I Am Nothing Without You

"Hephaestion."

The calm ocean met the burning sun, searching one another for the peace they both hoped for - the peace they had long forgotten back in Mieza, in Pella, where their love blossomed.

"My Alexander."

The desperate king took the tired general's hand in his, holding on to the last bit of his sanity. His lips trembled and his eyes burned with tears, staring at Hephaestion, his life and soul.

Ragged breaths escaped from the pale and chapped lips and shivers shook the fatigued, battered body. Convulsions came and went, leaving a painful reminder on both men; physical on Hephaestion, mental on Alexander. If this was their last moment together, the images of his lover's shaking body would be, from now on, forever etched into his thoughts and dreams.

"I'll be up soon," the older one whispered, smiling up at Alexander.

"I believe you."

Alexander placed his hand on Hephaestion's cheek, feeling the burning skin, and let a tear escape.

"Ale- Alexander, do you remember... when we were younger... do you remember the promise I made you?"

Alexander only responded with a small nod, a smile gracing the saddened face. He could see Hephaestion's eyes slowly losing their spark. The once raging waves were now but a silent, unmoving body of water; he was losing strength.

The young prince lay on his bed, curled up with a copy of The Iliad in his hands. His friend, Hephaestion, at his side, listening as Alexander read aloud to the both of them.

"Alexander," Hephaestion began, looking up at the young, golden haired prince. "You've always called me Patroclus, and you, Achilles. If this is so, then I die first."

Alexander turned to him, an alarmed look in his eyes, but it was soon washed away at the sight of Hephaestion's eyes. He smiled. "Then I will follow you soon, just as Achilles did. I could never be long without you, Hephaestion; this, you know." He held Hephaestion's cheek, stroking at the soft skin with his thumb.

"Yes, and because of this, I fear for you. You know I couldn't last either, but we both know, even the whole army knows, that you have little patience, Alexander. What will you do if I was sent on a mission, and it takes more than just a few weeks?" His eyes held Alexander's, and he knew, he had known for so long already, that Alexander would make a great king. He would see the world, and have everything he ever dreamed. He knew this, because he saw the world in Alexander's eyes.

"I will do the same that you do when I am with my father, and you are at Pella - I will stare up at the stars and the moon. You are my moon, Hephaestion, you light up my dark nights, you and your stars. You help me see when I'm blinded by my pride and my anger."

Hephaestion smiled and traced the side of Alexander's face with his fingertips. "You are the sun, Alexander, I have known this from the very first time I laid my eyes on you. Your dreams outshine all others, and you will conquer and lead many into brighter days. And, just like the moon and the sun, though I know I will never be able to be your equal, a king, I will chase you around the world. Wherever you go, I go too, Alexander. I will fight your battles with you, I won't let you lose. I promise you this."

A painful gasp escaped his lips, followed by heavy breaths.

"Fight this, Hephaestion. I know you can." The king choked back a sob as he spoke, watching the one he loved the most struggle for life.

"My Achilles, sometimes, I wonder, when I am gone-"

"No, don't say that. Please don't leave me, Hephestion," he pleaded, clutching Hephaestion's hand to his chest.

"Listen to me. When I am gone, who will take my place? Someone needs to be there for you."

"None, Hephaestion. No one will ever take your place. I will go on in darkness if you are gone, I will do so until I join you and our destiny is fulfilled. It's our destiny, Hephaestion, to die together. You know this better than I."

"No, Alexander, our destiny is just that of Achilles and Patroclus. I will go on first and you will stay, and fight for me; fight for the love we shared. And then, when it is time, we will be together again." He smiled, and placed his hand on Alexander's. He knew deep in his heart that Alexander would never be truly alone. "I will always be with you Alexander, even after death. You carry me in your heart, in your soul, and in your eyes. I, too, am Alexander. As long as you continue being who you are, I live within you. Don't let sharp tongues and piercing eyes change you, change the dreams you've long wanted to come true. You are Alexander, many will fear and respect you, but even then, I worry for you without me."

The sun bled tears, flooding the world.

"I am nothing without you."

Alexander crawled onto the bed beside Hephaestion, limbs shaking as he did so. He pulled the general into him, letting him rest his head on his shoulder, and wrapped his arms around him.

"Many love you, Alexander, but none as true and deep as I do."

"And I love you, Hephaestion, no other."

Hephaestion leant his forehead on Alexander's cheek, breathing heavily through the pain that shot through his body. His final moments, and it was with Alexander. The gods have blessed his prayers and did not let him die alone as he used to think he would. He placed his heavy hands on Alexander's chest, gripping tightly at his chiton. "I'll go wherever you will go. I promised you, Alexander."

"I know, Phae." He held on tightly to Hephaestion, his body shaking as Hephaestion's did. "Fight this." He lifted Hephaestion's chin and pressed his lips to his.

Hephaestion placed a hand on Alexander's cheek and gently brought his face closer. He had long missed the feeling of Alexander's lips and the feeling of his love for him radiating through his skin every time they were like this.

"I love you." Alexander murmured into Hephaestion's lips, his tears mixing with their kiss.

Hephaestion pulled away from Alexander with a painful gasp, his back arching with each breath he took. This was it. He knew that this would be the last.

Alexander watched him in horror, and he immediately pulled the dying soldier in his arms, mumbling an excerpt from The Iliad - their favorite.

The convulsing soon stopped causing Alexander to stop as well. He looked down at Hephaestion, hoping to see him smiling at him, blue eyes drowning him just as they did before. But no, the sea had been drained, and left nothing but the fish to die on the empty sea bed.

x

Alexander walked glumly through the palace gardens, alone. He wept and screamed, but none of what he did would bring his dead lover and friend back. He felt empty and hollow, a half of him gone; gone with Hephaestion. Never, would he be the same again.

He looked up at the sky and was surprised to see that the moon was bleeding red. He knew of this occasion, Aristotle had spoken of it before. A lunar eclipse, they called it, when the earth blocks the moon from the sun's light. This, he thought, was perfect for this night, because now, it is only this living earth that separates the moon, Hephaestion, from the sun, Alexander.

x

Three months.

Hephaestion had been waiting for Alexander for three long months, and now, Alexander knew he would be with his love soon. He watched all those around him, watching him die slowly with tears in his eyes. These men that he grew up with, doubted him, and even, defied him at times, would now see him at his weakest, most vulnerable state. Many times, he knew that they wished him dead, but now that it's almost factual, they weep. He could almost laugh at the irony of it all, but feared that if he did, it would be his last breath.

He noticed Ptolemy look out the window, as did many others.

"It's a solar eclipse, Alexander," he said, a sad smile on his old friend's worn face.

Alexander smiled and turned his gaze to the bronze bust of Hephaestion in the corner of his room. It was time for them to be reunited once more. He felt the pain coursing through his body much stronger than before. He slipped the golden ring from his finger, raising it up to the gods.

Take this offering, father Zeus, as a sign of my love for Hephaestion and let me be with the one I chose to love eternally. Let me end the suffering he and I have gone through by joining him. Let us be together once more in the house of Hades, just as Achilles and Patroclus are. Let not my mistakes hinder me from being with him. Please, grant me this final request.

Ptolemy watched as the King's arm fell to the side with a final breath, the ring he had cherished so landed on the floor. Many began to sob at the loss of a great friend and a great ruler, because, despite his many tyrannical decisions, he gave back to his people so much. He gave them love, friendship, and a new future to look forward to.

"The moon had caught up with the sun, it seems. You fulfilled your promise to Hephaestion, Alexander, and I pray to the gods that you will never be separated again."

End.