering outside during Sundays.” he answered rather stupidly too.

“Whatever. Mikey, tell them I can’t go home now, I’m sick… no kidding… it’s just by luck that I arrived here without collapsing on the way.”

“Huh yeah and you think they’re gonna believe us? And… wait do I look like your messenger?!!!”

“Mikey… no offence but with the fact that you came here to fetch Gerard by the order of your parents… I mean… they could’ve used the phone to call him instead, you know… I guess you already are their messenger.” you broke your silence and struggled to keep yourself from laughing. Gerard, on the other hand, began laughing hard.

“Thank you Ahreya for making me realize my real purpose in the Way family.” he jokingly frowned at you. “Anyway, Gerard are you going home with me or not?”

“It depends. Well will you carry me if I suddenly collapse?”

“No.”

“Then I’m not going. You see Mikey… if I was the one in your place and you in mine… I would be more than willing to…” Gerard started in a dreamy tone and you started laughing upon seeing Mikey’s what-the-hell expression on his face. “You see… as a brother who knows his—“

“Alright, alright. I will be MORE THAN WILLING TO. Now will you go home with me?”

“Aww you’re so sweet, are you sure my dear little bro?”

“Yes yes. And don’t call me “your dear little bro”. Will we go now?”

“Ok, ok. I’m just gonna say goodbye to my angel.”

“Alright.” Mikey sighed, his arms crossed again as he leaned his back on the wall.

“Mikey, don’t you see, we need privacy.” Gerard joked, still he managed to make Mikey be shocked.

“WHAT THE HELL?!”

“Haha nah really… just wait for me downstairs.”

“Fine then… but don’t do anything! Don’t do anything! Alright? Or mom is gonna kill you…” Mikey started off out from your room and down the stairs as he continued talking. “… or dad is gonna kill you too… and I, myself, am gonna kill you… really don’t do anything with that privacy!”

You waved Mikey goodbye.

“You’re scaring your brother.” you smiled at Gerard.

“He has always been that paranoid.” he smiled back. “I guess I should be going now. I can come back later if you want…”

“No, it’s alright with me. I’ll be fine. Just stay home, alright?” you smiled as you touched his forehead and realized he’s worse than you thought he was. His temperature was that of someone who has fever. You suddenly felt sorry he had to go to your place just to get you out of the bathroom, you just laughed to yourself realizing you were being too stubborn these days. “Don’t come back, you don’t have to.”

“Okay then. Just take care of yourself too.”

“See you on school tomorrow… I guess.” you watched as he exited the door and headed for the stairs. He turned to face you and smiled goodbye. You waved.

You closed your bedroom door and hoped to have a good sleep.

You laid your back on the bed and pulled a pillow, laid your head on top of it, turned to your side, and tried vainly to doze off despite of the heavy throbbing of your aching head.

xxx

You approached the entrance door of your school, opened it, and slowly got in. You were feeling a lot better than you did yesterday. You sighed as you noticed how empty the school corridor was and you are fully aware how late you woke up this morning.

Just before you turned the corner that lead to your locker, you heard the bell ring. You groaned. You missed the whole English period, and you know you’re in trouble for that.

Students started to get out of the classrooms and head to their lockers, preparing for their next period. As the sound of hundreds of footsteps began filling your ear, you reached your locker and opened it, only to reveal a pile of books from the library which Mikey asked you to keep for him. You snatched your red notebook and decided to visit Gerard’s locker first before going to class, hoping you’d see him and if ever… you wanted to make sure he’s already feeling well.

When you finally reached his locker, you saw the whole hallway was deserted, maybe because most of the students whose lockers occupy the space have a different schedule. You stared at the hallway for a while and sighed heavily. He’s still sick… I guess…. You then think he’s not gonna show up in school today… you worried.

After standing there for a couple more seconds, you turned around only to see a girl standing a couple of feet away from you. She was staring at you with wickedness in her beautiful eyes. You immediately felt evil staring from behind those perfect eyes….

“You bitch.” Nikki strode toward you quick enough to startle you, you weren’t able to back away from her. She pulled your arm and pushed you hard. But she’s not strong enough for a girl like you.

You were silent for a while as she continued staring at you. Basing it from the way she stared, you knew she wants you to say something… so you did, still you want to make your response as lame and not something that will satisfy her.

“If I’m a bitch, then what do you think you are?” you smiled as annoying as you can. She did not response though so you continued, now being serious. “Do you actually think I will just let you hurt my friends?”

“I’m not trying to hurt your friends, especially Gerard… maybe hurt him just a bit… I’m trying to hurt YOU. And after all, Gerard can easily recover from it, well… he already did even before I tried to hurt him…”

“You should fucking die.”

“No. Gerard should fucking die—“

And before she can continue… you slapped her on the cheek.

“Don’t you dare get my friends involved in this. If I am your problem, then let it just be between me and you.”

“No Ahreya, now you’re both my fucking problem. He just broke up with me last night… you know... it would have been better if you just did something else to ruin our relationship,” she said, her voice undeniably threatening. You cringed when you heard her say the Word to change to ‘relationship’, it just doesn’t fit right. “…but you made one awful mistake Ahreya… and that mistake is telling him what I told you last night. It makes me think that I have no chance of getting him back… it makes me… do something… something that will make you regret everything you have done… it will make you regret everything that has happened between you and Gerard… I’ll make sure you suffer Ahreya… I am making sure you fucking suffer. And sooner, you’ll lose him. Maybe it won’t kill you physically, but I’m making sure you die inside…”

“You have no right to touch my friends! None at all!” you pushed her hard.

“Alright, I’m giving you two choices Ahreya… I’ll give you another chance. Do you want Gerard to get hurt? Or not? I’m giving you the right to choose.”

“You’re the only one who wants to hurt him, not me.”

“Then let him come back to me. Tell him you lied.”

“I won’t let you have him back.”

“Do you want to keep Gerard and see him get hurt, or do you want him to come back to me?”

“Why the fuck will he get hurt if he’s with me? And what made you think that I’d let him go back to you?”

“You’re gonna pay for this Ahreya… now that I know your weakness…” she grinned evilly at you.

“Whatever happens Nikki, I will never let anybody cause him pain, I will never let him suffer… and most of all I will never hurt him. I love him more than I love myself.” you said in a serious tone, you even scared yourself.

“Fine then.” she sighed sarcastically. “It’s not like you’re getting away with him that easy. You will regret this, Ahreya… I’ll be making sure you fucking regret.”

And with that she turned her back on you and left, leaving you an eerie feeling that has been brought by the Word to change tos that have left her mouth. You stared emptily as she disappeared in view and along with that, the school bell just rung. Then you walked the very same hallway where she disappeared, walking ever so slowly and absent-mindedly turned the corner and attended a class.

xxx

11 days after…

The last few days have been as usual as they have ever been except for the things between you and Gerard. Everything was going better than you thought. You’re definitely having the time of your life. You were just sitting on the steps of your front porch, fixing some things in the plastic bag near you.

The school dance is tomorrow evening and surprisingly you’re pretty much excited about it. You have never been interested when it comes to dances and such, but with the fact that you’re going to the dance with Gerard and your friends, you absolutely can’t wait.

Gerard is beside you, watching you as you fix your things.

“I really like your dress, it matches mine.” he complimented as he held your dress in front of you.

“I haven’t seen what you’re gonna wear.”

“Well it’s simple, a black tux and a red tie.”

“Wow that’s good.” you smiled.

GERARD’S POV

I stared at the smile on her face with worry… her smile is so different… it bothers me lately. Ever since the night before her birthday, everything about her actions seems to be bothering. Is she hiding something?

I looked up at the night sky. The pitch black color of the sky, the absence of the moon and stars… and now even the sky seems to be bothering me too. I reMember how my grandma told me about the sky, it compliments the mood of the person looking up to it. I don’t know why she said that, but since then I always stared up at the heavens at night when I had time to.

But after years and years of observing the sky, it has never been like this… it’s like trying to say something… something really disturbing… something like a threat? A warning? I don’t know.

“Gerard? Are you listening? Have you been listening?” Ahreya knocked me back to my senses, she laughed—well at least now her laugh is real—her hands are on her waist as she pretended to be disappointed.

“Oh sorry… what were you saying again?”

“No, nevermind. So you love staring up at the sky too?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I love the sky.” she said, and a weak smile appeared on my angel’s face. “But tonight the sky doesn’t seem to love me.”

“What do you mean?”

“It scares me lately. It seems like the moon and the stars doesn’t want to light for me, it’s like they’re tired of giving light, they’re somewhat… allowing darkness to completely engulf the world at night.”

“Seems so to me too.”

The night air was bitter and the silence that comes everytime neither of us talk was deafening. The only thing that seem to keep me warm is Ahreya’s presence… and somehow, right now, she means so much to me, it’s like I’d die without her, she completes my life. But I don’t understand why I feel like I’m slowly dying… everything is going out the way I wanted it to be, isn’t it?

“I love you Ahreya.” I whispered to her as she continued looking up. She turned her head to me and smiled.

NORMAL POV

“I love you too…” you replied to him louder than he did.

‘…more than I love my fucking life…’… you thought to yourelf, sighing, and shifted your eyes on the ground. You felt Gerard stood up behind you, place his hands around your waist, and kissed the back of your neck.

’That moment…’ you thought… ‘…was perfect. But fate always find its way to end every good thing… will these good things end too?’