Forever In My Heart
Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
I didn’t realize that it was already noon when mom woke me up with her sweet soothing voice, ”Honey, honey wake up. It’s time to go now if we want to arrive there before dinner. So why don’t you just wash up and breakfast will be waiting downstairs. Okay? I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” And with that she kissed my forehead and left me alone in my bedroom.
I sat up, looking everything around me. No mess on the desk. No clothes lying around. Everything was clear; clean - a sight I’m not used to. Everything was already packed in a box except for my change of clothes and a towel for today. I sighed then biting my lips to hold my tears back. I got up, grabbed the towel sitting on top of the drawer and went out of the room into the bathroom. I took a hot shower trying to relax all my nerves. I let the warm water run on me. I could feel the knot in my stomach. I really don’t want to go. I cannot go back there. But if I stay here I would only hurt mom, dad and also Jimmy’s feeling, besides, I can’t really live here alone without my parents and Jimmy. I need them. But I can’t also live without Eli.
“Honey, are you okay?” A soft knock pulled me away from my thoughts. It was mom. “You’ve been in there for a while now.”
“Yeah, I’m fine mom,” I answered to reassure her. But I’m not even sure if I am fine.
“Okay hun, just don’t take too long.” Then I heard her footsteps walking away from the bathroom door.
I looked down on my body. I didn’t realize that my skin was red from the hot water. I closed the tap and turn on the cold water to cool my body down. I washed my hair and my body. I stepped out of the shower after I have rinsed everything off of me. I wrapped the towel around me tightly. I could still feel the knot in my stomach. I groaned as I could feel my tears are coming back. I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry because of this.
I quickly rushed to my room, hoping that it would stop the tears from spilling out, and got dressed. I packed the towel and the clothes I wore last night into a small plastic bag. I grabbed my backpack. In it was the most important stuff such as my books of poems that I wrote myself, a book called Wuthering Heights, and fling it on my right arm. I took my favorite pillow shoved it under my arm not forgetting my blanket – I could never sleep without these two – and stepped out of the room. But before I could completely leave the room, I looked back, giving my last goodbye to my room and turned around heading towards the stairs.
I went straight to the kitchen, setting my backpack on the counter. I saw Jimmy on his chair. He was munching on his food while playing with his toys. He saw me walked in the kitchen and then smiled at me. He frowned looking at me, searching for something. He was searching for the gift that he gave me. So I show him my keys with the keychain that he gave me. Then his smile is back on his face. I gave him a kiss on his forehead and he continued eating his food and I ate some pancake.
There was a honk from outside the house. My guess is its Eli. I gulped my breakfast down and almost choked on it. Luckily mom gave me an orange juice. I drank it with one big gulp and went outside to meet Eli.
Eli was holding a jacket in her hands. I recognized it as mine, the one that I’ve left in her boutique. She waved at me with a huge smile plastered on her face.
“Hi!” she said. “And a very good morning to you.” She continued.
Oh oh. Something is not right. I thought.
“Um, hello and good morning to you too.”
She throws the jacket at me. Oof. I eyed her suspiciously wondering where my other clothes are.
“Where’s my OTHER clothes?” I asked.
“I throw it away.” She smirked.
“YOU WHAT?!” I was shocked. “Why did you throw it away?” I asked.
“Well the only reason that you even have those ugly clothes is so that you could push yourself away from the guys, right? Am I right or am I not?”
Ugghh, why does she have to know me so well. I thought.
“But do you really have to throw it away?” I half yelled.
“Uhuh. Trashed and burned.”
“YOU BURN IT?!” now I’m yelling.
“Yup, as a fashionistas myself, I can’t let my best friend get caught wearing something so… oh I don’t know… UGLY.” She emphasized on the word ugly.
I rolled my eyes. I turned my back on her and walked into the house. I could hear her giggling behind me as she let herself in. We walked into the kitchen.
“So have you packed everything?” she asked. No trace of humor in her voice just sadness.
“Yeah I guess so.” I turned around to face. She was forcing a smile.
Mom and dad packed all the last minute things and some fresh milk for Jimmy while Eli and I play with Jimmy on the front porch.
Then mom and dad walked out of the front door. We looked up to them. Mom grabbed Jimmy by the arms and walked to the car while dad put everything inside.
“Okay, honey its time. We have to go now.” Dad said. Mom was already buckling Jimmy.
“Just give me a sec dad.” I said. He nodded and went inside the car.
I looked back to Eli.
“So I guess this is it.” Eli said.
“Yeah”
“I’m really gonna miss you.” She said.
“I’m gonna miss you too.”
“Don’t forget to email and call me always. And oh yeah, tell me when you there’s a hot guy there and I will be zooming my way there.”
“Haha… funny.” I said sarcastically.
“Christine honey, we have to go now.” Dad said from his rolled window.
I hugged her and went inside the car. I waved at her and she waved back at me.
“Are you ready honey?” dad asked.
“Umm, maybe.” I answered never taking my eyes off Eli.
“Don’t worry dear. You will see her during summer and maybe Christmas holidays.” Mom reassured me.
I waved at Eli till she was out of sight. I really am going to miss her, I thought.
It’s a six hours drive to Huntsville. My butt is going to be numb. I looked over to Jimmy who was on his baby seat with his toys beside him. He must have noticed that I was staring at him, since he turned his face to me and smiled. I smiled back. At least Jimmy is with me. I really love him, even though he can be annoying sometimes. He always knows how to cheer me up, I thought to myself. Then I took out a book from my bag pack to read it.
I only read until up to the end of chapter 1, when Jimmy pulled on my sleeve. I looked up to him. “Yes Jimmy?” I asked. He reached out his arms to me. I put my book back to my backpack. I then unbuckled him from his seat and pull him on my lap. He cuddles in and shut his eyes. I smiled when I heard his small snore. Maybe his baby seat isn’t as comfortable as I thought it would be. I dozed off hearing the soothing sound of Jimmy breathing in and out.
I woke up when I felt a bright flash burning through my close eyelids. I fluttered open my eyes and saw that mom was holding a camera in her hands. Mom was taking a picture of Jimmy and me sleeping. Typical.
“Sorry honey, I forgot to turn off the flash. Didn’t mean to wake you.” She smiled innocently. I looked down at Jimmy and saw that he was still asleep peacefully.
“We’re here.” Mom said.
I looked up to see the house, the house where my grandma used to live - the house where we stay every summer with grandma, where she will bake one of her famous cookies and my favorite. But then she died 3 years ago and ever since then we never came back here. I love her so much – we love her. And here I am standing outside the house, staring at it. I could feel my tears rolling down my cheeks.
“It’s okay honey. We missed her too. This is just something we have to do since it’s her last wish.” Mom said, wiping the tears off my cheek.
“Here let me take Jimmy.” Mom offered.
“No, it’s okay. I’m fine. I’ll take care of him.” I said.
“Okay hun. I’ll be helping your dad unpacking stuff. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” She smiled, and kissed Jimmy and me on the forehead. She then went inside the house.
I walked out of the car and looked around. Jimmy was still sleeping in my arms. I need Jimmy near me right now. I’m afraid that I would breakdown and cry again. I’ve stopped crying 2 years ago knowing that she wouldn’t come back if I just keep crying. I hugged Jimmy closer and walked into the sunflower field in the backyard.
I was standing in the centre of the field when flashbacks came rushing into my head. I saw grandma smiling down at me. We were in the kitchen. She was sitting next to the counter and she pulled me into her lap. She slipped something over my head. I looked down on it. It was a beautiful ring with a chain around it. It was a silver ring with a pink diamond in the shape of a small heart. There was something written inside it. It was in Italian – ‘Sempre Nel Mio Cuore’. But I didn’t know what it means. I tried to read it out loud, but it came out sounding weird. Grandma laughed at me. She snuggled me closer and kissed my forehead.
“Forever in my heart.” She finally said. “Happy 6th Birthday.” She kissed me again and hugged me.
I was brought back to reality, when I felt a small hand on me cheek. I looked down and saw Jimmy staring at me smiling. I didn’t realize that I was crying until Jimmy wiped my wet cheeks. I smiled at him and hugged him closer.
It was getting dark so I decided to go inside the house. I walked up to the house and saw mom standing on the porch looking at me, sadness filled her eyes. I walked up to her and she hugged me. “It will be okay honey.” She whispered in my ear reassuring me. I nodded and kissed her cheeks. She took Jimmy from me and I went straight upstairs to where my room is supposed to be.
I opened the door to my bedroom and saw my luggage lying next to the closet. I looked around the room – it was still the same. It’s like it has never been touched. Exactly the same as when I left it a few years ago. I sighed and walked towards my closet grabbing my luggage along with me. I unpacked everything and walked towards my bed. I lay on my bed taking in everything. Every smell, every sight. The scent – strawberry with a mix of vanilla – it smells of grandma. It’s our favorite smell, both grandma and me.
When we stayed here during the summer, grandma used to lie beside me and read me bedtime stories. I will always snuggle beside her. I really miss her. I turned my head to the right and saw a picture of grandma, mom, dad and me. Jimmy wasn’t born yet when grandma died.
I stared at grandma’s face. She really is beautiful even in her sixties. I guess that’s where mom got her looks. Grandma has the brightest smile I have ever seen. Her eyes are even brighter. I’m not even sure if that’s possible. But with grandma I guess nothing is impossible.
I was startled by the knock on the door. I saw dad popping his head through the door.
“Yeah dad.” I said, my voice broke. I didn’t realize I had been crying, so I quickly wiped it away with my sleeve before he could see it and then I sit up.
“Are you okay honey?” Concern filled his voice.
“Yeah dad, I’m fine” I assured him.
“Well it’s time for dinner. You haven’t eaten anything yet have you?”
“No dad.” And just to confirm that, my stomach growled. Dad laughed at me and slowly blood crept to my cheeks.
“Okay honey. We’ll be waiting for you downstairs.” He closed the door and I listened as his footsteps slowly fade away.
When I was certain he was not outside the hall anymore, I went to the bathroom just next to my room to wash my face.
Then I went downstairs into the dining room. We ate in silence. But it was broken when Jimmy suddenly burped. We started laughing and I saw Jimmy’s blushing.
When we were done eating, I helped mom with the dishes while dad brings Jimmy to the living room.
When I was washing the dishes, it suddenly hit me about what mom said to me before.
“Mom.” I called her.
“Yes honey?” she asked looking up at me.
“You said that we were moving here because it’s grandma’s last wish. Why exactly did she wants us to move here?” I looked at her suspiciously.
“It’s ONE of her last wish honey.” She corrected me.
“Yeah, I know. But why now? Why not 1 or 2 years ago?”
“Because we have to wait till you’re 17 to move here.”
“What has that got to do with me being 17?” I’m really curious now.
“Well, honey. You just have to find out about that when the time comes.” Mom sighed.
“When exactly is the time, mom?” I was getting impatient.
“Honey I can’t tell you now. Because if I do then I will break my promise with your grandma.” She explained.
“Oh.” I sighed. I guess I would just have to wait. I never really like guessing.
“It will be okay honey. Besides your grandma always have your best interest and she knows what’s best for you.” She assured me. I smile half – heartedly at her.
When we were done with the dishes and cleaning the tables, we went to where dad and Jimmy are. Dad was sitting on a sofa beside the fireplace with Jimmy on his lap. When mom entered the room, Jimmy got excited and reached out his arms. Mom takes him onto her lap, cuddling and kissing him then sits down besides dad on the sofa.
“Mom, dad. I’m gonna go to bed now. I’m kind of tired. So I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said as I walked towards them. I gave each of them a kiss on their cheeks.
“Okay, honey. Good night.” Mom and dad said simultaneously.
I walked out of the living room and towards the stairs. I realized that I just passed grandma’s room. So I took a few steps back and opened the door to grandma’s room. My eyes went teary again for the 4th time today. I looked around, seeing that nothing has changed. Her rocky chair was still by the window, where you can see the entire backyard. Her strawberry – vanilla scent was everywhere.
I lied on her bed, wishing that if I could come back to the time before the accident. I know that if it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t be in an accident in the first place. If it wasn’t for me wanting grandma to come to my 14th birthday party exactly on time, she wouldn’t get on the cab with a drunken cab driver and got into an accident. It was because of me she left this world, I thought. It was all my fault. If only I could go back in time just to stop her from getting into that cab.
And now the tears that I had hold back all these years are threatening to leak out. I cried myself to sleep, wishing that I could see my grandma in my dreams.
I didn’t realize that it was already noon when mom woke me up with her sweet soothing voice, ”Honey, honey wake up. It’s time to go now if we want to arrive there before dinner. So why don’t you just wash up and breakfast will be waiting downstairs. Okay? I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” And with that she kissed my forehead and left me alone in my bedroom.
I sat up, looking everything around me. No mess on the desk. No clothes lying around. Everything was clear; clean - a sight I’m not used to. Everything was already packed in a box except for my change of clothes and a towel for today. I sighed then biting my lips to hold my tears back. I got up, grabbed the towel sitting on top of the drawer and went out of the room into the bathroom. I took a hot shower trying to relax all my nerves. I let the warm water run on me. I could feel the knot in my stomach. I really don’t want to go. I cannot go back there. But if I stay here I would only hurt mom, dad and also Jimmy’s feeling, besides, I can’t really live here alone without my parents and Jimmy. I need them. But I can’t also live without Eli.
“Honey, are you okay?” A soft knock pulled me away from my thoughts. It was mom. “You’ve been in there for a while now.”
“Yeah, I’m fine mom,” I answered to reassure her. But I’m not even sure if I am fine.
“Okay hun, just don’t take too long.” Then I heard her footsteps walking away from the bathroom door.
I looked down on my body. I didn’t realize that my skin was red from the hot water. I closed the tap and turn on the cold water to cool my body down. I washed my hair and my body. I stepped out of the shower after I have rinsed everything off of me. I wrapped the towel around me tightly. I could still feel the knot in my stomach. I groaned as I could feel my tears are coming back. I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry because of this.
I quickly rushed to my room, hoping that it would stop the tears from spilling out, and got dressed. I packed the towel and the clothes I wore last night into a small plastic bag. I grabbed my backpack. In it was the most important stuff such as my books of poems that I wrote myself, a book called Wuthering Heights, and fling it on my right arm. I took my favorite pillow shoved it under my arm not forgetting my blanket – I could never sleep without these two – and stepped out of the room. But before I could completely leave the room, I looked back, giving my last goodbye to my room and turned around heading towards the stairs.
I went straight to the kitchen, setting my backpack on the counter. I saw Jimmy on his chair. He was munching on his food while playing with his toys. He saw me walked in the kitchen and then smiled at me. He frowned looking at me, searching for something. He was searching for the gift that he gave me. So I show him my keys with the keychain that he gave me. Then his smile is back on his face. I gave him a kiss on his forehead and he continued eating his food and I ate some pancake.
There was a honk from outside the house. My guess is its Eli. I gulped my breakfast down and almost choked on it. Luckily mom gave me an orange juice. I drank it with one big gulp and went outside to meet Eli.
Eli was holding a jacket in her hands. I recognized it as mine, the one that I’ve left in her boutique. She waved at me with a huge smile plastered on her face.
“Hi!” she said. “And a very good morning to you.” She continued.
Oh oh. Something is not right. I thought.
“Um, hello and good morning to you too.”
She throws the jacket at me. Oof. I eyed her suspiciously wondering where my other clothes are.
“Where’s my OTHER clothes?” I asked.
“I throw it away.” She smirked.
“YOU WHAT?!” I was shocked. “Why did you throw it away?” I asked.
“Well the only reason that you even have those ugly clothes is so that you could push yourself away from the guys, right? Am I right or am I not?”
Ugghh, why does she have to know me so well. I thought.
“But do you really have to throw it away?” I half yelled.
“Uhuh. Trashed and burned.”
“YOU BURN IT?!” now I’m yelling.
“Yup, as a fashionistas myself, I can’t let my best friend get caught wearing something so… oh I don’t know… UGLY.” She emphasized on the word ugly.
I rolled my eyes. I turned my back on her and walked into the house. I could hear her giggling behind me as she let herself in. We walked into the kitchen.
“So have you packed everything?” she asked. No trace of humor in her voice just sadness.
“Yeah I guess so.” I turned around to face. She was forcing a smile.
Mom and dad packed all the last minute things and some fresh milk for Jimmy while Eli and I play with Jimmy on the front porch.
Then mom and dad walked out of the front door. We looked up to them. Mom grabbed Jimmy by the arms and walked to the car while dad put everything inside.
“Okay, honey its time. We have to go now.” Dad said. Mom was already buckling Jimmy.
“Just give me a sec dad.” I said. He nodded and went inside the car.
I looked back to Eli.
“So I guess this is it.” Eli said.
“Yeah”
“I’m really gonna miss you.” She said.
“I’m gonna miss you too.”
“Don’t forget to email and call me always. And oh yeah, tell me when you there’s a hot guy there and I will be zooming my way there.”
“Haha… funny.” I said sarcastically.
“Christine honey, we have to go now.” Dad said from his rolled window.
I hugged her and went inside the car. I waved at her and she waved back at me.
“Are you ready honey?” dad asked.
“Umm, maybe.” I answered never taking my eyes off Eli.
“Don’t worry dear. You will see her during summer and maybe Christmas holidays.” Mom reassured me.
I waved at Eli till she was out of sight. I really am going to miss her, I thought.
It’s a six hours drive to Huntsville. My butt is going to be numb. I looked over to Jimmy who was on his baby seat with his toys beside him. He must have noticed that I was staring at him, since he turned his face to me and smiled. I smiled back. At least Jimmy is with me. I really love him, even though he can be annoying sometimes. He always knows how to cheer me up, I thought to myself. Then I took out a book from my bag pack to read it.
I only read until up to the end of chapter 1, when Jimmy pulled on my sleeve. I looked up to him. “Yes Jimmy?” I asked. He reached out his arms to me. I put my book back to my backpack. I then unbuckled him from his seat and pull him on my lap. He cuddles in and shut his eyes. I smiled when I heard his small snore. Maybe his baby seat isn’t as comfortable as I thought it would be. I dozed off hearing the soothing sound of Jimmy breathing in and out.
I woke up when I felt a bright flash burning through my close eyelids. I fluttered open my eyes and saw that mom was holding a camera in her hands. Mom was taking a picture of Jimmy and me sleeping. Typical.
“Sorry honey, I forgot to turn off the flash. Didn’t mean to wake you.” She smiled innocently. I looked down at Jimmy and saw that he was still asleep peacefully.
“We’re here.” Mom said.
I looked up to see the house, the house where my grandma used to live - the house where we stay every summer with grandma, where she will bake one of her famous cookies and my favorite. But then she died 3 years ago and ever since then we never came back here. I love her so much – we love her. And here I am standing outside the house, staring at it. I could feel my tears rolling down my cheeks.
“It’s okay honey. We missed her too. This is just something we have to do since it’s her last wish.” Mom said, wiping the tears off my cheek.
“Here let me take Jimmy.” Mom offered.
“No, it’s okay. I’m fine. I’ll take care of him.” I said.
“Okay hun. I’ll be helping your dad unpacking stuff. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” She smiled, and kissed Jimmy and me on the forehead. She then went inside the house.
I walked out of the car and looked around. Jimmy was still sleeping in my arms. I need Jimmy near me right now. I’m afraid that I would breakdown and cry again. I’ve stopped crying 2 years ago knowing that she wouldn’t come back if I just keep crying. I hugged Jimmy closer and walked into the sunflower field in the backyard.
I was standing in the centre of the field when flashbacks came rushing into my head. I saw grandma smiling down at me. We were in the kitchen. She was sitting next to the counter and she pulled me into her lap. She slipped something over my head. I looked down on it. It was a beautiful ring with a chain around it. It was a silver ring with a pink diamond in the shape of a small heart. There was something written inside it. It was in Italian – ‘Sempre Nel Mio Cuore’. But I didn’t know what it means. I tried to read it out loud, but it came out sounding weird. Grandma laughed at me. She snuggled me closer and kissed my forehead.
“Forever in my heart.” She finally said. “Happy 6th Birthday.” She kissed me again and hugged me.
I was brought back to reality, when I felt a small hand on me cheek. I looked down and saw Jimmy staring at me smiling. I didn’t realize that I was crying until Jimmy wiped my wet cheeks. I smiled at him and hugged him closer.
It was getting dark so I decided to go inside the house. I walked up to the house and saw mom standing on the porch looking at me, sadness filled her eyes. I walked up to her and she hugged me. “It will be okay honey.” She whispered in my ear reassuring me. I nodded and kissed her cheeks. She took Jimmy from me and I went straight upstairs to where my room is supposed to be.
I opened the door to my bedroom and saw my luggage lying next to the closet. I looked around the room – it was still the same. It’s like it has never been touched. Exactly the same as when I left it a few years ago. I sighed and walked towards my closet grabbing my luggage along with me. I unpacked everything and walked towards my bed. I lay on my bed taking in everything. Every smell, every sight. The scent – strawberry with a mix of vanilla – it smells of grandma. It’s our favorite smell, both grandma and me.
When we stayed here during the summer, grandma used to lie beside me and read me bedtime stories. I will always snuggle beside her. I really miss her. I turned my head to the right and saw a picture of grandma, mom, dad and me. Jimmy wasn’t born yet when grandma died.
I stared at grandma’s face. She really is beautiful even in her sixties. I guess that’s where mom got her looks. Grandma has the brightest smile I have ever seen. Her eyes are even brighter. I’m not even sure if that’s possible. But with grandma I guess nothing is impossible.
I was startled by the knock on the door. I saw dad popping his head through the door.
“Yeah dad.” I said, my voice broke. I didn’t realize I had been crying, so I quickly wiped it away with my sleeve before he could see it and then I sit up.
“Are you okay honey?” Concern filled his voice.
“Yeah dad, I’m fine” I assured him.
“Well it’s time for dinner. You haven’t eaten anything yet have you?”
“No dad.” And just to confirm that, my stomach growled. Dad laughed at me and slowly blood crept to my cheeks.
“Okay honey. We’ll be waiting for you downstairs.” He closed the door and I listened as his footsteps slowly fade away.
When I was certain he was not outside the hall anymore, I went to the bathroom just next to my room to wash my face.
Then I went downstairs into the dining room. We ate in silence. But it was broken when Jimmy suddenly burped. We started laughing and I saw Jimmy’s blushing.
When we were done eating, I helped mom with the dishes while dad brings Jimmy to the living room.
When I was washing the dishes, it suddenly hit me about what mom said to me before.
“Mom.” I called her.
“Yes honey?” she asked looking up at me.
“You said that we were moving here because it’s grandma’s last wish. Why exactly did she wants us to move here?” I looked at her suspiciously.
“It’s ONE of her last wish honey.” She corrected me.
“Yeah, I know. But why now? Why not 1 or 2 years ago?”
“Because we have to wait till you’re 17 to move here.”
“What has that got to do with me being 17?” I’m really curious now.
“Well, honey. You just have to find out about that when the time comes.” Mom sighed.
“When exactly is the time, mom?” I was getting impatient.
“Honey I can’t tell you now. Because if I do then I will break my promise with your grandma.” She explained.
“Oh.” I sighed. I guess I would just have to wait. I never really like guessing.
“It will be okay honey. Besides your grandma always have your best interest and she knows what’s best for you.” She assured me. I smile half – heartedly at her.
When we were done with the dishes and cleaning the tables, we went to where dad and Jimmy are. Dad was sitting on a sofa beside the fireplace with Jimmy on his lap. When mom entered the room, Jimmy got excited and reached out his arms. Mom takes him onto her lap, cuddling and kissing him then sits down besides dad on the sofa.
“Mom, dad. I’m gonna go to bed now. I’m kind of tired. So I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said as I walked towards them. I gave each of them a kiss on their cheeks.
“Okay, honey. Good night.” Mom and dad said simultaneously.
I walked out of the living room and towards the stairs. I realized that I just passed grandma’s room. So I took a few steps back and opened the door to grandma’s room. My eyes went teary again for the 4th time today. I looked around, seeing that nothing has changed. Her rocky chair was still by the window, where you can see the entire backyard. Her strawberry – vanilla scent was everywhere.
I lied on her bed, wishing that if I could come back to the time before the accident. I know that if it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t be in an accident in the first place. If it wasn’t for me wanting grandma to come to my 14th birthday party exactly on time, she wouldn’t get on the cab with a drunken cab driver and got into an accident. It was because of me she left this world, I thought. It was all my fault. If only I could go back in time just to stop her from getting into that cab.
And now the tears that I had hold back all these years are threatening to leak out. I cried myself to sleep, wishing that I could see my grandma in my dreams.